This shit.
Ladies am I right?
Like WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I know Perimenopause is the before - then after you haven't had a period for 12 months, you're in menopause. But whatever. They're one and the same to me. And she's a nasty bitch.
I thought I'd go ahead and just share/bitch/vent/talk a little about this here because no one else seems to want to. Men don't actually believe us when we try to explain what we're going through and what our symptoms are. Dr.'s are doing their best (If you get a good one) but there's literally like no research/funding for women's health in our country. The fact that - if you have a vagina - you're just shoved aside, not listened to, and not equal in America - is just the goddamn burden we've been dealing with for how long?!
So, here's my journey. I'm right in the throes of it.
I had a hysterectomy in May of 2023. They did leave my ovaries, so not the entire kit & caboodle, but they took everything else. It didn't go great for me. I had major gut issues for months after that, and my body pretty much decided to revolt against me. It also seemed to kick me into full gear for this damn menopause journey. - Side note - what pisses me off is I wanted a hysterectomy in my 20's/30's. I've had nothing but issues with my lady bits and I never had the desire to have kids. So take that shit out! But nooooooooooooooo God forbid I have a choice over my own body. I was just told "I may change my mind" and pushed out the door. Well guess what? My issues got worse and worse and finally in my late 40's they took it out. May have had a better recovery if I had it done at a younger age - but fuck you America's Healthcare.
Once my gut somewhat recovered (This was after a stint doing Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy) I realized I was having all kinds of other weird stuff going on. My sex drive plummeted. I used to be a very sexual person and that just seemed to have died. I started feeling super alone, depressed and ragey. I also had this growing tire around my midsection that I could not get control of. I eat well. I exercise more than the average person. Yet I gained like 25 pounds. I was put on Lexapro to fight the depression, but I was just gaining weight and not feeling any better. Sometime in late 2024 my Dr tried the estrogen patch, thinking I was probably perimenopause. It didn't do anything it seemed, so I stopped that. Also quit the Lexapro since that was just adding to my weight gain.
Then I seemed to be getting UTI's every single time I had sex and sometimes even just for the Hell of it. I was the lube queen. I've dried up like a damn desert down there, so I gotta get help. I was sent to a special Gyn-Urologist. She was basically a Urologist but specialized specifically for women. After a few failed ideas she had she said to take a microdose of a UTI antibiotic right after I have sex. Guess what - it fucking worked! So now I have what I like to call my "Sex Meds".
The weight was still lingering and nothing I was doing was working. Then this wave of GLP's started becoming a thing and every damn person I knew was on one. My Dr. thought I would be a good candidate for just a tiny dose, because as she said - I was literally doing everything right. There's been more and more great things coming out of the studies of these. Hell one of my friends said it cured her colitis! So I gave it a go. It seemed to be helping me in some ways. I was eating less, losing weight at a very slow rate and it actually cured my "hangry triggers" so that was great! No more barfing when Jami got hangry!
But my body was still being weird. I almost felt like a foreigner in my own skin. Back to the Dr I went. I love my Dr. She'll try anything and send me to whomever. She now figured it was time to pass me off to another OBGYN - this woman is actually deemed the Menopause Queen. I'm in.
So I find myself in her office listing all the weird shit that's been happening. "My body aches, and my joints - like I walk my dog and it feels like I ran a marathon. It's not like the normal soreness, but it's weird and achey". She nods. "Yup. That's musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause." You ladies heard of this shit?! I tell her my ears itch. She nods. I tell her I just itch on my face. She nods. I tell her I'm breaking out again. She laughs. She then says "You feel like you just want to jump out of your own skin because your body doesn't feel like yours?" I actually teared up. Finally. Someone who understands!
She starts listing off things to try, paths we can take. She's going to do bloodwork to find out if I'm fully in. Update - I so am. My estrogen is just gone and my ovaries are shriveling up. She mentions some things and says "These aren't FDA approved yet, but there's plenty of research that says it works. But you know they'll push 15 meds through if it was for a man!". I like her.
So over the past year, I'm still on the GLP because it works really well with the Estrogen patch I'm now on (this time the right dose). There is a plan to ween off the GLP because I don't want to move up in dosage due to my troublesome gut, and my Dr agrees. I'm at a good weight, and once I get back to my usual workouts I can maintain with the ween off method. But I'm also now on Progesterone that's supposed to help me sleep so that I can actually get up and work out in the morning which I haven't been able to do because of exhaustion. And I'm soon going to be giving a testosterone cream a go because that can help with sex drive, lean muscle mass and energy.
So that's where I am. I'm on a cocktail of HRT and it really does seem to be helping. It's still damn hard. My eyes are super dry. I'm still tired even when I sleep. And I'm hot all the fucking time. And the GODDAMN BRAIN FOG?! Like why do I just not remember fucking words anymore?! But the aches have gone away, the mood have quelled for the most part (Although if one more person says "Everything seems to be menopause/excuse, you know you can just be getting old?") I may punch you in the dick. Because yes - that's usually men. You asshats don't think I know the difference between just being 50 and something entirely foreign and weird and wrong?!
And look - I don't mean to trash men here, but educate yourselves. If you care about us you'd learn about it a bit more and know we're not fucking crazy. Our bodies and our hormones are basically in a fucking war with each other inside our skin making us feel like we're going to turn inside out. Oh - and again - our country gives zero fucks about women's health so all we got is what are Dr's/Scientists that actually care have found out on their damn own.
So there you have it. How you ladies doing? Know we're in this together! I'm seriously thinking of putting together some kind of a gathering of woman to just share our journeys with each other and help us all realize - You're not crazy. You're not alone.
