The year is almost over. Every single time this year I think "Holy Shit! The year is over?!" But who doesnt. I got on iPod for Xmas, so as I sit here trying to finish uploading the last of my music (Not sure if you knew I was a music whore...this is a long process), figured what a good time to pop out my year end blog. I must say, as I've mentioned before - something's changing in my life. I think this year was the start, next year will be more changing and somewhat of a prep and 2012 will be my year. I dont want to put expectations on one particular year, but 2012 is the Year of the Dragon and we all know what that means. But who knows. I hope to continue with these slow changes in my life. I'm really hoping for a major upswing in the financial situation, but again we'll see. For now: 2010.
January:
NYE started of lovely - Lumberjack party at my bro's and ended up with a fun hook up in the process. January was the month I got glasses. During the prior few months, I noticed I was squinting at street signs and having a hard time reading things on the TV or movie screen. Age sort of bitch slapped me. I've had perfect vision my whole life. I go visit this Aussie eye fellow - and he tells me I have a very mild case of near-sighttedness. He doesnt know why, said its actually unusual for someone with perfect vision to start having issues at my age, but says not to worry and honestly doesnt think it'll get any worse. I'm only to wear them when I need them. So driving at night and when I watch movies/tv/plays that are a bit far away - I wear them. What can I say - I know I can pull of the cute librarian when I want :). January was also full of Revenger's Tragedy rehearsals. This is the show that ended up being something I loved and hated at the same time. We were supposed to open in January, permits fell through at the new MWC space, then the next few months became are we going to do it? If so where and when. The damn thing got post-phoned and moved so many times it sort of killed the love for the show. But - my little brother was in it as a small role and I did really dig the show and the people in it and it did end up being awesome. But Lawd.
February:
Nothing too exciting happening in Februrary except of course my birthday! We hit up the District Lounge again. That seems to be becoming my birthday hang out. A faboo crew came out and we had a great night. There was also a bowling night in there somewhere, but I point this out because I was reunited with a friend of mine from HS. He's a great person and I was so glad he popped back into my life. Also during this time I was starting to fall for said NYE hook up not knowing what was ahead. Also Revengers...still rehearsing and unsure.
March:
Another nothing really to report (I guess I had kind of a slow start to the year). Except Revengers finally opened!!!!! Yay! We had only 2 days of tech in the brand new spot we had available to us and had to completely change the staging. It was nerveracking, alot of work, alot of blood sweat and tears but the damn thing finally went up and was quite well recieved. Being in a show with my lil bro made it all worthwhile. He made me so proud! I know he'll never do it again though! ;)
April:
We closed Revengers in April. So proud, so happy. In April, mom and I also went and saw Stomp - I had got us tix for her bday and we had a fantastic time as always.
Both of us such huge fans of the group. April also of course brings Coachella! No need to go into detail here, as all you readers I'm sure read the Coachella day blogs. But of course - an always memorable time with my girls!
May:
Lesseee...May's highlights would include the music of course. Our annual trip to Doheny Blues fest falls in here - again no details needed as it has its own blog, and T and I took E to see Massive Attack for her bday present. We had a great time and I absolutley dug Massive Attack! Wasnt familiar with them, but am now a fan! We also made to and Angels game this month, and it was a particularly fun evening becuase our friend Vinnie who I adore - pretty much treated me, D and Nat to the whole evening. So much fun! May also brings the annual White Trash BBQ. I have had to miss it the past few years due to my Havasu trips, but didnt make it out there this year so was able to make an appearance in my WT get up with Tab soda and Twinkies in hand. As per usual The Matzkanins threw a fabulous party! This was also the month my heart got a little broken, because dumb me had started falling for the previous mentioned fellow only to get slapped in the face. There's a blog about that one too :)
June:
We're now rollin into Summer - my FAVORITE time of year, so I'm sure I was in much better spirits all around. We started the month off seeing my friends Susy and Mark tie the knot, then immediatly after said wedding - T and I blast off to LA to see LCD Soundsystem.....aaawwweeesssooome!!! Other highlights were our SATC girls day out (Altho only 3 of us made the movie), Seeing my darlin Shan sing, another round of Gogol Bordello and ended the month off in Palm Springs for Robin's bday weekend and flying back in time to make T's mom's 70th.
July:
July of course brings Kelly's Beach - again it has its own blog, but always an adventure. July was also full of artwalks and outside events which I always love as well as a visit to Pageant of the Masters which as usual was very beautiful. July 4th weekend was a blast - had a nice party on the 3rd with great friends and spent the 4th BBQing with my gay husband.
August:
August highlights finally got me to the OC Fair, again lots of summer events, Simon's 1 year bday, the Foodie Fest and seeing another set of friends get married. This particular wedding was at a Winery and was very beautiful. These are my Ken/Barbie friends - yes they are that pretty. The the biggest change in August was the Chapman job offer. Yup - as you all know I have a new job. At the time of course I didnt realize what a difference it would make, but it has really been the best decision I could have made. It was hard, stressful, uncomfortable and nerve racking but I did it. I got it. And I dig it.
September:
September's highlights are the Street Fair - we always have a blast of bike riding, drinking and eating way too much all weekend. More lovely outside events....God I love summer....and of course the best moment all month - Muse. They again have thier own blog, but what an amazing show.
October:
October is pretty much when kickball and my training started. So this was a good thing. I was starting to try to get my fat ass back in shape. Also saw yes some MORE friends tie the knot in a beautiful very windy wedding down in Long Beach. I was able to hit San Clemente for one day/night (the new job did unfortunatly get in the way of that vacation). I saw a good amount of theater this month it seemed. I also had a bit of a party month. One weekend was a friends Tim Burton themed party - I was a hit. The next month was a surprise bday party for Lori then the next weekend was Halloween! My Jay had a party up in WeHo this year that was faboo as usual and my busted up doll costume was a hit. Our usual trip to Haunt was also a blast.
November:
November was filled with more theater, kickball, training, dinners and a couple of parties. Lots of time with friends and family and of course Thanksgiving. It was at the bro/sis-in-law's place this year and was really nice!
December:
More parties - a pajama Xmas party, a rave themed bday party and of course Christmas!!! Which was lovely.
So here we are at the end of 2010.
I can finally not say what a horrible year. Its been of a year of lots of slow change - change I didnt even realize was happening. And I'm still changing which is really weird but good. I handle life differently. As always, it seems friendships change. I'm starting to spend more time with less people. Dont get me wrong - I love all my friends, all the parties and gatherings, etc. But I'm truly valuings those one on one times with the friends that truly understand and support me. My trust in people and what I share with people has altered. When it comes to men, I'm even a bit different. I'm more open to giving things a chance, but if its not going anywhere and I'm not feeling that connection - fuck it. I honestly dont want to waste my time. I think this whole self discovery thing is affecting that for sure. I'm also starting to accept myself for who I am. And I like it. I know I'm a good person. I know I'm an even better friend. So take it or leave it.
SO thats it I guess! 2010 is driving to a close. I'll be bringing in the new year in jammies with whoever comes over.
I hope 2011 brings all you readers nothing but peace love and happiness. I know it sounds corny - but its true.
Happy New Year everyone!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
The Holidays have arrived....
Warning - this blog may be another nonsense rambling one...although when I come to think of it which one of my blogs are not just that right?
Anyway - the holidays are here. Christmas Eve is 2morow! My plans of the day are still up in the air. This is the 1st year in who knows how long I have nothing to do. The holidays are a little tricky this year. Papa's health of course kept the question raised of where/what we would be doing with them. But he's doing ok, so it looks like Ma will be bringing them over here Xmas day for a while, then I'll be having dinner with dad later that night. Shane/D are on a plane to Ireland as I type. Ma is housesitting thier place, and the roomie has flown home. So here I am at the house with just the kittehs and Smokie, and will be all through the holidays (with the exception of Xmas). Whats weird? I dont care. My normal M.O. would be to get depressed, cry, feel lonley, etc. It isnt 2morow eve yet, so I cant guarantee this will last until then, but I actually think it will. I'm finding myself in a different place these days. Yesterday was a testament to how much I actually like where I work now. We had a huge holiday party - I guess they do this every year, and its the entire faculty/staff so there was like 400 people or something. Party went till noon and then everyone was pretty free to go home. Now - I still had about an hours worth of work to do. Normally when everyone is gone and I'm stuck still working, I'm furious and want to leave so bad and get angry, etc. Yesterday - I didnt. My boss was even saying "Woman go home!". I just had to make a quick deposit - its not like I was going to be there long, but I was ok with it! It was so bizzare! How fascinating is it to actually like where you work!!!!! (We wont discuss the downpour I got caught in whilst making said deposit). Having a job I dont despise has made quite a difference in my life. I'm hoping to hell Mitzy is right that now everything will start falling into place. The other day I thought to myself...2010 was not horrible, but a bit of a stumble. 2011 will be getting me geared up for an amazing 2012. I dont know why I feel this way but I do. I read a funny little article (in Cosmo no less) about the difference between women in thier 20's and women in thier 30's. It was spot on. I was cracking up. Maybe this is why I feel like things are changing in my life? Yes its a long slow change, but its still change. Who knew Cosmo would point that out so simply. Things are not perfect of course - my financial situation is still grim. The car fix, and the recent vet bill (Dont worry..kittehs are fine) knocked me back pretty hard. Of course the holidays always hurt as much as I try to budget. So thats a bit rough. I'm still single and not sure if I'm ok with it or not. I dont think I am since every guy who smiles or talks to me nicely I'm instantly picturing us in bed or dating or whatever. I also still curse at romantic movies and screech at whoever is with me what bullshit it is. Hmmmm ya...still need to work on that one. And of course still livin with Ma due to the financial hurdles. But - I'm working on it all. The training is starting to sort of pay off. My muscles have returned, I can fit in my pants and I'm noticably in better shape - but I have a long way to go. I'm learning patience people. I hate it but I'm learning it. Things are moving upward they really are - they're just taking a really really long time.
Anywhoo - Year End Blog comin soon I'm sure, I have some time off so I'll have a moment. So happy holidays to my readers! May your Christmas be lovely! I may be dancing around my house in my Xmas underwear drinking a bottle of wine and singing Xmas carols to myself and I'm totally looking foward to it!
Anyway - the holidays are here. Christmas Eve is 2morow! My plans of the day are still up in the air. This is the 1st year in who knows how long I have nothing to do. The holidays are a little tricky this year. Papa's health of course kept the question raised of where/what we would be doing with them. But he's doing ok, so it looks like Ma will be bringing them over here Xmas day for a while, then I'll be having dinner with dad later that night. Shane/D are on a plane to Ireland as I type. Ma is housesitting thier place, and the roomie has flown home. So here I am at the house with just the kittehs and Smokie, and will be all through the holidays (with the exception of Xmas). Whats weird? I dont care. My normal M.O. would be to get depressed, cry, feel lonley, etc. It isnt 2morow eve yet, so I cant guarantee this will last until then, but I actually think it will. I'm finding myself in a different place these days. Yesterday was a testament to how much I actually like where I work now. We had a huge holiday party - I guess they do this every year, and its the entire faculty/staff so there was like 400 people or something. Party went till noon and then everyone was pretty free to go home. Now - I still had about an hours worth of work to do. Normally when everyone is gone and I'm stuck still working, I'm furious and want to leave so bad and get angry, etc. Yesterday - I didnt. My boss was even saying "Woman go home!". I just had to make a quick deposit - its not like I was going to be there long, but I was ok with it! It was so bizzare! How fascinating is it to actually like where you work!!!!! (We wont discuss the downpour I got caught in whilst making said deposit). Having a job I dont despise has made quite a difference in my life. I'm hoping to hell Mitzy is right that now everything will start falling into place. The other day I thought to myself...2010 was not horrible, but a bit of a stumble. 2011 will be getting me geared up for an amazing 2012. I dont know why I feel this way but I do. I read a funny little article (in Cosmo no less) about the difference between women in thier 20's and women in thier 30's. It was spot on. I was cracking up. Maybe this is why I feel like things are changing in my life? Yes its a long slow change, but its still change. Who knew Cosmo would point that out so simply. Things are not perfect of course - my financial situation is still grim. The car fix, and the recent vet bill (Dont worry..kittehs are fine) knocked me back pretty hard. Of course the holidays always hurt as much as I try to budget. So thats a bit rough. I'm still single and not sure if I'm ok with it or not. I dont think I am since every guy who smiles or talks to me nicely I'm instantly picturing us in bed or dating or whatever. I also still curse at romantic movies and screech at whoever is with me what bullshit it is. Hmmmm ya...still need to work on that one. And of course still livin with Ma due to the financial hurdles. But - I'm working on it all. The training is starting to sort of pay off. My muscles have returned, I can fit in my pants and I'm noticably in better shape - but I have a long way to go. I'm learning patience people. I hate it but I'm learning it. Things are moving upward they really are - they're just taking a really really long time.
Anywhoo - Year End Blog comin soon I'm sure, I have some time off so I'll have a moment. So happy holidays to my readers! May your Christmas be lovely! I may be dancing around my house in my Xmas underwear drinking a bottle of wine and singing Xmas carols to myself and I'm totally looking foward to it!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanksgiving....
So its Thanksgiving of 2010.
First of all I cant believe this year has flown by. I suppose around this time of year we all say the same thing every year. During the year it creeps by, yet all of sudden here falls the beginning of the "Holiday" season. Holy shit. I'll look forward to writing my year in review blog later this year, because for the 1st time in a long time I'm pretty confident its actually going to have much more good things then bad. But today is Turkey Day. I feel I should protest the concept of the holiday, and it is a little morbid actually thinking of the all the turkeys you see and knowing they symbolize the day because we eat them later, and of course there is a part of me that will be like that....I'm a fucking hippie until the day I die - when someone starts preaching about how we stole the land from the indians and this holiday is a sham...I cant really argue and I cant help but feel a pang of guilt when I see the cartoon turkey holding up a sign that says eat chicken. But it does seem our Thanksgiving's our a little off "Tradition" anyway. Honestly, we dont all sit around a big table and say our prayers and say what we're thankful for. I dont know if any of us as ever really watched the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Its rarely just "Family" - there are always friends joining us. In fact mom misses the times we had more "orphans". (Sis in law has been doin it the past couple of years). But ours is special for sure. Its a time when the family does get together with friends mixed in and spend time together. We're a very close family anyway - this is not nessasarily unusual - but this time we get lots of food to go with it. Each year my bro and sis-in-law have had it at thier place they have come up with a new way to cook the poor bird. This year its some infer-red cooker thing. I'm a little wary, but there is always the ham too....
So honestly I dont know what my point to this blog is, other then the fact that I'm really looking foward to today (even tho the cold Santa Ana winds are here and my glands are swollen). I'm looking foward to eating to my hearts content, drinking plenty of the wine I bring (I'm booze gal...shocking I know) and hanging with the family and some friends. I'm sure some games will be broken out and a drunken Cranium or Taboo will happen but lots of laughter will be guaranteed I'm sure.
Hopefully Papa and Gramma can make it this year (the last 2 gramma's been sick, and this year as you know Papa is having a rough time at it). So fingers crossed.
So after all my usual useless rambling I do want to throw out some thank you shout outs:
I'm truly thankful and grateful that I am surrounded by such wonderful family and friends. I'm lucky to have a super close family who loves the shit out of each other. To my friends - your amazing. I've grown closer to some - you know who you are. I'm so lucky to not just have one best friend but to have multiple. This year those who have especially touched my heart: Lib - you'll always make me laugh and your fierce loyalness to friendship is extrodinary. T - I truly think we're fucking connected, thank you for always loving me and being right there by my side through the ups and the brutal downs. Mitzy - Your an inspiration. I strive to achieve the amazing things you have in life. Your encouragement is priceless. Mic - I'm so happy your back and our long conversations and ramblings I've missed. You've always loved me just for being me no matter what. There of course are so many more of you that have made an amazing difference in my life in ways you may not even be aware of and I thank you.
I'm thankful for the new job that pretty much landed in my lap. The enviroment is such a more positive one, my boss is amazing and I'm actually happy there. Its a trip! :)
I'm thankful that mom's impact on Papa has truly made a difference in his health, and I'm so happy to actually see a transformation like that. I believe that my mom's love has actually extended the life of one of the most important men in my life. She's got that kind of power people ;)
I'm thankful for my precious kitties (yes crazy cat lady rant). They love me so fiercely and are such mama's girls. They protect me, entertain me, love me and cuddle with me. Yes I'm so thankful for my furry children.
I'm thankful for my health. I'm alive. I've put my body through the ringer more often then I care to admit and I'm trying now to take better care of it. I'm thankful that I havent killed my dumb ass yet.
I'm of course thankful for the ocean, sushi, art, kickball, coffee, naps, sex, flowers, funny videos, sunsets, San Clemente, fairs, music, laughter, Halloween Time, and on and on and on.
And a big Thank You too all you people who actually read my random writings. Have a Happy Happy Thanksgiving!
First of all I cant believe this year has flown by. I suppose around this time of year we all say the same thing every year. During the year it creeps by, yet all of sudden here falls the beginning of the "Holiday" season. Holy shit. I'll look forward to writing my year in review blog later this year, because for the 1st time in a long time I'm pretty confident its actually going to have much more good things then bad. But today is Turkey Day. I feel I should protest the concept of the holiday, and it is a little morbid actually thinking of the all the turkeys you see and knowing they symbolize the day because we eat them later, and of course there is a part of me that will be like that....I'm a fucking hippie until the day I die - when someone starts preaching about how we stole the land from the indians and this holiday is a sham...I cant really argue and I cant help but feel a pang of guilt when I see the cartoon turkey holding up a sign that says eat chicken. But it does seem our Thanksgiving's our a little off "Tradition" anyway. Honestly, we dont all sit around a big table and say our prayers and say what we're thankful for. I dont know if any of us as ever really watched the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Its rarely just "Family" - there are always friends joining us. In fact mom misses the times we had more "orphans". (Sis in law has been doin it the past couple of years). But ours is special for sure. Its a time when the family does get together with friends mixed in and spend time together. We're a very close family anyway - this is not nessasarily unusual - but this time we get lots of food to go with it. Each year my bro and sis-in-law have had it at thier place they have come up with a new way to cook the poor bird. This year its some infer-red cooker thing. I'm a little wary, but there is always the ham too....
So honestly I dont know what my point to this blog is, other then the fact that I'm really looking foward to today (even tho the cold Santa Ana winds are here and my glands are swollen). I'm looking foward to eating to my hearts content, drinking plenty of the wine I bring (I'm booze gal...shocking I know) and hanging with the family and some friends. I'm sure some games will be broken out and a drunken Cranium or Taboo will happen but lots of laughter will be guaranteed I'm sure.
Hopefully Papa and Gramma can make it this year (the last 2 gramma's been sick, and this year as you know Papa is having a rough time at it). So fingers crossed.
So after all my usual useless rambling I do want to throw out some thank you shout outs:
I'm truly thankful and grateful that I am surrounded by such wonderful family and friends. I'm lucky to have a super close family who loves the shit out of each other. To my friends - your amazing. I've grown closer to some - you know who you are. I'm so lucky to not just have one best friend but to have multiple. This year those who have especially touched my heart: Lib - you'll always make me laugh and your fierce loyalness to friendship is extrodinary. T - I truly think we're fucking connected, thank you for always loving me and being right there by my side through the ups and the brutal downs. Mitzy - Your an inspiration. I strive to achieve the amazing things you have in life. Your encouragement is priceless. Mic - I'm so happy your back and our long conversations and ramblings I've missed. You've always loved me just for being me no matter what. There of course are so many more of you that have made an amazing difference in my life in ways you may not even be aware of and I thank you.
I'm thankful for the new job that pretty much landed in my lap. The enviroment is such a more positive one, my boss is amazing and I'm actually happy there. Its a trip! :)
I'm thankful that mom's impact on Papa has truly made a difference in his health, and I'm so happy to actually see a transformation like that. I believe that my mom's love has actually extended the life of one of the most important men in my life. She's got that kind of power people ;)
I'm thankful for my precious kitties (yes crazy cat lady rant). They love me so fiercely and are such mama's girls. They protect me, entertain me, love me and cuddle with me. Yes I'm so thankful for my furry children.
I'm thankful for my health. I'm alive. I've put my body through the ringer more often then I care to admit and I'm trying now to take better care of it. I'm thankful that I havent killed my dumb ass yet.
I'm of course thankful for the ocean, sushi, art, kickball, coffee, naps, sex, flowers, funny videos, sunsets, San Clemente, fairs, music, laughter, Halloween Time, and on and on and on.
And a big Thank You too all you people who actually read my random writings. Have a Happy Happy Thanksgiving!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Entertaining night out...
So, T invites me out due to the fact that I have a bit of an over crowded situation at my house right now. We decide to hit Lazy Dog or Old Irisher. Dog being to crowded as usual we land at Irisher (corn beef on my mind...). After 10 minutes of wondering if we were invisible because no one seem to want to serve us, we pretty much tackled a waitress to get some attention. A Lucy Liu look-a-like came and apologized profusley and became our girl. We happily ordered our drinks and cornbeef. T the tacos, me the sliders. OMG SO GOOD!!!!! Thats right. I said OMG. We chatted, caught up, our usual lovely convo and eventually ended up outside in the cold Santa Ana winds to finish our drinks & smoke (ya. epic fail on the quitting..not giving up yet tho) Not long did a lil drunk girl named Sonja become our bestie. She introduced us to a new word "Slutskin" (dressing skimpy but your not cold because your dressed like a whore as she so proudly displayed). We laughed and smiled, trying to be patient through the talk of her break up, etc. (We've all been there - admit it). Her friend joins us and in the span of maybe 30 seconds - Sonja bends over to show T the tattoo on her ass of her friends (who just joined us) lips. Dress overhead - ass in T's face, a huge gust of wind proceeds to push my 1/2 full wine glass and billfold across the table towards me. I try to grab them both (picture a slow motion chaos ensueing) and miss the glass as it then shatters at my feet. And I mean SHATTERED. Sonja, dress overhead, shrieks "I didnt do it!" and her friend grabs her arm "We HAVE to go!" and they take off running. T is staring at me in shock and awe at what just occurred. We then find ourselves under the table trying to pick up the ridiculous amount of shattered glass while I'm heartbroken I just lost the remainder of my very yummy wine. THE WIND PUSHED MY GLASS ACROSS THE TABLE! It wasnt on the edge or a corner, it was in the middle of the table! WTF. T and I burst into fits of laughter at the ridiculous turn of events that just happened in less then a minute. T takes in my glass to explain the situation. Lucy Liu appears a few moments later with a full glass of wine on the house due to my tragedy & we laugh again. I state I must write a mini blog. Sonja returns a few more times throughout the evening loveing our young looks and cool demeanor (according to her) and this night goes into the books as yet another entertaining random Team TJ adventure.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
David Sedaris...
I met him Wednesday night.
David Sedaris is one of my favorite authors. I picked up his book Naked, after reading some excerps from Holiday's on Ice. I fell in love. Here was a guy who writes about the mudane turning into glorious humor, or taking life's bullshit and turning it around to make you laugh out loud. It's my style. I love when someone can take some crappy experiences and turn them into humor. He inspires the way I write. I hope that all my trials and tribulations have been at least amusing. I found sometimes when I would bitch or vent about something people would be laughing in response. I loved this. I loooooove to make people laugh.
My 2nd or 3rd day at Chapman University - my new boss was showing me how to use the "My Window" feature we have and I saw that he was coming to do a reading and book signing in October - I flipped out. Just a little. I immediatly purchased my ticket and eagerly awaited the day to come when I could meet one of my favorite authors. I've never been to a book reading/signing so I was excited for this new experience. As the day arrived, and musical tickets ensued now that I've made a few friends at work - my office mate and I had dinner (I introduced him to Saki - he's now obssessed) and we arrived an hour early. I had heard he was going to do some signings before the show and I wanted to make sure I got my book signed. I was 3rd in line.
Around 7:30 he arrived and I stood nervously clutching Naked. He was shorter then I thought and a little older looking. I had chosen Naked since it was my favorite and 1st book of his I ever read. When it was my turn I walked up to the table like an excited little teenager. "Hi!!!" I think I actually shouted. "Its a real pleasure to meet you!" He looked up at me and smiled. "Hi there, would you like a peanut?" He had just poured a pile of peanuts onto the table to munch on while signing books. "Um...sure!" I took a peanut and started crunching away as he began to draw in my book. "A penguin maybe?" he said, then put To Jami and signed his name under the bird. We talked a little more about peanuts and I shook his hand and thanked him probably a little too much.
I promplty walked over to the stand where they were selling his latest book (The only one I havent read) and I bought it.
A bit after 8pm we sat in the small hall as James Doti (Our Chapman Prez) introduced David. He came out and started chatting to the audience, read a story about a rabbit from his new book, played some audio from his books on tape and proceed to tell some very rauncy jokes. I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face, my mouth and my cheeks ached. I think one of my favorite moments was when he talked about how Hugh (his partner) and he had thier little chores they did around the house. Hugh would replace the dry wall while he would dress bees up in tiny suits of armour made out of tin foil. He also turned a bit about a pronuciation of Nicuragua into a 10 minute speel. He was amazing. He was funny, he was charming, he was real, he was exactly like he writes.
I dont know if I'll ever go anywhere with my writing, but I have to say he's a huge influence on my and I was so happy I got to see him live and meet him in person.
I do apologize tho, I will never be loaning out Naked. :)
David Sedaris is one of my favorite authors. I picked up his book Naked, after reading some excerps from Holiday's on Ice. I fell in love. Here was a guy who writes about the mudane turning into glorious humor, or taking life's bullshit and turning it around to make you laugh out loud. It's my style. I love when someone can take some crappy experiences and turn them into humor. He inspires the way I write. I hope that all my trials and tribulations have been at least amusing. I found sometimes when I would bitch or vent about something people would be laughing in response. I loved this. I loooooove to make people laugh.
My 2nd or 3rd day at Chapman University - my new boss was showing me how to use the "My Window" feature we have and I saw that he was coming to do a reading and book signing in October - I flipped out. Just a little. I immediatly purchased my ticket and eagerly awaited the day to come when I could meet one of my favorite authors. I've never been to a book reading/signing so I was excited for this new experience. As the day arrived, and musical tickets ensued now that I've made a few friends at work - my office mate and I had dinner (I introduced him to Saki - he's now obssessed) and we arrived an hour early. I had heard he was going to do some signings before the show and I wanted to make sure I got my book signed. I was 3rd in line.
Around 7:30 he arrived and I stood nervously clutching Naked. He was shorter then I thought and a little older looking. I had chosen Naked since it was my favorite and 1st book of his I ever read. When it was my turn I walked up to the table like an excited little teenager. "Hi!!!" I think I actually shouted. "Its a real pleasure to meet you!" He looked up at me and smiled. "Hi there, would you like a peanut?" He had just poured a pile of peanuts onto the table to munch on while signing books. "Um...sure!" I took a peanut and started crunching away as he began to draw in my book. "A penguin maybe?" he said, then put To Jami and signed his name under the bird. We talked a little more about peanuts and I shook his hand and thanked him probably a little too much.
I promplty walked over to the stand where they were selling his latest book (The only one I havent read) and I bought it.
A bit after 8pm we sat in the small hall as James Doti (Our Chapman Prez) introduced David. He came out and started chatting to the audience, read a story about a rabbit from his new book, played some audio from his books on tape and proceed to tell some very rauncy jokes. I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face, my mouth and my cheeks ached. I think one of my favorite moments was when he talked about how Hugh (his partner) and he had thier little chores they did around the house. Hugh would replace the dry wall while he would dress bees up in tiny suits of armour made out of tin foil. He also turned a bit about a pronuciation of Nicuragua into a 10 minute speel. He was amazing. He was funny, he was charming, he was real, he was exactly like he writes.
I dont know if I'll ever go anywhere with my writing, but I have to say he's a huge influence on my and I was so happy I got to see him live and meet him in person.
I do apologize tho, I will never be loaning out Naked. :)
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Here we go again...
I'm getting restless.
Part of it is because I'm sick. Ya, you get stuck at home, hacking up a lung and feeling like your head is full of cotton tends to grate your nerves. But I was getting restless before this damn flu settled into my body. I havent done a creative project in a very long time - this has to change. I'm sure thats part of it. Actually I'm sure thats a big part of it. I've been on this crazy kick of getting organized that I think I've let my creative needs fall by the way side. Of course life has its way of making some creative decisions a little difficult - New job, takin care of Papa, cutting back on funds, etc etc. Not that I'm complaining by any means - but I think I've forgotten how much I need creativity in my life.
I have a hefty set of goals I'm trying to accomplish at the moment, and I may be over doing it a bit. The smoking thing was obviously an epic fail - BUT - I havent gone back to smoking as much as I did. In fact, probably less then half of what I did before - which is good. I never did that before. Plus I've felt like a complete jackass and a failure - so that overwhelming guilt is helping. Being sick at the moment a cigarette is the last thing on my mind, so we're trying again. A friend of mine "cut back" smoking then got sick and quit. I'm figuring maybe that will get me over the little hump to actually officially become a non-smoker.
This new job is a big deal too. The job itself is not glamorous, but its such a great place to work. My boss is fantastic, my office mate is a kick and most of the people are pretty cool. I feel at home there. Its a trip. This is the 1st step to things falling into place for me I believe. I have been miserable for so long at my last couple of jobs and here this one lands in my lap. I feel so lucky and hope to turn this into something amazing.
The new job will also be bringing back my education. I've been dying to go back to school and although I'll have to take a few math classes before I can completely enroll (insert major freak out here) that will be coming in the near future.
I'm also excersising. I actually really missed not going yesterday (due to death flu). Me!! Missed excersising!!!! Thats a 1st! I'm not noticing results as fast as I'd prefer, but when was I ever one for patience? I was also feeling more motivated to start walking again, and doing something active on the days I dont work out with the trainer - stupid flu knocked that back for a bit, but once that fucker clears out - I actually am finding myself almost wanting to be more active. I sure hope that sticks. Luckily my body is getting used to the beating now. I still get sore as hell, but I'm not curling up in a fetal position crying for my mother like before. I've also been hearing alot about this P90X thing. In fact just read a blog about it that a friend posted. I'm tempted....although an hour a day for 90 days straight....damn. But its a possibility. I know the sis-in-law wants to do it because someone told her she cant...that actually may be entertaining to hop on that train.
The debt is still looming. I did the money move to cover my car repairs and wanted to cry. For the 1st time in so long I was actually starting to see the debt go down. It was such an amazing feeling. Watching it go right back up was like a knife to the heart. Damn. That really did hurt. But - back to square 1. Well not totally square 1, but it was a doozy.
I'm really really scared for my Papa. He's declining so fast and its ripping me apart. Mom is taking care of them full time now which I think is so good. He wants to buy a bidet. I think thats amazing. I believe mom ordered one today.
I'm lonley. I'm not gonna lie. Its been so long since I've felt the warmth of a mans embrace. I'm scared I'm going to forget what its like. Forget how to feel safe in someone's arms. Forget how to love. I dont know. This is a hard one. So we'll move on...
Anywhoo - I dont know if I'm trying to fix too many things right now, I dont know if I'm on the right path, I do know I've got to get some creativity back in my game, I do know I really do want to stay on this path as overwhelming as it is...hell I want to keep piling on more. I guess thats not a bad thing - I've always been an extremist right?
I feel pretty good focusing a bit more on me. Now if I could just kick this godamn flu....
Part of it is because I'm sick. Ya, you get stuck at home, hacking up a lung and feeling like your head is full of cotton tends to grate your nerves. But I was getting restless before this damn flu settled into my body. I havent done a creative project in a very long time - this has to change. I'm sure thats part of it. Actually I'm sure thats a big part of it. I've been on this crazy kick of getting organized that I think I've let my creative needs fall by the way side. Of course life has its way of making some creative decisions a little difficult - New job, takin care of Papa, cutting back on funds, etc etc. Not that I'm complaining by any means - but I think I've forgotten how much I need creativity in my life.
I have a hefty set of goals I'm trying to accomplish at the moment, and I may be over doing it a bit. The smoking thing was obviously an epic fail - BUT - I havent gone back to smoking as much as I did. In fact, probably less then half of what I did before - which is good. I never did that before. Plus I've felt like a complete jackass and a failure - so that overwhelming guilt is helping. Being sick at the moment a cigarette is the last thing on my mind, so we're trying again. A friend of mine "cut back" smoking then got sick and quit. I'm figuring maybe that will get me over the little hump to actually officially become a non-smoker.
This new job is a big deal too. The job itself is not glamorous, but its such a great place to work. My boss is fantastic, my office mate is a kick and most of the people are pretty cool. I feel at home there. Its a trip. This is the 1st step to things falling into place for me I believe. I have been miserable for so long at my last couple of jobs and here this one lands in my lap. I feel so lucky and hope to turn this into something amazing.
The new job will also be bringing back my education. I've been dying to go back to school and although I'll have to take a few math classes before I can completely enroll (insert major freak out here) that will be coming in the near future.
I'm also excersising. I actually really missed not going yesterday (due to death flu). Me!! Missed excersising!!!! Thats a 1st! I'm not noticing results as fast as I'd prefer, but when was I ever one for patience? I was also feeling more motivated to start walking again, and doing something active on the days I dont work out with the trainer - stupid flu knocked that back for a bit, but once that fucker clears out - I actually am finding myself almost wanting to be more active. I sure hope that sticks. Luckily my body is getting used to the beating now. I still get sore as hell, but I'm not curling up in a fetal position crying for my mother like before. I've also been hearing alot about this P90X thing. In fact just read a blog about it that a friend posted. I'm tempted....although an hour a day for 90 days straight....damn. But its a possibility. I know the sis-in-law wants to do it because someone told her she cant...that actually may be entertaining to hop on that train.
The debt is still looming. I did the money move to cover my car repairs and wanted to cry. For the 1st time in so long I was actually starting to see the debt go down. It was such an amazing feeling. Watching it go right back up was like a knife to the heart. Damn. That really did hurt. But - back to square 1. Well not totally square 1, but it was a doozy.
I'm really really scared for my Papa. He's declining so fast and its ripping me apart. Mom is taking care of them full time now which I think is so good. He wants to buy a bidet. I think thats amazing. I believe mom ordered one today.
I'm lonley. I'm not gonna lie. Its been so long since I've felt the warmth of a mans embrace. I'm scared I'm going to forget what its like. Forget how to feel safe in someone's arms. Forget how to love. I dont know. This is a hard one. So we'll move on...
Anywhoo - I dont know if I'm trying to fix too many things right now, I dont know if I'm on the right path, I do know I've got to get some creativity back in my game, I do know I really do want to stay on this path as overwhelming as it is...hell I want to keep piling on more. I guess thats not a bad thing - I've always been an extremist right?
I feel pretty good focusing a bit more on me. Now if I could just kick this godamn flu....
Sunday, October 10, 2010
San Clemente...
San Clemente means so many different things to me. It's the place I think I'm meant to bee - maybe I'll retire here - Someday - I'm not sure.
I was concieved here, yes...I know that, it maybe be odd but I do. At San Clemente State Beach on a rainy night in a little tent trailer I was created. My mom has been camping here for 45 years or so. Grandma & Papa used to camp w/mom and her sister. Here I come along and mom and dad continued the tradition. We camped here when I was a child up into my adulthood. I brought friends and boyfriends and even the ex husband. My ex-douche & I were married at Casa Romantica - so perfect as the city means so much to me. Although the marriage fell to pieces the wedding day was perfection, ending with red tide at Casa Tropicana in a jacuzzi with a bottle of wine gazing out into the ocean. As age dealt its bitter hand to grandma & papa - they & mom purchased a time share right above the pier. We have come down a week a year ever since. Mom & I always, sometimes together, sometimes alone. Grandma & Papa always down for a day or two or three. This is the 1st year they couldnt come down. Mom stayed the week with her friend and I joined for Sat into Sunday. Due to the new job, that was all the time I could do this year.
As I sit on our balcony listening to the waves crash on the shore drinking a glass of one of my favorite reds my mind wanders. Many friends have come down in the years past and boyfriends too, getting a taste of my true peace. I dont know what it is about it but I love it here. I love to hear the ocean and go to sleep with the sound of its power filling my ears as I drift off. I love to have my oysters at Fisherman's Wharf. I love to drink my wine all night on the balcony. I love to watch the sun set into the vast ocean filling the sky with pinks and oranges. This is where I get away. Where I escape. Where (and probably the only time) I can relax. I hope someday to share this with the love of my life. I yearn for that, I do. I think of friends who I have lost, who have fallen out of my life and how much I think they would love this. It hurts my heart. I think of my friends I've shared long conversations with out here and I smile. I'm so thankful for those who love me. The ocean crashes. The sea calms me. I'm ok. I know that someday I will find that peace, that happiness that I long for, that I get a taste of in moments like these. I have a very strong feeling that some how San Clemente will play a huge part in that. Because it makes me happy. I could sit on this balcony all night long. God do I love to hear the song of the ocean. My home. My love My peace.
Friday, October 1, 2010
My body is PISSED...
I've started working out again. I mean crazy-like. I mean Personal Trainer.
Now, those of you who know me, know I'm not some un active slob. I used to be crazy fit! Remember back in the day when I worked out hardcore, had a body like Linda Hamilton from T2, was in awesome shape...oh and did I mention I was lik 19-21.
Ya. I'm 34 now. Things are different.
I've always tried to stay active, took morning walks along the Back Bay when I lived in Costa Mesa, hot yoga, kickball, biking. Well since I moved back to Orange finances and location have been against me. Its boring to walk around my neighborhood so my walks have become less. I have that gargantuin hill so biking is a bit more of a chore and finances has not allowed me to yoga it up as much as I used too. I tried doing DVD's at home but that takes motivation and will power which at the moment I somewhat lack...have I mentioned I havent quit smoking yet?
So my bestie was the one who used to be crazy fit bitch like me years back and her bro is now a personal trainer - so - we decided to do it. He's cutting us a sweet sister deal and we're going 2 or 3 times a week.
I'm thinking to myself - cool - I'll lose some weight, get back in shape, wont be too hard...I mean I'm not TOTALLY out of shape right?
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Day 1:
He has us switch off, so when one of us is killing ourselves on one death device, the other is doing the same on another - then we switch - then we switch - then we switch. HOW MANY F-ING REPS DO WE DO??!! We dont stop, he yells the whole time "GO GO GO!" "Faster!!!!" Then he puts me on this crazy sit up contraption. I think an ailien crawled into my stomach and ripped my muscles apart. Good lord. My bestie is bright read and I'm wheezing like a dying fish.
The next day I was sore. Very sore. The 2nd day I couldnt walk. I mean literally. If I sat down for more then 2 minutes my body got pissed and I couldnt get up. WTF.
Day 2:
A few days later. "Are you sore" he asks? "Actually I think my muscles fell out of my body" I respond. "Do you notice I'm walking like I have a stick up my ass". He laughs. "We're doing upper body today"
Ok, I think. I have a really strong upper body. This wont be nearly as bad.
WRONG AGAIN.
I'm not wheezing as much, but I'm stumbling around like I'm drunk. My muscles have pretty much just said fuck off we're done. I'm now on the bicycle looking around at the people around me that I swear are laughing and thinking "Look at that sad little blonde girl who thinks she can keep up with us".
The next few days consist of not sleeping because I'm in so much pain, I cant lift my arms, I cant walk and I still AS I WRITE THIS BLOG cant stretch without my stomach screaming. I think its broken! I really do!!! Can you break a stomach????
Before my 3rd day is our 1st kickball game. Oh god.
I arrive trying to lift my arms and stretch to no avail. The team is wondering if I got in a massive fight and got my ass kicked. Sort of. I stretch ALOT, trying to loosen up for the game. When I try to catch the ball it feels like bolts of fire are shooting through my arms. I can do this. I actually kick and make it to 1st. I'm not happy about this because now I have to actually keep running. I make it home only tripping twice. Wheezing again. Seriously. What is wrong with me? I ride home with my sis in law who constantly asks if I'm ok. She's worried. She's not used to me like this. Ya me eithier. Did I mention the creature that ate my stomach muscles?
Day 3:
This is the other night. I come in angry and cursing the joint as I walk in. I climb ont the treadmill since I'm early and start in. After a good trip and looking like a drunk nimrod, I get my pace going.
Here comes the Devil. "Ready??!"
I'm starting to wonder if he's actually doing his job or just taking his revenge out on me and the bestie from childhood past.
"Push this weight across the floor"
I look down at a 45 pound weight that you usually put on a machine. That cant be too hard I think.
WRONG A FUCKING GAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's yelling, I'm sweating trying not to puke.
Bestie is worse off then me.
OH MY DEAR GOD. I THINK I MIGHT DIE.
As I'm starting to write my will in my head, he asks me why I'm so mad.
Um duh!!!!!
He actually turns nice for a split second and says "Jami, this is hard. What your doing is hard. Most people die after 10 minutes - your making it through the whole session. I promise in a month you wont be in this much pain"
I smile. I hope he's right.
I'm now going to sign off as its hurting to hold my arms up to the keyboard to type this damn blog.
But I'm doing it. I rule.
Wish me luck people!
Now, those of you who know me, know I'm not some un active slob. I used to be crazy fit! Remember back in the day when I worked out hardcore, had a body like Linda Hamilton from T2, was in awesome shape...oh and did I mention I was lik 19-21.
Ya. I'm 34 now. Things are different.
I've always tried to stay active, took morning walks along the Back Bay when I lived in Costa Mesa, hot yoga, kickball, biking. Well since I moved back to Orange finances and location have been against me. Its boring to walk around my neighborhood so my walks have become less. I have that gargantuin hill so biking is a bit more of a chore and finances has not allowed me to yoga it up as much as I used too. I tried doing DVD's at home but that takes motivation and will power which at the moment I somewhat lack...have I mentioned I havent quit smoking yet?
So my bestie was the one who used to be crazy fit bitch like me years back and her bro is now a personal trainer - so - we decided to do it. He's cutting us a sweet sister deal and we're going 2 or 3 times a week.
I'm thinking to myself - cool - I'll lose some weight, get back in shape, wont be too hard...I mean I'm not TOTALLY out of shape right?
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Day 1:
He has us switch off, so when one of us is killing ourselves on one death device, the other is doing the same on another - then we switch - then we switch - then we switch. HOW MANY F-ING REPS DO WE DO??!! We dont stop, he yells the whole time "GO GO GO!" "Faster!!!!" Then he puts me on this crazy sit up contraption. I think an ailien crawled into my stomach and ripped my muscles apart. Good lord. My bestie is bright read and I'm wheezing like a dying fish.
The next day I was sore. Very sore. The 2nd day I couldnt walk. I mean literally. If I sat down for more then 2 minutes my body got pissed and I couldnt get up. WTF.
Day 2:
A few days later. "Are you sore" he asks? "Actually I think my muscles fell out of my body" I respond. "Do you notice I'm walking like I have a stick up my ass". He laughs. "We're doing upper body today"
Ok, I think. I have a really strong upper body. This wont be nearly as bad.
WRONG AGAIN.
I'm not wheezing as much, but I'm stumbling around like I'm drunk. My muscles have pretty much just said fuck off we're done. I'm now on the bicycle looking around at the people around me that I swear are laughing and thinking "Look at that sad little blonde girl who thinks she can keep up with us".
The next few days consist of not sleeping because I'm in so much pain, I cant lift my arms, I cant walk and I still AS I WRITE THIS BLOG cant stretch without my stomach screaming. I think its broken! I really do!!! Can you break a stomach????
Before my 3rd day is our 1st kickball game. Oh god.
I arrive trying to lift my arms and stretch to no avail. The team is wondering if I got in a massive fight and got my ass kicked. Sort of. I stretch ALOT, trying to loosen up for the game. When I try to catch the ball it feels like bolts of fire are shooting through my arms. I can do this. I actually kick and make it to 1st. I'm not happy about this because now I have to actually keep running. I make it home only tripping twice. Wheezing again. Seriously. What is wrong with me? I ride home with my sis in law who constantly asks if I'm ok. She's worried. She's not used to me like this. Ya me eithier. Did I mention the creature that ate my stomach muscles?
Day 3:
This is the other night. I come in angry and cursing the joint as I walk in. I climb ont the treadmill since I'm early and start in. After a good trip and looking like a drunk nimrod, I get my pace going.
Here comes the Devil. "Ready??!"
I'm starting to wonder if he's actually doing his job or just taking his revenge out on me and the bestie from childhood past.
"Push this weight across the floor"
I look down at a 45 pound weight that you usually put on a machine. That cant be too hard I think.
WRONG A FUCKING GAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's yelling, I'm sweating trying not to puke.
Bestie is worse off then me.
OH MY DEAR GOD. I THINK I MIGHT DIE.
As I'm starting to write my will in my head, he asks me why I'm so mad.
Um duh!!!!!
He actually turns nice for a split second and says "Jami, this is hard. What your doing is hard. Most people die after 10 minutes - your making it through the whole session. I promise in a month you wont be in this much pain"
I smile. I hope he's right.
I'm now going to sign off as its hurting to hold my arms up to the keyboard to type this damn blog.
But I'm doing it. I rule.
Wish me luck people!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Muse and other music thoughts...
Lets start with Muse.
I SAW THEM THURSDAY NIGHT!!!!!!
Muse is a band I saw at Coachella this year. Those readers of mine know it was my highlight of the the weekend. Its rare when I watch a live show that I'm brought to tears, joy and passion all in the same sitting. Muse does this to me.
I heard they were coming to Honda Center, but due to finances and honestly my lack at purchasing anything online they promptly sold out. This didnt stop T from finding a way to get us tickets through pretty much her genuine love of me. 2 other friends of ours had tix as well on the other side of the venue. We all arrived at my house, drank, chatted and laughed and headed out. We parked down the street a bit and trekked over to Honda Center. Passion Pit was opening and this was a fave of T's so we took a quick pic of us 4 then shot off in our different directions. When T and I got to our seats we flipped. We were so close!!!!!!!!!!!! 6 rows up from the floor - off to the side a smidge - perfect. They were right there!!!!!! Passion Pit was lovely, we scooted out to get booze, food and merchandise. Back to our seats for Muse. "Kate Hudson!" T shouts pointing - there she is, with a little posse making a bee line for the tech booth area on the floor. Lucky bitch is banging the singer for Muse. The concert begins. 3 towers covered in a material with images of people walking then falling...very 9/11-esk. BAM - they drop and the powerhouse concert begins. The band was on key, sounded brillant, excellant show. The towers went up and down. They had random images throughout the set. When he played the piano with the war like images in the background I almost lost it. Green laser lights shot out into the crowd making for an acid head's dream. They were amazing.
