Monday, June 1, 2020

Final Lockdown Life...

It seems with things starting to open up again and the world exploding into even more unrest, I think it's time to stop the Lockdown Life Series.  It's just gotten to that point ya know?  That point where I'm so emotionally drained and just don't really know how to handle this anymore.

The statistics as of today:


Worldwide:
Cases - 7.6 million
Deaths - 424,203

US:
Cases -2.06 million
Deaths - 115.000

OC:
Cases -7,614
Deaths - 185

Yeah.

It's not improving.  It's not getting better.  It's just growing and growing.  Yet - apparently we're loosening restrictions.  States are opening up.  California is  opening up.  Dine in restaurants can now have dine in customers as long as they meet safety protocols.  Hair Salons have opened up - you gotta be masked and there's safety protocols.  Same with other types of businesses - I started my Physical Therapy back up again this week because I'm tired of being in so much pain.  They took my temp before I went in and we have to be masked up.  Gyms/Bars/Zoos/Aquariums opening up this week.  Disneyland just announced they're opening up July 17th.  There's all these safety protocols in place now - but to be honest it really seems like all of a sudden no one gives a fuck.

Our country is divided.  You have the extreme one side - shaming people for going out, for not wearing masks.  These people are still not leaving thier house screaming at others that they're killing people by going out.  Then there's the extreme other side which actually branches into 2 - the Conspiracy Theory folks that still think this whole thing is bullshit and we're all sheep.  Then there's the other branch of just the middle finger folk that are basically screaming that wearing masks is taking away their rights as Americans and fuck you we have to work and so what if people are going to die and they legit just don't care.  Then there's the majority of us in the middle.  Those of us who are still being careful, wearing our masks, following guidelines, practicing social distancing (Unless you have some family members that attack you with hugs no matter what you say), but we still go out - sparingly -  but are getting a bit stir crazy.

Then our world blew up again.  George Floyd was murdered by a police officer.  Yes - murdered.  They knelt on his neck while he screamed he couldn't breathe and they killed him.  This erupted the Black Lives Matter Movement again but this time around way more fierce and more support and basically our entire country took to the streets in protest and some parts of the world.  COVID-19 be damned.  Yes - people wore masks - but not everyone - so there ya go.  I don't know if this blew up so large because everyone is at wits end or what - but it does seem like FINALLY people are realizing that racism and police brutality exist and it needs to fucking stop already.  Please please please let this work this time.  Jesus  - it's a damn pandemic and people said fuck it and hit the streets.  It's time.

So here we are.  In world that's just plain fucked it seems.  2020 has chewed us up and spit us out and it's still not done with us.  I truly feel like the Murder Hornets flew around and went "Fuck this" and peaced out.

I want it over for so many reasons as we all do.  The fact that IT'S STILL KILLING PEOPLE.  The fact that if someone is dying in the hospital or a nursing home you can't be by their side.  But also because it's taken away our human contact.  We need this.  We find comfort in family and friends and those of us who are very affectionate people need that human contact and I miss it.  Our social aspect of life is taken away.  Yeah -  shit's opening up and you can sort of go out but it's weird and scary and honestly not all that fun.  Then there's the war between the anti maskers and maskers and so much political unrest.  Like more than usual.  It's exhausting.  Every day I wake up with my mind spinning and sometimes turns into anxiety attacks.  I'm fucking tired.  And I'm just me.  Everyone is battling and it just hurts my heart.

I don't know what the rest of this year is going to bring.  I hope to GAWD a vaccine is found before they say it will.  I hope to GAWD they find some kind of something to fight this fucking thing.  I hope to GAWD people realize to STOP BEING RACIST JACKASSES.  I hope to GAWD I can find it in myself to still be positive and spread kindness even though it seems so moot at this point.

I love you my friends.

I truly have enjoyed sharing my Lockdown Life Stories and I hope you enjoyed them.  It was one of the things that brought me joy.

Stay safe.  Stay Strong.  We'll do our best to stay positive.


 I think this is my favorite meme yet: