Tipsy ramblings....

Ok.
I'm not gonna lie.
A bit buzzed.
The roomie broke out a very nice bottle of red tonite due to the fact that I had a mini mental breakdown today.
Started out as such:
Last nite...the check engine light came on. I've had my ABS and emergency brake lites poppin up on my dashboard for months now, but I had my front brakes fixed already thinking this would solve the problem. Alas no.
Whatever. Its a glitch.
So. The check engine light came on, I have to drive to Temecula on Sat for a wedding that could pan out to be really rockin and very beneficial on my end on Sat, I dont want shit to be wrong with my car. I call out of work today and bring my car to the dealership early this morning.
Its gonna be $200 just to look at it because dude 1 has to check the engine lite ($100) and dude 2 needs to check the brake lites ($100). Whatever.
I get the call.
Engine lite dude says I need a new cadalitic converter. $1300. FML. I tell him to hold off.
I get the 2nd call.
Dude 2 says my Anti Lock Brake System isnt working right. $1200. I go ahead to fix this because I'm a girl and I dont know what the hell that means but he mentions panic stops not working and that scares the shit out of me.
Breakdown.
I have been doing so good at paying off this GODAMN loan of my ex-husbands and this is going to set me back so much. I lose it. Fuck! Fuck! and Fuck some more!!!!!
I pull it together. I watch Under the Tuscan Sun. One of my fave and most inspirational movies. I nap. I cry. I call my father who sets me off again into an actual nervous breakdown and I actually vomit.
Yup. That happened.
I'm sure it's a combination of some very big changes happening in my life, my Papa not doing well, my finances already fucked, and on and on and on.
I havent cried this hard in quite some time.
My truck is ready.
I ride my bike in the 100 degree humidity heat to the dealership to pick up my car and charge the ungodly amount. I drive home. I cry some more.
I go to dinner with an ex who pays and feeds me alcohol.
I come home - roomie offers a nice bottle of red saying I deserve it because cars suck. We polish off the bottle over tipsy fun conversation and now here I am.
I breathe.
I'll get through this.
Its a set back.
A big fucking set back.
But I'll get through it.
I need that call tommorow.
I NEED IT.
Now off to crash and hopefully have hope filled happy dreams.
Fucking cars.