Music is an interesting thing. There are certain bands/songs/lyrics that hit your heart and your soul like nothing else. Certain songs or albums that happen right at a pivotal point in your life and they stick with you forever. A live performance that is so fucking awesome you never forget it. Music constantly amazes me. The depth of it, the talent of it, the sheer magnitude of how it can affect your life.
I have a huge range of music I like - I'm certainly not stuck on one type or one genre. I love blues, funk, rock, alternative, jam bands, heavy metal, hip hop, jazz, classical. Country and pop I'm not as keen on. But there are still a few gems in those genre's I like.
Live music is another beast - I've been disappointed in the past when I fall in love with a band and then I see them perform live and they dont live up. I want to see you tear it up on your album and on that stage. I'm not asking for too much because I've seen it. Some of my all time favorite bands to see live are: Tower of Power, Gogol Bordello, Grateful Dead, Muse, Pink Floyd, Blind Boys of Alabama, BB King, DJ Z-trip and many others. And all for different reasons! Music is so vast. So much. So amazing. I cannot understand how there are people in this world that dont have music in thier life at all. How do they live???
I love getting blown away by bands I'm not familiar with. Alot of my friends will bring me along to concerts or festivals where I have no idea who the people are we're going to see - and BAM - I'm slapped in the face with some brilliant music.
Johnny Lang...friggin kid!!!! Sang the blues like nothing I've ever heard. Mad Marionettes - a local band of kids that play at Bistro sometimes....so unusual and so fun to watch. I could go on and on and on about shows I've seen and fallen in love with.
There was a fun little thing that went around on FB recently - something about listing 15 albums in 15 minutes that somehow affected your life in whatever way. You werent to think just list them as fast as you could. Mine are below - and it was fascinating to look back at what I threw out there and there's something about each album that touched me for a very different reason. What albums obviously stuck in my mind like that.
Music.
Its amazing.
Plain and simple.
Grateful Dead - American Beauty
Pink Floyd - The Wall
Blink 182 - Self Titled
Tower of Power - Monster on a Leash
Beatles - Abbey Road
B.B. King - Gold
Metallica - And Justice for All
Muse - The Resistance
Green Day - American Idiot
Earth, Wind & Fire - Faces
Gogol Bordello - Gyspy Punks Underdog World Strike
Bob Marley - Exodus
Motley Crue - Theater of Pain
Billy Holiday - Blues Legends
My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade
Monday, September 6, 2010
Labor Day Weekend...
Was a good one!
Started off Friday night with T rollin my exhausted ass into Long Beach to see my friends band play at Clancy's. Its a 2 person band that pretty much makes songs up on the spot. They were a kick! T and I were also joined by 2 very colorful gentleman in thier 50's maybe? That proceeded to ramble on repeating themselves (drunk or just way out of it?) about art, soldier field, baseball and others. Oh - and apparently one of them bought a victrola from the other. Ok.
Saturday was the 1st Street Fair Day. We all met up at the lil bro's house who was in town for the weekend (He needs to be home and not work up north because I'm selfish and want him here). Anywhoo - Dad, me, T, bro, D, and Sutherland all met up with our bikes ready to roll. After a few drinks (Yes its a holiday, we're allowed to drink before 11am) we biked over to the Fair and arrived around 11:30. El Buen Taco as usual was our first stop. After some yummy tacos, beer (Yes I had a beer!!) and visiting with the Sumi's and some other friends we wandered on to Swedish Street and stuffed our faces with Abelskevers. Not before I purchased a large bag of Kettle Korn. We then rolled over to our favorite spot at Rod's Liquor where the booze is cheaper and they have much more variety instead of just beer. We never left. I guzzled Mike's Hard Lemonades while the rest guzzled beers. We munched on Gyros and yummy greek pastry someone shoved in my mouth. Miss Cumby joined us and we saw a few friends come and go. Great convo with many peeps then the heat started bearin down. Off we go. We stopped and grabbed some beef teriyaki sticks that were AMAZING and stumbled back to our bikes. Off we go. Back to bros. Court joined us, dad left and a very entertaining game of Cranium began. This was then followed by Taboo. The highlights of the evening were bro's charade of "Baywatch", D's charade of "Who let the dogs out" and learning that Miss Cumby is the goddess of Taboo.
Sunday started off mellow. Chillin poolside at lil bros, drinkin and laughing. We finally roll out bike style. This time its just Me, bro, D and Court. We catch American Wake's 1st set which of course is AMAZING. We all love them so very much. A Symphony co-hort whom I've developed a friendship with joins us as well as my girl Robin. We watch the whole set, bouncing and laughing and loving it. Off we head. The only bummer of the day is we run into dude who stomped on my heart earlier this year with his chickie. I played if off well - I'm an actress you know - and with the support and good moves of bro and Robin we moved on. I said hello to my new boss at the Chapman booth and we headed down Swedish Street. Bro said hi to the O's crew while Robin and I fended off a very drunk strange girl and we promptly hit up Rod's again, where we again - stayed. Its perfect - its just off the street so its not crowded, the booze is cheap and people come to you. We had a huge amount of friends come and go - our neighbors, Ber and KT, lots of bro's friends and many many more. I scarfed down a pulled pork sandwich and a backlava and chose champagne for the drink of choice that eve. We would have stayed longer but low and behold it was actually f-ing cold! We stood it as long as we could and rolled out around 8:30 listening to the Wake as we rode our bikes past. It was a little rough comin home - it was ass cold, I was the only bike with a light and we had to be very careful with the bunches of people and cars hoping no one was driving drunk. We got home unscathed after a stop at the store to refuel our drink supply and chilled once again at bro's. Much more of a mellow night involving Wenerscnetzel and good convo. I crashed hard that night.
Today was a day of running around - getting ready for the week. Uploaded pics, had lunch with T, bought biz attire for the new job, and ran a few other errands. The roomie popped open a good bottle of pinot and we hit the hot tub. I jacked my foot up again, hoping it will heal before I start personal training (Oh did I mention I'm doing that - Keep you posted) and here I type.
All in all - great weekend, lots of food which I'm starting to pay for and as always - great fuzzy fun Labor Day memories made!
Back to the real world.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Update...
I feel I can officially say it now...even though most of you probably already know...
I HAVE A NEW JOB!
Today was my last day at Pacific Symphony. With a cupcake send off I was out the door. I've been working both jobs this week, but tommorow is my 1st offical day as a full time Chapman University employee!!! I'm really really really hoping this will be a good opportunity for me. I'm hoping to GAWD its what I've been hoping for. So far it seems to be. Its close - I'm hopefully going to actually start riding my bike to work which would be AWESOME. After working there for 6 months I can start going to school there for pretty much free. Bennies are good. I'm getting paid a tiny bit more. And already I feel more welcome then I've ever felt at a new job. You should see the email my new boss sent out announcing my arrival. I felt like a star. I really do think this will be a really good thing for me!
I'm not gonna lie...smoking these past 2 weeks have been bad. Not that its an excuse but this has been the a couple of the knarliest couple of weeks. Dont fret - I'm not back to the full blown smoker I was, but I have been cheating way too much. With Street Fair and lil bro in town this weekend I'm probably going to be very very bad. BUT - Next week is a new week. I'll be at my new job, I'm hopefully going to be doing alot more active crap by biking my fat ass too work, I need to diet and I need to cut out those cheats completely and officially be a non-smoker. It'll happen. Just takin a bit longer then I care to admit.
Not all is perfect of course. Papa is still a major concern. I worry more and more about him each day. I still need to replace my cadalitic converter on my truck and finances of course are always looming.
But dammmit I think I've got some good comin my way. FINALLY.
I couldnt get into OCC - classes were full. I seriously think this is a sign. This job couldnt have come at a more critical time. I'm wanting to go back to school, and here it is. Plopped in my lap.
I'm of course terrified because its a whole new system and I have ALOT to learn and you all know me...I want to excel at everything right now. So patience has to come into play and I have to learn the new job and suck it up that I'll be a bit slow at first, but I really think it'll be awesome.
I'm also starting up kickball again - quite excited about that!
Street Fair is this weekend, so let the drunken, gluttony fest begin. Well Saturday anyway. As for tonite - I should be in bed.
So that is all at this point folks. Just taking shit day by day and hoping to hell things will start looking on the up and up.
I'm feeling good.
Holy Hell.....
I HAVE A NEW JOB!
Today was my last day at Pacific Symphony. With a cupcake send off I was out the door. I've been working both jobs this week, but tommorow is my 1st offical day as a full time Chapman University employee!!! I'm really really really hoping this will be a good opportunity for me. I'm hoping to GAWD its what I've been hoping for. So far it seems to be. Its close - I'm hopefully going to actually start riding my bike to work which would be AWESOME. After working there for 6 months I can start going to school there for pretty much free. Bennies are good. I'm getting paid a tiny bit more. And already I feel more welcome then I've ever felt at a new job. You should see the email my new boss sent out announcing my arrival. I felt like a star. I really do think this will be a really good thing for me!
I'm not gonna lie...smoking these past 2 weeks have been bad. Not that its an excuse but this has been the a couple of the knarliest couple of weeks. Dont fret - I'm not back to the full blown smoker I was, but I have been cheating way too much. With Street Fair and lil bro in town this weekend I'm probably going to be very very bad. BUT - Next week is a new week. I'll be at my new job, I'm hopefully going to be doing alot more active crap by biking my fat ass too work, I need to diet and I need to cut out those cheats completely and officially be a non-smoker. It'll happen. Just takin a bit longer then I care to admit.
Not all is perfect of course. Papa is still a major concern. I worry more and more about him each day. I still need to replace my cadalitic converter on my truck and finances of course are always looming.
But dammmit I think I've got some good comin my way. FINALLY.
I couldnt get into OCC - classes were full. I seriously think this is a sign. This job couldnt have come at a more critical time. I'm wanting to go back to school, and here it is. Plopped in my lap.
I'm of course terrified because its a whole new system and I have ALOT to learn and you all know me...I want to excel at everything right now. So patience has to come into play and I have to learn the new job and suck it up that I'll be a bit slow at first, but I really think it'll be awesome.
I'm also starting up kickball again - quite excited about that!
Street Fair is this weekend, so let the drunken, gluttony fest begin. Well Saturday anyway. As for tonite - I should be in bed.
So that is all at this point folks. Just taking shit day by day and hoping to hell things will start looking on the up and up.
I'm feeling good.
Holy Hell.....
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Foodie Fest...
So T, JJ, Cumby and Petey decided to check out the Foodie Fest 2010 in the Honda Center parking lot. It boasted of 50 gourmet food trucks, arts & crafts and bands. At $12 a ticket we thought - what the hell. We deemed it Roachella.
We all met at Starbucks down the street, and enjoy the fabulous very random butterfly haven and Cumby informs us its sold out. WTF. T, JJ and I had bought tix online, but Petey and Cumby were sans tix. We decided to risk it and try to find someone with extra tix. If fail - Petey and Cumby hit the movies. We all head out, pay $5 to park down the street a ways and trek on over. Cumby sees 2 ladies leavin - she returns w/thier tix hoping for a miraculous re-entry rule. Of course you cant. We stand around for a bit trying to come up with a plan and JJ heads over to the folks who scan your tix. A few min later she's waving us over. We walk in, the scanner gal makin a funny "oops" face when Cumby/Petey's tix were obviously pre-scanned. We find out JJ pulled out a sob story about disabled parking and didnt know about no re-entry, and our disabled friend, etc etc. Petey was proud his stroke helped us out. So here we are.
We get in line at one of the trucks. The lines are RIDICULOUS. I'm starving, so I start line jumping thinking I keep finding shorter lines, of course I dont so I finally stay in Maui Wowy. The others are still in line at Cart for a Cause. Half way thru my line I realize its a smoothie truck. DAMMIT. I need real food - so I hop over to Krazy BBQ. The others find me - T brings me a taco, knowing I'm goin to start murdering people if I dont eat. (We decide Cart for a Cause has the best set up because its a pre-set up meal - 2 tacos, cerviche, a cookie and a drink - gives you a sample of thier food and it moves along quickly) She joins me in line and the others head out to the pizza truck. After what seemed like a decade we get our short rib sammich and polish hot dog and head to the beer garden. The others are still in Pizza Truck line (Slice Truck was its actual name). Cumby had re-joined them with a sushi meal from a sushi truck. T and I pop a squat in a smidge of shade on the ground and eat our meals. So good but so messy! We have our 1st drink. "Where are the others?!" Apparently Slice Truck took longer then Krazy BBQ and they finally joined us what seemed over an hour later. At this point we were a little annoyed and not sure if we wanted to stay. Quite some time later after many many laughs in the Beer Garden where we discovered that us 4 girls could actually rule the world (Cumby is our magic touch, T is the enabler, JJ will do anything for $1 and I'm the heavy) we head out. We hit the Cultura Y Mas booth and drool over the lovely items. They frequent Santa Ana Art area - so we hold out on purchases. Then Cumby and I have some hippie bonding at booth that sells scenty sprays. I hit up Fishlips Truck and try thier sushi (It was ok) and chatted with a poor fellow who has been trying to hit up the Ludo Truck multiple times and always miss it - then here they drive down from LA just to find they sell out. Petey and I are heading towards another truck when Cumby and T appear with coconut waters that the Coconut truck swears they were out of when Cumby promptly reached in and apparently pulled out the last 2 ones. She's got the touch. We now find ourselves in line at the Crepe's truck and T appears with a burrito from Calbi that sent her over the edge. JJ appears with a Pastrami sammich which I promptly follow her back to Lee's Philly truck to get myself one - this puts me over the edge. We're noticing the lines are much shorter, but alot of the trucks are selling out of thier food. The crowds are thinning out and its dying quite quickly and its not even 6pm yet. (Its supposed to go till 7) We give up crepes since the line would not move and Cumby appears with chicken wings and potatoes - this was the end. We all now are about to keel over and die from all the food we have stuffed in our faces the whole day. JJ in fact states she's about to poop out a house. We head out and say goodbye to JJ while the rest of us crowd around a table at JT Schimids and enjoy a couple of cocktails. I'm falling asleep at the table due to major lack of sleep the night before and we again enjoy plenty of laughter. We head out and I promplty crash out before 9pm.
All in all it was a decent day. Lee's Philly was by far my favorite. Seriously some of the best pastrami I have ever eaten. The Krazy BBQ was pretty damn good as well. I know T was a fan of her Calbi burrito and if you like thin oily pizza - The Slice Truck is for you. This was thier 1st year, so they definatly have some bugs to work out but I'd say it was a fun event for sure! Not sure if I'd hit again due to the amount of time you have to wait, unless they somehow improve that, but it was a pretty damn fun day with some fantastic company!
We all met at Starbucks down the street, and enjoy the fabulous very random butterfly haven and Cumby informs us its sold out. WTF. T, JJ and I had bought tix online, but Petey and Cumby were sans tix. We decided to risk it and try to find someone with extra tix. If fail - Petey and Cumby hit the movies. We all head out, pay $5 to park down the street a ways and trek on over. Cumby sees 2 ladies leavin - she returns w/thier tix hoping for a miraculous re-entry rule. Of course you cant. We stand around for a bit trying to come up with a plan and JJ heads over to the folks who scan your tix. A few min later she's waving us over. We walk in, the scanner gal makin a funny "oops" face when Cumby/Petey's tix were obviously pre-scanned. We find out JJ pulled out a sob story about disabled parking and didnt know about no re-entry, and our disabled friend, etc etc. Petey was proud his stroke helped us out. So here we are.
