I was explaining the levels we have to go through during the online dating process to a friend the other day, and she's of the geek culture and referred to it as "Leveling Up". A perfect analogy.
Here's how it goes once you've signed up on a dating site or app:
Now, this 1st level depends on what site/app you're on. You're either swiping through the deck of cards that are dudes, or sorting through your dudes that are daily sent to you based on the site/apps algorithms, or some other way dudes are presented to you to like or pass on.
You then may "Match" with someone. -
LEVEL UP! (This usually means both parties "liked' or "swiped right" on each other)
Then hopefully you start a conversation via the site/app. Some of them the women has to initiate (Which BTW - if I matched with you, I liked you for some reason, and I will ALWAYS initiate. Not every woman is a ghost) and some it doesn't matter. Some are timed. But this next step is the emailing/chatting via the app/site.
Dude actually responds to the emails/chats and you two keep a conversation going (note - keep a conversation going) -
LEVEL UP!
At this point you will hopefully dig each other enough to exchange digits.
Then you text each other or *gasp* a phone call happens -
LEVEL UP!
You actually text more than one day. -
LEVEL UP! (Yes. Actually another level here)
Now - yet another level falls here - you actually consistently text (or call, but let's be real 98% of the world texts now) with the thought - ON BOTH PARTIES - that this is leading to an eventual meet up. A lot of the time things fail here, you find out if you got yourself a pen pal. But if not -
LEVEL UP!
You make a date. With details. -
LEVEL UP!
There is where you may actually get a bit hopeful.
Date actually happens. Like you go to the agreed place and your date shows up and you have an actual date. -
LEVEL UP!
Now here's another crucial time. The date either bombs and the courting ends here. Or it goes really well - or so you think. Both of you actually have to have that chemistry or spark or something. You may think it goes well but the dude ghosts or let's you know (which is super rare) that he didn't feel it. So I will say here - the next step is you continue contact and schedule and go on and actually have a 2nd date -
LEVEL UP!
You schedule and go on an actually have a 3rd date -
LEVEL UP!
From my experience if you can
successfully make it to 4 or 5
actually successful dates that it really
does look like it's going to go somewhere you can officially say you have now passed the needed levels to fall into actually
possibly dating someone. So consider yourself promoted - to another set of levels.
Unfortunately I can't say this means you're done or have found the one, but you've at least got past the beginnings. Does this make sense? Seem like a lot of work? It is.
Welcome to the 9th Circle of Hell which is Online Dating.