We get in line at one of the trucks. The lines are RIDICULOUS. I'm starving, so I start line jumping thinking I keep finding shorter lines, of course I dont so I finally stay in Maui Wowy. The others are still in line at Cart for a Cause. Half way thru my line I realize its a smoothie truck. DAMMIT. I need real food - so I hop over to Krazy BBQ. The others find me - T brings me a taco, knowing I'm goin to start murdering people if I dont eat. (We decide Cart for a Cause has the best set up because its a pre-set up meal - 2 tacos, cerviche, a cookie and a drink - gives you a sample of thier food and it moves along quickly) She joins me in line and the others head out to the pizza truck. After what seemed like a decade we get our short rib sammich and polish hot dog and head to the beer garden. The others are still in Pizza Truck line (Slice Truck was its actual name). Cumby had re-joined them with a sushi meal from a sushi truck. T and I pop a squat in a smidge of shade on the ground and eat our meals. So good but so messy! We have our 1st drink. "Where are the others?!" Apparently Slice Truck took longer then Krazy BBQ and they finally joined us what seemed over an hour later. At this point we were a little annoyed and not sure if we wanted to stay. Quite some time later after many many laughs in the Beer Garden where we discovered that us 4 girls could actually rule the world (Cumby is our magic touch, T is the enabler, JJ will do anything for $1 and I'm the heavy) we head out. We hit the Cultura Y Mas booth and drool over the lovely items. They frequent Santa Ana Art area - so we hold out on purchases. Then Cumby and I have some hippie bonding at booth that sells scenty sprays. I hit up Fishlips Truck and try thier sushi (It was ok) and chatted with a poor fellow who has been trying to hit up the Ludo Truck multiple times and always miss it - then here they drive down from LA just to find they sell out. Petey and I are heading towards another truck when Cumby and T appear with coconut waters that the Coconut truck swears they were out of when Cumby promptly reached in and apparently pulled out the last 2 ones. She's got the touch. We now find ourselves in line at the Crepe's truck and T appears with a burrito from Calbi that sent her over the edge. JJ appears with a Pastrami sammich which I promptly follow her back to Lee's Philly truck to get myself one - this puts me over the edge. We're noticing the lines are much shorter, but alot of the trucks are selling out of thier food. The crowds are thinning out and its dying quite quickly and its not even 6pm yet. (Its supposed to go till 7) We give up crepes since the line would not move and Cumby appears with chicken wings and potatoes - this was the end. We all now are about to keel over and die from all the food we have stuffed in our faces the whole day. JJ in fact states she's about to poop out a house. We head out and say goodbye to JJ while the rest of us crowd around a table at JT Schimids and enjoy a couple of cocktails. I'm falling asleep at the table due to major lack of sleep the night before and we again enjoy plenty of laughter. We head out and I promplty crash out before 9pm.
All in all it was a decent day. Lee's Philly was by far my favorite. Seriously some of the best pastrami I have ever eaten. The Krazy BBQ was pretty damn good as well. I know T was a fan of her Calbi burrito and if you like thin oily pizza - The Slice Truck is for you. This was thier 1st year, so they definatly have some bugs to work out but I'd say it was a fun event for sure! Not sure if I'd hit again due to the amount of time you have to wait, unless they somehow improve that, but it was a pretty damn fun day with some fantastic company!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Its early...
Got home after 1am this morning. Rolled my ass outta bed this morning at 6am to help ma with her garage sale. Good Lord. My eyes are grainy, I'm a little fuzzy and my mind is spinnin.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You'd think I'd be breathing easier due to the smoking thing, but maybe if I actually completly quit I would be. Dont worry - havent started up again by any means, but I'm still cheating here and there. Not gonna lie. I've got to be honest with myself if I'm gonna get through this. I'm so strung out right now though its hard as hell. So there's goods and bads to report this cold and cloudy early morning (WTF summer?!)
I can officially announce it. I got another job. I'll be working at Chapman University! I'm a little freaked out, ok alot freaked out. I got one day of training last week and I'll be going in nights next week after the Symphony and hoping to GAWD I remember at least an inkling of what the gal filled my brain with on training day. The scary thing is, I have no one there to help me. Apparently no one else is trained to do this. Oh lord oh lord oh lord.
So next week will be a little harry. M-Th workin my last week at PSO in the day and rollin into Chapman at night. Then Friday will be my 1st full day at Chapman.
Once I get the hang of the job (Its pretty much the same thing I was doing at PSO just on an entirely different system and a college is waaaaaaaaaaay different then an arts organization) I will be really excited. After working there 6 months I can go to school there!!!! Alot of the programs are free to employees! (Not all, but alot!) I can go to a private university FOR FREE! That's what sold me. So - there's the news. The good news I'm hopin! I also get to drive a little golf cart like thing apparently so that will be for interesting times I'm sure.
To balance out the good of course there is still the looming car issue. I have yet to find someone to replace the cadaletic converter. Yes. I admit I havent tried very hard....It pains me to have forked out so much money last week and I'm still not done. But I gotta do it. Damn car. I only have like 1 more year to pay off that damn truck and if it dies on me after that I may kill someone. I'm so excited for the 1st time in my life to have a vehicle and not a payment!!! I mean I already have the ex-douchebag's loan, if I could eliminate one of em...well you've all heard it. Ugh.
Ok lets do good bad good bad here....so another good - my lovely T-mow got us tix to Muse. We're like 6 row from the floor or something like that. I'm so excited to see them. They were my favorite at Coachella this year.
Bad. Papa worries me. You've all read how much my Papa means to me. I know how life is. I know we all live and we all die. But I dont want to lose him. I'm also reeeeeally sick of people saying "Well Jami he IS 96 you know....". Fuck you. He's my Papa. I dont care how old he is, and yes I'm so thankful he's been with us all these years, dont even think I've taken a second of that for granted, but I probably love him more then I've ever loved anyone. Seeing him slow down so very much these past couple of years is tearing me apart.
Ok GOOD. Shit that last one teared me up. I am tired as hell though remember....
Lil bro comes home for Labor Day! I'm watching my girls right now playing - Tweaks is hiding under the chair poking out her paw every few seconds trying to attack her sister above. Watching the chair cover pouf and Tabitha jump is pretty damn funny.
Bad - I've gained weight. I really didnt want to be that girl who tries to quit smoking and becomes a fatty. I was thinking of going on a diet but I honestly dont even know how to diet....Sigh.
Ok lets end on a good....ummmmm The Harris/Alamo wedding was lovely last weekend, the shhhhhhhhhhh party was as always a kick, and I'm headin out to a Foodie Fest today that T has deemed Roachella. Diet will have to wait. Lets hope it warms the fuck up.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You'd think I'd be breathing easier due to the smoking thing, but maybe if I actually completly quit I would be. Dont worry - havent started up again by any means, but I'm still cheating here and there. Not gonna lie. I've got to be honest with myself if I'm gonna get through this. I'm so strung out right now though its hard as hell. So there's goods and bads to report this cold and cloudy early morning (WTF summer?!)
I can officially announce it. I got another job. I'll be working at Chapman University! I'm a little freaked out, ok alot freaked out. I got one day of training last week and I'll be going in nights next week after the Symphony and hoping to GAWD I remember at least an inkling of what the gal filled my brain with on training day. The scary thing is, I have no one there to help me. Apparently no one else is trained to do this. Oh lord oh lord oh lord.
So next week will be a little harry. M-Th workin my last week at PSO in the day and rollin into Chapman at night. Then Friday will be my 1st full day at Chapman.
Once I get the hang of the job (Its pretty much the same thing I was doing at PSO just on an entirely different system and a college is waaaaaaaaaaay different then an arts organization) I will be really excited. After working there 6 months I can go to school there!!!! Alot of the programs are free to employees! (Not all, but alot!) I can go to a private university FOR FREE! That's what sold me. So - there's the news. The good news I'm hopin! I also get to drive a little golf cart like thing apparently so that will be for interesting times I'm sure.
To balance out the good of course there is still the looming car issue. I have yet to find someone to replace the cadaletic converter. Yes. I admit I havent tried very hard....It pains me to have forked out so much money last week and I'm still not done. But I gotta do it. Damn car. I only have like 1 more year to pay off that damn truck and if it dies on me after that I may kill someone. I'm so excited for the 1st time in my life to have a vehicle and not a payment!!! I mean I already have the ex-douchebag's loan, if I could eliminate one of em...well you've all heard it. Ugh.
Ok lets do good bad good bad here....so another good - my lovely T-mow got us tix to Muse. We're like 6 row from the floor or something like that. I'm so excited to see them. They were my favorite at Coachella this year.
Bad. Papa worries me. You've all read how much my Papa means to me. I know how life is. I know we all live and we all die. But I dont want to lose him. I'm also reeeeeally sick of people saying "Well Jami he IS 96 you know....". Fuck you. He's my Papa. I dont care how old he is, and yes I'm so thankful he's been with us all these years, dont even think I've taken a second of that for granted, but I probably love him more then I've ever loved anyone. Seeing him slow down so very much these past couple of years is tearing me apart.
Ok GOOD. Shit that last one teared me up. I am tired as hell though remember....
Lil bro comes home for Labor Day! I'm watching my girls right now playing - Tweaks is hiding under the chair poking out her paw every few seconds trying to attack her sister above. Watching the chair cover pouf and Tabitha jump is pretty damn funny.
Bad - I've gained weight. I really didnt want to be that girl who tries to quit smoking and becomes a fatty. I was thinking of going on a diet but I honestly dont even know how to diet....Sigh.
Ok lets end on a good....ummmmm The Harris/Alamo wedding was lovely last weekend, the shhhhhhhhhhh party was as always a kick, and I'm headin out to a Foodie Fest today that T has deemed Roachella. Diet will have to wait. Lets hope it warms the fuck up.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Amusing....
I dont sweat the small stuff.
I dont know why, but I thought that was funny.
I had a gift card to Barnes & Noble, and heard a rumour they may be closing or getting bought out so I figured I should use it. I grab a Christopher Moore book, a Rolling Stone Magazine and I have about $10 left - for funners I pick up "Dont Sweat the Small Stuff Workbook". I like things like that - books that kinda quiz you, or motivate you, or inspire you.
So I've gone through the 1st couple of "tests". The scoring was pretty funny - "You dont seat the small stuff" was one result. The other was "Your pretty easy going".
This is true.
I guess when really f-ed up situations happen to me I flip out. Sadly more of those have happened to me in my life then I care to admit.
Maybe thats why I dont sweat the small stuff. Its just small. I mean - one of the things you were supposed to score yourself on was "How do you react if someone in front of you at the grocery store has more then 10 items in the 10 items only line." Another one was "How do you react when the cable goes out during your favorite TV show". My answers were pretty much who the fuck cares. Then I thought...do people actually freak out about this stuff? I mean really?! But I guess so or these books wouldnt have been written right?
I dont know...I find it pretty interesting what sets people off. Death, divorce, hard times, set backs...I mean those suck. Those are issues. But "How do you react if your drive thru order is wrong?". Please.
I'll continue to finish the workbook - I'm sure I'll get fun little somethings out of it.
But ya -
I really am easy going, except when life blindsides me and knocks me on my ass. Guess my ass has just gotten really strong from gettin knocked on it so many times.
So to those out there who do "Sweat the small stuff". I just dont get ya.
I dont know why, but I thought that was funny.
I had a gift card to Barnes & Noble, and heard a rumour they may be closing or getting bought out so I figured I should use it. I grab a Christopher Moore book, a Rolling Stone Magazine and I have about $10 left - for funners I pick up "Dont Sweat the Small Stuff Workbook". I like things like that - books that kinda quiz you, or motivate you, or inspire you.
So I've gone through the 1st couple of "tests". The scoring was pretty funny - "You dont seat the small stuff" was one result. The other was "Your pretty easy going".
This is true.
I guess when really f-ed up situations happen to me I flip out. Sadly more of those have happened to me in my life then I care to admit.
Maybe thats why I dont sweat the small stuff. Its just small. I mean - one of the things you were supposed to score yourself on was "How do you react if someone in front of you at the grocery store has more then 10 items in the 10 items only line." Another one was "How do you react when the cable goes out during your favorite TV show". My answers were pretty much who the fuck cares. Then I thought...do people actually freak out about this stuff? I mean really?! But I guess so or these books wouldnt have been written right?
I dont know...I find it pretty interesting what sets people off. Death, divorce, hard times, set backs...I mean those suck. Those are issues. But "How do you react if your drive thru order is wrong?". Please.
I'll continue to finish the workbook - I'm sure I'll get fun little somethings out of it.
But ya -
I really am easy going, except when life blindsides me and knocks me on my ass. Guess my ass has just gotten really strong from gettin knocked on it so many times.
So to those out there who do "Sweat the small stuff". I just dont get ya.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tipsy ramblings....
Ok.
I'm not gonna lie.
A bit buzzed.
The roomie broke out a very nice bottle of red tonite due to the fact that I had a mini mental breakdown today.
Started out as such:
Last nite...the check engine light came on. I've had my ABS and emergency brake lites poppin up on my dashboard for months now, but I had my front brakes fixed already thinking this would solve the problem. Alas no.
Whatever. Its a glitch.
So. The check engine light came on, I have to drive to Temecula on Sat for a wedding that could pan out to be really rockin and very beneficial on my end on Sat, I dont want shit to be wrong with my car. I call out of work today and bring my car to the dealership early this morning.
Its gonna be $200 just to look at it because dude 1 has to check the engine lite ($100) and dude 2 needs to check the brake lites ($100). Whatever.
I get the call.
Engine lite dude says I need a new cadalitic converter. $1300. FML. I tell him to hold off.
I get the 2nd call.
Dude 2 says my Anti Lock Brake System isnt working right. $1200. I go ahead to fix this because I'm a girl and I dont know what the hell that means but he mentions panic stops not working and that scares the shit out of me.
Breakdown.
I have been doing so good at paying off this GODAMN loan of my ex-husbands and this is going to set me back so much. I lose it. Fuck! Fuck! and Fuck some more!!!!!
I pull it together. I watch Under the Tuscan Sun. One of my fave and most inspirational movies. I nap. I cry. I call my father who sets me off again into an actual nervous breakdown and I actually vomit.
Yup. That happened.
I'm sure it's a combination of some very big changes happening in my life, my Papa not doing well, my finances already fucked, and on and on and on.
I havent cried this hard in quite some time.
My truck is ready.
I ride my bike in the 100 degree humidity heat to the dealership to pick up my car and charge the ungodly amount. I drive home. I cry some more.
I go to dinner with an ex who pays and feeds me alcohol.
I come home - roomie offers a nice bottle of red saying I deserve it because cars suck. We polish off the bottle over tipsy fun conversation and now here I am.
I breathe.
I'll get through this.
Its a set back.
A big fucking set back.
But I'll get through it.
I need that call tommorow.
I NEED IT.
Now off to crash and hopefully have hope filled happy dreams.
Fucking cars.
I'm not gonna lie.
A bit buzzed.
The roomie broke out a very nice bottle of red tonite due to the fact that I had a mini mental breakdown today.
Started out as such:
Last nite...the check engine light came on. I've had my ABS and emergency brake lites poppin up on my dashboard for months now, but I had my front brakes fixed already thinking this would solve the problem. Alas no.
Whatever. Its a glitch.
So. The check engine light came on, I have to drive to Temecula on Sat for a wedding that could pan out to be really rockin and very beneficial on my end on Sat, I dont want shit to be wrong with my car. I call out of work today and bring my car to the dealership early this morning.
Its gonna be $200 just to look at it because dude 1 has to check the engine lite ($100) and dude 2 needs to check the brake lites ($100). Whatever.
I get the call.
Engine lite dude says I need a new cadalitic converter. $1300. FML. I tell him to hold off.
I get the 2nd call.
Dude 2 says my Anti Lock Brake System isnt working right. $1200. I go ahead to fix this because I'm a girl and I dont know what the hell that means but he mentions panic stops not working and that scares the shit out of me.
Breakdown.
I have been doing so good at paying off this GODAMN loan of my ex-husbands and this is going to set me back so much. I lose it. Fuck! Fuck! and Fuck some more!!!!!
I pull it together. I watch Under the Tuscan Sun. One of my fave and most inspirational movies. I nap. I cry. I call my father who sets me off again into an actual nervous breakdown and I actually vomit.
Yup. That happened.
I'm sure it's a combination of some very big changes happening in my life, my Papa not doing well, my finances already fucked, and on and on and on.
I havent cried this hard in quite some time.
My truck is ready.
I ride my bike in the 100 degree humidity heat to the dealership to pick up my car and charge the ungodly amount. I drive home. I cry some more.
I go to dinner with an ex who pays and feeds me alcohol.
I come home - roomie offers a nice bottle of red saying I deserve it because cars suck. We polish off the bottle over tipsy fun conversation and now here I am.
I breathe.
I'll get through this.
Its a set back.
A big fucking set back.
But I'll get through it.
I need that call tommorow.
I NEED IT.
Now off to crash and hopefully have hope filled happy dreams.
Fucking cars.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Secretly positive and hoping...
Still not smoking. I will admit I’ve had some weird cheats though. I won’t smoke at all for days, and then have a day where I’ll smoke 3 or 4 or a few more. I haven’t had many of those days, but I can’t lie – they do exist. But from my former pack a day habit, I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m also the jackass who mooches them now, because I haven’t broke down and bought another pack since I finished off my “emergency” pack. I’m doing f-ing amazing. I can’t believe I’ve been able to actually do this. I guess its time. I think that really is the key. When you’re ready to do it – it’ll happen. I’m sad to report I don’t think my sis-in-law was ready. She was supposed to quit last week and it hasn’t quite worked out. She was also telling me she doesn’t think she is actually ready, so there ya have it. Bummer. I’m really hoping I can keep this up successfully. Another friend of mine quit a while back and pretty much did it the way I am – cold turkey but had some cheats – especially when drinking. She’s completely cut those now too, and is a successful non-smoker. I’m hoping I get to where she is.
I have some big changes rumbling in the shadows. I don’t want to talk too much detail about them yet, because I don’t want to jinx them. But I have to admit – it’s the 1st time I’ve been really excited and of course terrified. I’ve had such a run of bad luck over the last decade I’m scared to actually feel this hopeful. It’s nice, but at the same time if things don’t fall into place it may be a harder blow then normal that I’m not sure I’ll recover from. But I’m thinking good thoughts. I’m trying to be positive and pro-active and for once it may actually pan out! More on that later. I’m also trying hard to do something active each day. Unfortunately its hard in Orange – it’s just as pretty as Costa Mesa. Walks are just not as lovely. I got a major wild hair up my ass yesterday and had planned to meet a girlfriend for dinner at Sheiki. Well I walked. I figured that’ll be my “walk” for the day and she can then drive me home. This seemed to only sort of work – I have 2 huge blisters on my foot because I was dressed for dinner, not for walking. Maybe I should start carrying a backpack with changes of shoes/clothes if I decide to walk to a nicer event. I’m also trying to ride my bike more. Again – so not as nice as Costa Mesa, but still. I find it hard sometimes to drive my car somewhere I can ride or walk to on a nice day. I’m trying to stay in my little bubble as of late – working on getting these changes in my life to actually happen and work and not vomit good thoughts and positivity on everyone like some people around me are doing. I mean seriously. Have some tact. Yes, it’s good to be a happy person and yes its good to be positive but shoving that down people’s throats hour after hour and day after day is the complete opposite of being a good person. People go through rough patches, people are having very hard times right now – back off! Sorry…little annoyed tirade. SO back to me and my life since that’s what this blog is about at the moment – I’m really really trying this time! I’m really really really trying to get some good in my life. My closest around me know how important this is to me and thank gawd for those friends. Those of you who understand me. Thank you. In the meantime – changes are a comin I hope, reading more, writing more – just trying to not be stagnant. And I promise – I’m not going to turn into an annoying new agey freak! ;)
I have some big changes rumbling in the shadows. I don’t want to talk too much detail about them yet, because I don’t want to jinx them. But I have to admit – it’s the 1st time I’ve been really excited and of course terrified. I’ve had such a run of bad luck over the last decade I’m scared to actually feel this hopeful. It’s nice, but at the same time if things don’t fall into place it may be a harder blow then normal that I’m not sure I’ll recover from. But I’m thinking good thoughts. I’m trying to be positive and pro-active and for once it may actually pan out! More on that later. I’m also trying hard to do something active each day. Unfortunately its hard in Orange – it’s just as pretty as Costa Mesa. Walks are just not as lovely. I got a major wild hair up my ass yesterday and had planned to meet a girlfriend for dinner at Sheiki. Well I walked. I figured that’ll be my “walk” for the day and she can then drive me home. This seemed to only sort of work – I have 2 huge blisters on my foot because I was dressed for dinner, not for walking. Maybe I should start carrying a backpack with changes of shoes/clothes if I decide to walk to a nicer event. I’m also trying to ride my bike more. Again – so not as nice as Costa Mesa, but still. I find it hard sometimes to drive my car somewhere I can ride or walk to on a nice day. I’m trying to stay in my little bubble as of late – working on getting these changes in my life to actually happen and work and not vomit good thoughts and positivity on everyone like some people around me are doing. I mean seriously. Have some tact. Yes, it’s good to be a happy person and yes its good to be positive but shoving that down people’s throats hour after hour and day after day is the complete opposite of being a good person. People go through rough patches, people are having very hard times right now – back off! Sorry…little annoyed tirade. SO back to me and my life since that’s what this blog is about at the moment – I’m really really trying this time! I’m really really really trying to get some good in my life. My closest around me know how important this is to me and thank gawd for those friends. Those of you who understand me. Thank you. In the meantime – changes are a comin I hope, reading more, writing more – just trying to not be stagnant. And I promise – I’m not going to turn into an annoying new agey freak! ;)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
This week...
This has been quite an up an down week I'll tell ya.
Yes, still struggling with the non-smoking. Yes, I've had a cig here and there but I'm starting to develop a painful cough so I think its starting to move its way out. I still have horrible road rage, and the cravings have not stopped. I'm also gaining weight I think. FML.
On a very sad note, we had to put down our family kitty. Gallagher was 20 something years old (we think 23 or 25). His time had come ant it was such a sad day. The house feels very empty without his old crotchety self around.
An amazing thing did happen this week - the Prop 8 ban was lifted! I actually teared up a little with that hopeful feeling again that people will open up their fucking minds. Promptly after that one of my dearest friends popped the question to his partner of many many years - I love them both so very much and am looking forward to being a bridesmaid :)
I got a Brazilian blow out last week - a part of my major attempt at change. It didnt take. Nice huh? The gal who did it is very sweet and wants me to come back next week at no charge and she's trying again. I keep hearing such great things about these and I'd really like for it to work! So, we'll see. Lets hope I can say goodbye to frizz!
It also seems like I'm going through another realization about some of the people that surround my life. There is always the true test constantly of who your friends really are. Its hard when people disappoint you. I do find it interesting though when you see the true side of people and realize who they actually can be. I'm glad to state that I still think I'm a very good person and an even better friend. I'm real. I'm loyal. I'm honest. I'm low drama and laid back. I'm usually up to try anything. I'm apparently pretty entertaining as well. I'm amazed all the time when people put on such a front. Well, it always eventually cracks and the "real" you comes out and alot of the times isnt very appealing. So I feel pretty damn good about myself that there isnt - nor will there ever be - a front or a fakeness about me. I'm me. I'm real. This is who I am. I'm not perfect. I'm going through a really lengthy rough phase right now. I also can be brutally honest. But there are people who love me for that. And that means the world. Right now I need alot of support and its really interesting to see those who are truly supportive and those who are not.
I guess life is about change. My rough patch has been going on for quite sometime, but realllly workin on gettin out of that. Quitting smoking will be huge. I'm sure that will lead my fat ass into being more active. I register for OCC on August 16 - unfortunately I may be taking underwater basketweaving just to get in the door but I'm goin back. My career counsler suggest I look into Speech Therapy. Interesting.
I'm trying so hard to cut back financially and find more ways to make some dough. It helps alot to fantasize about where my life could be in a year or two or four. I'm workin on it and I love those standing by my side while I do it.
I got some things comin up to look foward too. A wedding I'm super excited about, another wedding in the works, Street Fair, bike rides, more summer weather, a quick San Fran trip, football season, some free concerts and picnics, maybe kickball, maybe softball, a charity cook off, some farmers markets, photo play dates, etc etc and etc.
I got through this crazy week. I can get through more.
Yes, still struggling with the non-smoking. Yes, I've had a cig here and there but I'm starting to develop a painful cough so I think its starting to move its way out. I still have horrible road rage, and the cravings have not stopped. I'm also gaining weight I think. FML.
On a very sad note, we had to put down our family kitty. Gallagher was 20 something years old (we think 23 or 25). His time had come ant it was such a sad day. The house feels very empty without his old crotchety self around.
An amazing thing did happen this week - the Prop 8 ban was lifted! I actually teared up a little with that hopeful feeling again that people will open up their fucking minds. Promptly after that one of my dearest friends popped the question to his partner of many many years - I love them both so very much and am looking forward to being a bridesmaid :)
I got a Brazilian blow out last week - a part of my major attempt at change. It didnt take. Nice huh? The gal who did it is very sweet and wants me to come back next week at no charge and she's trying again. I keep hearing such great things about these and I'd really like for it to work! So, we'll see. Lets hope I can say goodbye to frizz!
It also seems like I'm going through another realization about some of the people that surround my life. There is always the true test constantly of who your friends really are. Its hard when people disappoint you. I do find it interesting though when you see the true side of people and realize who they actually can be. I'm glad to state that I still think I'm a very good person and an even better friend. I'm real. I'm loyal. I'm honest. I'm low drama and laid back. I'm usually up to try anything. I'm apparently pretty entertaining as well. I'm amazed all the time when people put on such a front. Well, it always eventually cracks and the "real" you comes out and alot of the times isnt very appealing. So I feel pretty damn good about myself that there isnt - nor will there ever be - a front or a fakeness about me. I'm me. I'm real. This is who I am. I'm not perfect. I'm going through a really lengthy rough phase right now. I also can be brutally honest. But there are people who love me for that. And that means the world. Right now I need alot of support and its really interesting to see those who are truly supportive and those who are not.
I guess life is about change. My rough patch has been going on for quite sometime, but realllly workin on gettin out of that. Quitting smoking will be huge. I'm sure that will lead my fat ass into being more active. I register for OCC on August 16 - unfortunately I may be taking underwater basketweaving just to get in the door but I'm goin back. My career counsler suggest I look into Speech Therapy. Interesting.
I'm trying so hard to cut back financially and find more ways to make some dough. It helps alot to fantasize about where my life could be in a year or two or four. I'm workin on it and I love those standing by my side while I do it.
I got some things comin up to look foward too. A wedding I'm super excited about, another wedding in the works, Street Fair, bike rides, more summer weather, a quick San Fran trip, football season, some free concerts and picnics, maybe kickball, maybe softball, a charity cook off, some farmers markets, photo play dates, etc etc and etc.
I got through this crazy week. I can get through more.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Smoking week 2...
In to week 2.
This blows. Ugh. I hate it so much.
So everyday except Monday I allowed myself 1 cig. Yup cheated Friday night and Sunday night and had 2. The thing is – I don’t feel guilty about it. I am pretty surprised at myself for getting this far. I was sure I’d be through my emergency pack by now. This is no victory cry. I wanted to smoke the whole damn thing last nite.
I’ll have good days and bad days. One of the days this week I felt great. I was positive, proud of myself – I didn’t even eat too many suckers! The next day I was screaming out my window to some obnoxious teenagers that I will cut them. I still have my fingernails believe it or not. I’m constantly gnawing on them – those calcium pills must be working.
My friend Mr. Zen was very encouraging last nite – he told me he’d be a part of my lil support group. He paid for my dinner last nite and he knows I can do it. He’s such a doll. Ber is receiving random angry burst txt’s from me – she’s throwing it right back which is a nice laugh. T and I are sharing some angry/sad/frustrated txts. Its hard as hell on us both – but I do think we can do this.
I came into work today and one of my co-workers brought me a vase full of beautiful flowers from her garden and gave me a huge hug telling me she was so proud of me. Word has gotten around here at the office which is good because now I seem a little less crazy when I’m lapping the building venting into the phone to usually my lil bro.
Today is a hard day. I’m really emotional and just want to throw it all away and just be a smoker for the rest of my life. Its harder now tho because people know….I’m starting to not want to disappoint anyone – especially myself.
I keep trying to tell myself I’ll be such an inspiration to others because I was such a heavy smoker for so very long. I’ll be healthier. I’ll breathe more freely. Blah blah fucking blah. Ya. today is a hard day. I cant sit still either. A friend over the weekend said she could tell I was about to jump out of my skin. It’s the strangest thing….I’m doing really good but its one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’m not sure how I’m handling it really. Everything is pissing me off. EVERYTHING. But I’m doing pretty good at not yelling at anyone. Still. So hard. So weird. I don’t feel myself. Le sigh.
I can do this right?
This blows. Ugh. I hate it so much.
So everyday except Monday I allowed myself 1 cig. Yup cheated Friday night and Sunday night and had 2. The thing is – I don’t feel guilty about it. I am pretty surprised at myself for getting this far. I was sure I’d be through my emergency pack by now. This is no victory cry. I wanted to smoke the whole damn thing last nite.
I’ll have good days and bad days. One of the days this week I felt great. I was positive, proud of myself – I didn’t even eat too many suckers! The next day I was screaming out my window to some obnoxious teenagers that I will cut them. I still have my fingernails believe it or not. I’m constantly gnawing on them – those calcium pills must be working.
My friend Mr. Zen was very encouraging last nite – he told me he’d be a part of my lil support group. He paid for my dinner last nite and he knows I can do it. He’s such a doll. Ber is receiving random angry burst txt’s from me – she’s throwing it right back which is a nice laugh. T and I are sharing some angry/sad/frustrated txts. Its hard as hell on us both – but I do think we can do this.
I came into work today and one of my co-workers brought me a vase full of beautiful flowers from her garden and gave me a huge hug telling me she was so proud of me. Word has gotten around here at the office which is good because now I seem a little less crazy when I’m lapping the building venting into the phone to usually my lil bro.
Today is a hard day. I’m really emotional and just want to throw it all away and just be a smoker for the rest of my life. Its harder now tho because people know….I’m starting to not want to disappoint anyone – especially myself.
I keep trying to tell myself I’ll be such an inspiration to others because I was such a heavy smoker for so very long. I’ll be healthier. I’ll breathe more freely. Blah blah fucking blah. Ya. today is a hard day. I cant sit still either. A friend over the weekend said she could tell I was about to jump out of my skin. It’s the strangest thing….I’m doing really good but its one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’m not sure how I’m handling it really. Everything is pissing me off. EVERYTHING. But I’m doing pretty good at not yelling at anyone. Still. So hard. So weird. I don’t feel myself. Le sigh.
I can do this right?
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Smoking...
Here goes....
I've been smoking since I was 12 years old. I've been on The Pill since I was 16 years old. I was up to 2 packs a day in college. Most recently I ranged from a pack every 1-2 days. I'm a hardcore smoker. I'm not a social smoker, I dont have a cigarette only when I drink, etc. I'm a smoker. I'm probably one of the heaviest smokers amongst my circle of friends. A couple of months ago I decided it was time to attempt quitting. No, there was no epiphany, there was nothing tragic that happened, I'm not dating a non-smoker - its just time.
I've quit before - I lasted a year. I wasnt ready to quit then. I'm ready now. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my entire life. Those of you who have never smoked will not understand. Its like a drug. Its a part of me, a part of my life, a part of who I am and I have to kill it. I gave myself the deadline of Tuesday July 20th. This was after the Kelly's Beach trip and the start of a lot of changes coming in my life. I've been thinking about it for months - how to do it, should I do the patch, should I take anti-depressants, etc.
I'm doing it my way. Cold Turkey - esk. No supplements, no drugs, no nothing.
I have an emergency pack - I'm allowing myself 1 cig a day if I cant stand it - I'm only doing this until that emergency pack runs out. This will help with the shock to my system of cutting off something my body is totally accustomed to. Anyone who disagrees or thinks my ideas are stupid can fuck right off. Your not trying to do this. I am.
I'm not being super public about it....I mean alot of people know, but I wont be posting status updates about it for a while. I'm not talking about it too much. Its not the 1st thing I tell someone who doesnt know. I'm putting it here because I'm sure the process may be amusing for some of you to read and I dont think I have alot readers anymore anyway. But those of you reading this now - I love you and hope I can continue to amuse you.
So here I am - Day 6. I have had that 1 cigarette each day except one of them. I'm irritable as all hell but fighting not to kill anyone. I'm twitchy and uncomfortable and anxious and jittery. T was expecting me to be quiet and angry (she's doing this as well BTW and doing really good) but was, I believe amusingly, surprised to find me hyper. Me. Hyper. Gawd I must look like a recovering addict.
In a way tho I am. She also informed me that people are congradulating her etc but then following up with the wary question "How is Jami doing...?" Ha ha ha ha! I love it. I'm going to shock the hell out of alot of people if I can actually get through this nightmare.
Some days are better then others. I did almost get in an actual brawl Fri nite. I pulled off the side of the road, got out of my car and started walking towards the assmunch who cut me off who probably thought I was some timid girl and he could intimidate me - but I'm sure the look on my face as I walked towards him twitching and screaming shocked the hell out of him. He drove off scared and confused as hell. Yes that was stupid of me but its pretty goddamn funny right now.
I've gone thru half a bag of dum dum suckers, a whole bag of lifesavers and numerous packs of gum. A couple of straws have also met their demise as I gnawed them into shreds.
I may fail.
I dont know.
I miss them already. I dont think I'll ever get to the point of thinking they're gross or disgusting. I really do love them. I will miss them and probably always crave one or enjoy the smell or wish for one but I'm told it gets easier.
Its hard as hell, but I'm doing way better then I thought I would and I'm certainly going to give this my all. I'm pretty damn sure I can do this. So look out world - one of the heaviest smokers out there is kicking the habit. Hopefully I can be an inspiration because seriously - if I can do it - anyone can.
I've been smoking since I was 12 years old. I've been on The Pill since I was 16 years old. I was up to 2 packs a day in college. Most recently I ranged from a pack every 1-2 days. I'm a hardcore smoker. I'm not a social smoker, I dont have a cigarette only when I drink, etc. I'm a smoker. I'm probably one of the heaviest smokers amongst my circle of friends. A couple of months ago I decided it was time to attempt quitting. No, there was no epiphany, there was nothing tragic that happened, I'm not dating a non-smoker - its just time.
I've quit before - I lasted a year. I wasnt ready to quit then. I'm ready now. This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my entire life. Those of you who have never smoked will not understand. Its like a drug. Its a part of me, a part of my life, a part of who I am and I have to kill it. I gave myself the deadline of Tuesday July 20th. This was after the Kelly's Beach trip and the start of a lot of changes coming in my life. I've been thinking about it for months - how to do it, should I do the patch, should I take anti-depressants, etc.
I'm doing it my way. Cold Turkey - esk. No supplements, no drugs, no nothing.
I have an emergency pack - I'm allowing myself 1 cig a day if I cant stand it - I'm only doing this until that emergency pack runs out. This will help with the shock to my system of cutting off something my body is totally accustomed to. Anyone who disagrees or thinks my ideas are stupid can fuck right off. Your not trying to do this. I am.
I'm not being super public about it....I mean alot of people know, but I wont be posting status updates about it for a while. I'm not talking about it too much. Its not the 1st thing I tell someone who doesnt know. I'm putting it here because I'm sure the process may be amusing for some of you to read and I dont think I have alot readers anymore anyway. But those of you reading this now - I love you and hope I can continue to amuse you.
So here I am - Day 6. I have had that 1 cigarette each day except one of them. I'm irritable as all hell but fighting not to kill anyone. I'm twitchy and uncomfortable and anxious and jittery. T was expecting me to be quiet and angry (she's doing this as well BTW and doing really good) but was, I believe amusingly, surprised to find me hyper. Me. Hyper. Gawd I must look like a recovering addict.
In a way tho I am. She also informed me that people are congradulating her etc but then following up with the wary question "How is Jami doing...?" Ha ha ha ha! I love it. I'm going to shock the hell out of alot of people if I can actually get through this nightmare.
Some days are better then others. I did almost get in an actual brawl Fri nite. I pulled off the side of the road, got out of my car and started walking towards the assmunch who cut me off who probably thought I was some timid girl and he could intimidate me - but I'm sure the look on my face as I walked towards him twitching and screaming shocked the hell out of him. He drove off scared and confused as hell. Yes that was stupid of me but its pretty goddamn funny right now.
I've gone thru half a bag of dum dum suckers, a whole bag of lifesavers and numerous packs of gum. A couple of straws have also met their demise as I gnawed them into shreds.
I may fail.
I dont know.
I miss them already. I dont think I'll ever get to the point of thinking they're gross or disgusting. I really do love them. I will miss them and probably always crave one or enjoy the smell or wish for one but I'm told it gets easier.
Its hard as hell, but I'm doing way better then I thought I would and I'm certainly going to give this my all. I'm pretty damn sure I can do this. So look out world - one of the heaviest smokers out there is kicking the habit. Hopefully I can be an inspiration because seriously - if I can do it - anyone can.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Kelly's 2010
Year number 2. Yup – I actually did it again. Those of you who read my last Kelly’s Beach blog may have been wondering – “Will Jami actually do this again?”.
Yup.
I honestly think it’s been long enough that I had forgotten the bad stuff and thought it’d be fun to go again. I have to admit – knowing what I was in for this year made it a lot easier to deal with.
4:15am in the morning on Friday my alarm goes off. Now I’d like to point out that this is just not a normal time to ever get up for anything. Seriously. I don’t care what time you got to bed, 4:15am is just plain wrong. Anywhoo – I stumble into the shower, stumble out to make coffee and finish packing. I hear T stumble in for her shower and I start loading the car realizing I’m moving a bit slow and we’re running behind. I know. Shocking. Somehow we make it to D’s only 15 minutes late to find the rest of the crew scurrying around apparently having woke up at 5am when we were supposed to be leaving at this point. Awesome. Jenga ensues as we try to pack all our cars to carry all our crap.
We finally all get on the road sometime after 6 as the sun is starting to rise. Our caravan splits off, but no worries – T’s magic phone will get us there. As we drive, we chat and smoke and snack. At one point we pass an SUV with the back window washer on….”Why don’t they see it?” I wonder aloud – “They can’t see it, the car is packed to the brim” T responds. We move on. About an hour or so later we pass the car again – wiper still on. We pull up to flag the driver – low and behold – its D. Of course. This is a cause of some laughter and tension throughout the rest of the weekend.
We arrive at Kelly’s sometime after 9:30 am. I check us in – much quicker then last time, and we roll over to our site and start to set up. T and I immediately grab a spot due to the giant tent we have arrived with. Nat joining up to be our 3rd – the 2 girls set up our condo why I unload the car. We set Harold (Our new camping gnome) to guard our home. Less then an hour later – we’re all set up. Bathing suits on and drinks in hand – its time to party. The rest of the day consists of drinking, sweating and fighting off the flies. We visit, we mingle, we laugh, we chill by the water (still colder then the arctic even tho its 106 degrees outside). Around 3pm I find myself hungry and hot so a handful of us mosey over to the restaurant for a late lunch. This brought on some pissy attitudes of some who didn’t hear my very loud announcement as to where we were going. Whatever. Lil bro arrives!!!!!! (He has come from the north since his job has him working up there for a few months). I’m so excited. He arrives with a gift basket of wine for the wife and a bottle of some yummy Cab for big sis. The one of us who has an RV stores this for us since we don’t want to leave it out to get drunk or get too hot. We visit, we drink, we snack. T finds herself doin some pretty hot moves on the rope swing, I’m meandering around to the different groups chit chatting but staying close to lil bro since I’ve missed him so. Late into the night I find myself alone. Some people have popped off into groups that I didn’t seem to hop into any, some people are too drunk for me to deal with and others are passed out already. Sad to say I found myself bored. So I retired to the tent and listened to conversations around me until Colorado burst into our tent yelling at me to come back out. I did and joined the group playing Kings Cup. My new favorite game. We laughed aloooooot and had a great time.
Saturday morning slow rising to D’s instant coffee since coffee lady didn’t show up this year. Bitch. Rafts blow, lunches packed, drinks made we head out to wait for the bus. Everyone named all their rafts this year – mine is appropriately called “The Real McCoy” followed by a peace sign. T chooses the SS B12 since this is her new crack and she’s gotten a couple of followers throughout the weekend. We forgot Harold. Le Sigh. Here comes Iggy Pop. Yes. I swear I met Iggy’s doppelganger. This Iggy twin is called Rusty – he’s our bus driver. He starts to load up our rafts shouting out all the details of the fun we’re going to have. Awesome. We line up to get in the bus when this tiny framed woman who had to be in her 60’s or so leaps out wearing a skirt and bikini and shouts “Bus bitch has to pee then we’ll load up!”. Awesome. When she returns she takes our bus tickets and T, lil bro and I hit the front seats due to our motion sickness…At T and I’s feet is a large white bucket full of ice water with 2 large water guns in it. I see where this is going. Not before everyone has even sat down does a blast of cold water hit us from behind. It’s on. Rusty says have at it, just don’t blast out the bus. The war begins. I cant help but laugh in amazement as I’m filling up water buckets and blasting the back half of the bus, Rusty is constantly wiping his window with a squeegee so he can see and Bus Bitch is firing away herself! The best part – is we find out later that Bus Bitch is actually the President of the Chamber of Commerce!!!!!!!! Rusty and Bus Bitch drop us off and unload our rafts at a different launch point then last year. This one is sooooooooooooo much better!!!! You can actually wade into the water and hop/paddle toward the middle then do your best to hit Rock Beach. I did so good! Esch wades out into the water to help pull me in congratulating me and calling me a pro! I was still shaky and spun but way better then last year. We chill, smoke, eat, drink then I tie off to lil bro and we head out. This time me and Sutherland are flanking lil bro’s boat so we did a lot more work this year. My back still f-ing hurts from rowing so much. Lil bro and I were enjoying writing a horror flick the whole time we floated down the river. Scary unknown bubbles and strange wildlife sparked this game. We cruise down the river – its high and running fast but beautiful as always. There was a another game bro, me and Sutherland played...you find a stick or rock with your oar - fling it into the air - then hit it with your own oar. I find I suck left handed. We stop at rope swing beach where they stop every year and have lunch. This is also where the group photo is always shot which I’ve attached in this blog. I decline the rope swing this year due to different wonkier location and wander around the stop joining in random conversations. I get a kick out of the one D is having with some chick who remembers her from 10 years ago. Small world. Time to launch. We head out again and sail out way ahead of the rest of the crew. Our next usual stop has a pigs head on top of the “Don’t stop here” signs, so we keep on floatin. Eventually Corndog and her new boy and T catch up and tie on to us. We cruise on down. I try to get T to sing, but she declines. Lil bro was pretty disappointed but the rest of the crew made their attempts. This of course resulted in us all realizing we are not singers. We stopped at a sort of beach and hang there for about 45 minutes waiting for some of our others to catch up. This is where we witnessed a woman paddling with her boobs. You had to be there to see that one…. None of our crew rolled by so we headed out again. At one point D could not get back into the raft after a pee break – in one fluid motion lil bro pulls her out shouting “I got a big one!” then sitting to close to the edge – ass over head into the water. I grab his oar on the way down and he saves his beer. I must say tho – one of the funniest moments of the trip. Haven’t laughed so hard in a while. We finally arrive back to our campsite about 4 in half hours later – the 1st ones there. This works out perfect as the bathrooms are freshly cleaned and empty so we all get our showers in, changed start to wait for the others. An hour or so later people finally started drifting in. We found out later that they were waiting for us when we were waiting for them thinking we were behind them not ahead. Ah well. One our of crew spent at least 10 minutes trying to put his shoes on. Another gal fell about 8 times before she hit shore. One of my favorite parts of Kelly’s Beach is watching everyone roll in from the float – especially the newbies. Friggin hilarious. If I make it out next year I HAVE to record this. We help people in and realize we’re starving and lazy – so off to the restaurant we go again. Rusty joins us for a while and the night begins. Little mellower this evening due to the thrashing you get from the float – I peaced out early finding myself somewhat alone again. I listen to the conversations around my tent as I drift to sleep. The next morning we slow rise and start to break down. Our goodbyes were especially rough this time since Lil bro had to go back up north instead of home with us. I cried like a bitch. T and I stopped at the Cheese Factory this time – an adorable little kitschy place that makes some yummy cheeses. T and I stalked up on goodies and headed out. Reality started to settle in as we head home. This being my last hurrah before my hopefully positive life changes I’m trying to start making. You’ll be reading about them soon.
Kelly’s Beach is always fun but tiring. Its one of those vacations that’s actually quite a bit of work. I find my patience is less as I get older and I enjoy beds and air conditioning more….maybe a hotel next year…..
But very fun, got to spend quality time with my bro and good friends. Team TJ was at its best – we travel damn well together. Another year gone. I can’t believe the end of July is chomping at my heels…..
Monday, July 5, 2010
Random Thoughts on a Monday...
* I feel so bad when I see someone running to catch a bus. I mean it already blows for these poor bastards to have to even take a bus, then to be running down the street frantically trying to catch the damn thing is even sadder. I find myself rooting for them to make it when the go flying by me, bags swinging, sweat dripping down there face, - I'm in my car whispering "Go man go!!!!". I'm so happy when they make it, but I've seen them miss it as well and I'm have tempted to go pick them up since they put in such a valiant effort trying to catch the thing.
* What is it with babies and peek-a-boo? They love this! They are so fascinated when you hide behind your hands then open them making a face like a jackass. They giggle and stare and are just amazed. Do they actually think you dissappear for that one second or are they just amazed at what an idiot your making of yourself while your doing it?
* I hate the Sit & Sleep commericals. I'm sure they have them on TV too, but I'm reffering to the ones on the radio. I swear as soon as I hear that fucker's voice come over the sound waves I slam my radio buttons to make it stop. Its the only commercial that actually makes me want to jump through the radio and strangle him. He angers me so. To all radio DJ's out there - STOP PLAYING THAT BASTARD NOW!
* I believe that I would be an outstanding griller. Yes I'm talking about a BBQ. Yes I know you all know I dont/wont cook. I'm horrible at it - the kitchen and all its weird contraptions that come with it are puzzles to me. Microwave and Refridgerator are all I'll ever need to survive. But I find that I think I would rule on the BBQ. I've done it a few times and did it again over the weekend. The only thing is I fear the gas. I will not turn the thing on or off. I hate the poof noise followed by flames and heat that you have to go through to turn it on and off. I dont know what it is about gas - but I fear it. Big time. So I'd like the world to invent a non-gas BBQ because I'm sure I could grill up some mean goods. Or I'll just always have to have someone to turn it on/off for me.
* My house is currently over run by birds and thier nests. We have baby birds up the wazoo. We have 1 little dude who cant fly. He's hopping around the backyard. I was trying to clean the yard the other day and almost hosed the poor guy down. "Oh hi lil fella!" I said. He stared at me as if I'd just caused world tragedy. "I didnt get you for Gods sake!". I grabbed a bit of bird seed and put it in front of him. He again looked at me as if to say "Bite me bitch". Fine. I tried. Today I watched another fluffy baby bird on the fence, hoppin around screechin for mom. When mom would arrive he'd open his mouth and screech even more. Mom would look at him then fly off. She did this about 3 times. I thought it was kind of mean, but kind of funny at the same time. We have another next where the baby's have gotten pretty big and fluffy right now, and they barely fit in the nest. Its somewhat hilarious to see 4 little fatties all fighting for space.
I suppose that is all for now. Figured I need to write even if its some random thoughts. Have a lovely day my readers.
* What is it with babies and peek-a-boo? They love this! They are so fascinated when you hide behind your hands then open them making a face like a jackass. They giggle and stare and are just amazed. Do they actually think you dissappear for that one second or are they just amazed at what an idiot your making of yourself while your doing it?
* I hate the Sit & Sleep commericals. I'm sure they have them on TV too, but I'm reffering to the ones on the radio. I swear as soon as I hear that fucker's voice come over the sound waves I slam my radio buttons to make it stop. Its the only commercial that actually makes me want to jump through the radio and strangle him. He angers me so. To all radio DJ's out there - STOP PLAYING THAT BASTARD NOW!
* I believe that I would be an outstanding griller. Yes I'm talking about a BBQ. Yes I know you all know I dont/wont cook. I'm horrible at it - the kitchen and all its weird contraptions that come with it are puzzles to me. Microwave and Refridgerator are all I'll ever need to survive. But I find that I think I would rule on the BBQ. I've done it a few times and did it again over the weekend. The only thing is I fear the gas. I will not turn the thing on or off. I hate the poof noise followed by flames and heat that you have to go through to turn it on and off. I dont know what it is about gas - but I fear it. Big time. So I'd like the world to invent a non-gas BBQ because I'm sure I could grill up some mean goods. Or I'll just always have to have someone to turn it on/off for me.
* My house is currently over run by birds and thier nests. We have baby birds up the wazoo. We have 1 little dude who cant fly. He's hopping around the backyard. I was trying to clean the yard the other day and almost hosed the poor guy down. "Oh hi lil fella!" I said. He stared at me as if I'd just caused world tragedy. "I didnt get you for Gods sake!". I grabbed a bit of bird seed and put it in front of him. He again looked at me as if to say "Bite me bitch". Fine. I tried. Today I watched another fluffy baby bird on the fence, hoppin around screechin for mom. When mom would arrive he'd open his mouth and screech even more. Mom would look at him then fly off. She did this about 3 times. I thought it was kind of mean, but kind of funny at the same time. We have another next where the baby's have gotten pretty big and fluffy right now, and they barely fit in the nest. Its somewhat hilarious to see 4 little fatties all fighting for space.
I suppose that is all for now. Figured I need to write even if its some random thoughts. Have a lovely day my readers.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Movie Reviews...
Why not right?
Money has been very tight for this lady lately, so I havent been going out as much as I used to. One of the free things to do now adays - catch up on movies!
Yes I'm an actor. Yes I'm heavily invovled in theater. My worst trait as said actor - I never ever go to the movies. I maybe hit one once or twice a year. By the time they are out on DVD or On Demand or whatever magic movie watching contraption they have out now - I've forgotten what I wanted to see...or really dont want to commit 2 hours to one thing. (Hi ADD). With some recent injurys and lack of funds surrounding my life at the moment - I've found some time to catch a few! These of course are not reviews, more of just tid bits. So for funners - here's my latest.
Kung Fu Panda
Thats right. I watched a cartoon. And you know what? I f-ing loved it!!!! The little racoon lookin thing that Dustin Hoffman was the voice for was fantastic. Jack Black made my heart melt as Panda and all his ninja fighting co-horts were awesome. OF course I'm a big fan of villians and Ian McShane as the voice of the biggest baddass of them all - a cat of course - was perfection. The movie wasnt too long, but very cute and left me with a warm fuzzy feeling at the end. I will admit...I teared up a bit when they flashed back on the villians childhood. OMG. I do have a soul.
Inglorious Basterds
I knew I'd like this one. A bunch of bad ass dudes kickin the shit out of Nazi's - I mean what more fun is that right? I refuse to watch war movies (Yes I know there's some brilliant ones out there but I'll just have to take your word for it) because of my extremly strong feelings against it, and I will say this movie hit that a little more then I would prefer - but I still dug it. The acting was brilliant. Christoph Waltz won an award for this movie and he damn well deserved it. Talk about portraying a perfectly evil, charming asshole. The character referred to as the Bear Jew I have a new crush on. And yes - when he was introduced then proceeded to beat a fellow to death with a baseball bat my mother turned to me and said "Do you still think he's hot?". "Hotter" I respond. Yes. I'm a bit twisted, but what can I say - hot guy just got bad ass bonus making him hotter. Anywhoo - the movie moves right along and you find yourself totally rooting for the The Basterds.
Alice in Wonderland
Ok. My expectations dropped pretty low for this one, due to the feed back I had heard and the reviews I had read. Alice in Wonderland and all the other Lewis Carroll stories that follow this story are one of my favorite things in the whole world. Combine that with Tim Burton and I was giddy with excitement. Sadly it didnt sound like it was living up. Well - I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised. I didnt love it, but I really dug it. I dont know if alot of people werent aware that this movie was actually more based on Alice in the Looking Glass not Alice in Wonderland. If your familiar with the story - the minute you hear Jabberwocky you know that. Anyway - each person whether real or animated portrayed thier character beautifully. It was an all star cast of voices - Stephen Fry, Christopher Lee, Alan Rickman, etc. Mia Wasikowska is just lovely as Alice, Johnny Depp is perfectly crazy as Hatter and of course Helen Bonham Carter is fucking brilliant as the Red Queen. The Cheshire Cat purrs mischeviously, The Catapiller is a first class know it all and I still want a Bandersnatch as a pet. :) I also want every single one of the dresses Alice wore throughout the movie - freakin awesome!!!! I enjoyed it and felt my imagination roaring again as it did when I was a child reading through the books over and over again.
Sherlock Holmes
I am not a Sherlock Holmes fan - not that I dislike the story - just never got into it. So I did enjoy the movie to a point, but I think I missed quite a bit not being a more knowledgeable Holmes kid. Robert Downey Jr. is always phenominal in any role he portrays (NO, I have not seen IronMan) I also love seeing the Chaplin-esq come out in his performances. It was a very CGI filled movie and alot of "That could never happen" but thats what action movies are all about right?
500 Days of Summer
Looooooooooooooooooooooooved this movie! Joseph Gordon-Levitt is fantastic. I dig him - always have. I think he's very talented. Zooey Deschanel is equally as lovely. I was expecting a warm and fuzzy love story. This is not what is was. It flips back and forth to before and after they break up. 500 days of Summer is Zooey - thats her name. It follows Tom Hansen (Levitt) and how broken hearted he is over the fact. I loved it - we finally got to see a man being the broken one instead of the woman. And Summer does nothing wrong - she's honest and up front with him in the beginning which I loved. I also love when she makes a comment saying "You were never wrong, you were just wrong about me" (something like that). Ouch - that one stabbed right at the heart a bit. Its a great flick. Its done very artsy and falls right into the Indie Film circuit perfectly. I enjoyed it - mom was a little bored.
RocknRolla
I finally made to one of ex-roomie's movie nites!!!! I'm a big fan of Guy Ritchie - hell Snatch is one of my all time favorite movies ever. This didnt dissappoint. I had no idea what it was about, so it was really fun going blindly into a movie. The opening scene is right up my alley. It follows right along with Ritchie's black comedy, shoot em up style movies. Gerard Butler was fantastic. I also have another new crush - Tom Hardy - he plays handsome Bob and is a "pouf". Its a fast paced flick with a couple of plot lines flyin around and of course the outrageous scenes that catch you off guard. Loved it.
So there ya go...my little blog on the latest flicks I've seen. Hope you enjoyed! If anyone even reads these anymore...I'm starting to think the blog world is dying....Le Sigh.
Money has been very tight for this lady lately, so I havent been going out as much as I used to. One of the free things to do now adays - catch up on movies!
Yes I'm an actor. Yes I'm heavily invovled in theater. My worst trait as said actor - I never ever go to the movies. I maybe hit one once or twice a year. By the time they are out on DVD or On Demand or whatever magic movie watching contraption they have out now - I've forgotten what I wanted to see...or really dont want to commit 2 hours to one thing. (Hi ADD). With some recent injurys and lack of funds surrounding my life at the moment - I've found some time to catch a few! These of course are not reviews, more of just tid bits. So for funners - here's my latest.
Kung Fu Panda
Thats right. I watched a cartoon. And you know what? I f-ing loved it!!!! The little racoon lookin thing that Dustin Hoffman was the voice for was fantastic. Jack Black made my heart melt as Panda and all his ninja fighting co-horts were awesome. OF course I'm a big fan of villians and Ian McShane as the voice of the biggest baddass of them all - a cat of course - was perfection. The movie wasnt too long, but very cute and left me with a warm fuzzy feeling at the end. I will admit...I teared up a bit when they flashed back on the villians childhood. OMG. I do have a soul.
Inglorious Basterds
I knew I'd like this one. A bunch of bad ass dudes kickin the shit out of Nazi's - I mean what more fun is that right? I refuse to watch war movies (Yes I know there's some brilliant ones out there but I'll just have to take your word for it) because of my extremly strong feelings against it, and I will say this movie hit that a little more then I would prefer - but I still dug it. The acting was brilliant. Christoph Waltz won an award for this movie and he damn well deserved it. Talk about portraying a perfectly evil, charming asshole. The character referred to as the Bear Jew I have a new crush on. And yes - when he was introduced then proceeded to beat a fellow to death with a baseball bat my mother turned to me and said "Do you still think he's hot?". "Hotter" I respond. Yes. I'm a bit twisted, but what can I say - hot guy just got bad ass bonus making him hotter. Anywhoo - the movie moves right along and you find yourself totally rooting for the The Basterds.
Alice in Wonderland
Ok. My expectations dropped pretty low for this one, due to the feed back I had heard and the reviews I had read. Alice in Wonderland and all the other Lewis Carroll stories that follow this story are one of my favorite things in the whole world. Combine that with Tim Burton and I was giddy with excitement. Sadly it didnt sound like it was living up. Well - I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised. I didnt love it, but I really dug it. I dont know if alot of people werent aware that this movie was actually more based on Alice in the Looking Glass not Alice in Wonderland. If your familiar with the story - the minute you hear Jabberwocky you know that. Anyway - each person whether real or animated portrayed thier character beautifully. It was an all star cast of voices - Stephen Fry, Christopher Lee, Alan Rickman, etc. Mia Wasikowska is just lovely as Alice, Johnny Depp is perfectly crazy as Hatter and of course Helen Bonham Carter is fucking brilliant as the Red Queen. The Cheshire Cat purrs mischeviously, The Catapiller is a first class know it all and I still want a Bandersnatch as a pet. :) I also want every single one of the dresses Alice wore throughout the movie - freakin awesome!!!! I enjoyed it and felt my imagination roaring again as it did when I was a child reading through the books over and over again.
Sherlock Holmes
I am not a Sherlock Holmes fan - not that I dislike the story - just never got into it. So I did enjoy the movie to a point, but I think I missed quite a bit not being a more knowledgeable Holmes kid. Robert Downey Jr. is always phenominal in any role he portrays (NO, I have not seen IronMan) I also love seeing the Chaplin-esq come out in his performances. It was a very CGI filled movie and alot of "That could never happen" but thats what action movies are all about right?
500 Days of Summer
Looooooooooooooooooooooooved this movie! Joseph Gordon-Levitt is fantastic. I dig him - always have. I think he's very talented. Zooey Deschanel is equally as lovely. I was expecting a warm and fuzzy love story. This is not what is was. It flips back and forth to before and after they break up. 500 days of Summer is Zooey - thats her name. It follows Tom Hansen (Levitt) and how broken hearted he is over the fact. I loved it - we finally got to see a man being the broken one instead of the woman. And Summer does nothing wrong - she's honest and up front with him in the beginning which I loved. I also love when she makes a comment saying "You were never wrong, you were just wrong about me" (something like that). Ouch - that one stabbed right at the heart a bit. Its a great flick. Its done very artsy and falls right into the Indie Film circuit perfectly. I enjoyed it - mom was a little bored.
RocknRolla
I finally made to one of ex-roomie's movie nites!!!! I'm a big fan of Guy Ritchie - hell Snatch is one of my all time favorite movies ever. This didnt dissappoint. I had no idea what it was about, so it was really fun going blindly into a movie. The opening scene is right up my alley. It follows right along with Ritchie's black comedy, shoot em up style movies. Gerard Butler was fantastic. I also have another new crush - Tom Hardy - he plays handsome Bob and is a "pouf". Its a fast paced flick with a couple of plot lines flyin around and of course the outrageous scenes that catch you off guard. Loved it.
So there ya go...my little blog on the latest flicks I've seen. Hope you enjoyed! If anyone even reads these anymore...I'm starting to think the blog world is dying....Le Sigh.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
WBOD...June 2
"Write about a silence"
This is just too perfect for today.
I was sitting outside, having a cig (Yes I'm going to quit soon!), it was late but not too late and I noticed the silence. I'm sure these Writer's Book of Days is lookin for more creative or more fluffy flow of words kind of thing - but this is the literal.
Silence.
It was one of the most loudest quiet's I have ever heard. The only slight noise that happened every few minutes was a soft breeze that whispered through the trees. There was nothing. A deep, huge, awesome quiet. There were no dogs barking, no people talking, no phones ringing, no music playin no nothing. I mean nothing. It was bizzare and beautiful at the same time.
I watched the lazy smoke rings haze around me as I listened for the slightest sound of..well...anything! Nothing. Wait - there's the breeze whisper again. The leaves dancing and carassing against one another. Then it stops. It seems as if the world swallowed all the sound. I cant even hear the exhale of my breath. Its so quiet.
I love these moments. These moments when it feels like the world has stopped - just for a moment. Everything is on hold or holding its breath.
Its beautiful. Its quiet.
Enjoy the silence.
This is just too perfect for today.
I was sitting outside, having a cig (Yes I'm going to quit soon!), it was late but not too late and I noticed the silence. I'm sure these Writer's Book of Days is lookin for more creative or more fluffy flow of words kind of thing - but this is the literal.
Silence.
It was one of the most loudest quiet's I have ever heard. The only slight noise that happened every few minutes was a soft breeze that whispered through the trees. There was nothing. A deep, huge, awesome quiet. There were no dogs barking, no people talking, no phones ringing, no music playin no nothing. I mean nothing. It was bizzare and beautiful at the same time.
I watched the lazy smoke rings haze around me as I listened for the slightest sound of..well...anything! Nothing. Wait - there's the breeze whisper again. The leaves dancing and carassing against one another. Then it stops. It seems as if the world swallowed all the sound. I cant even hear the exhale of my breath. Its so quiet.
I love these moments. These moments when it feels like the world has stopped - just for a moment. Everything is on hold or holding its breath.
Its beautiful. Its quiet.
Enjoy the silence.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)