Luckily I had a nice weekend to make up for my shitty week last week. Friday night about 10 lovely friends all got together in Long Beach for some damn good sushi. It was so fun and the sushi was soooo good. Nice long chats with my lovely date to and fro. Saturday I got up before the sunrise to join everyone at the Anaheim Stadium for the OC Aids Walk. It was really fun! I have to admit I was a bit dissappointed that me and the 2 people I brought on were the only ones on our team to raise any money. I'm also a bit dissappointed that none of our people who weren't walking came out to cheer on the 6 of us who were. I'd like to do this next year, but I'm going to rally up my own team of people who are truly dedicated to the cause. But that aside, it was truly a fun time. Saturday eve Mel and I found a truly divine little restaurant called Old Vine. Small portions, a bit pricy, but amazing wine and a lovely atmosphere. Sunday was all about mom. I arrived with a large tray of meat (Pig Pack from Newport Rib Company) and the entire family ate, watched old slides and caught up. I stayed late into the eve with mom enjoying our conversation.
Its a new week - and it better rock. I'm still working on this whole positive attitude thing. Putting out there into the universe that money will be coming my way, that I will truly find happiness, that I will find a hot guy in Havasu to hook up with (tee hee). So I'm workin on it folks. I'm workin.
Segway.....
In this midst of working on myself, trying to figure things out I'm finding that I seem to fight alot with myself. I'm truly trying not to let little things bother me anymore. Its hard tho. Its hard when people I keep thinking I can trust, betray me. People I think are friends are only friends when they're alone with me. People in my life who seem to have to portray all the fun they're having like its a fucking broadcast. Is this insecurity? I think it is. I'm pretty fed up with all the bullshit, the dishonesty, the lies, the jealousy, the anger, the meaness that seems to be floating all around me - plastered across photos, written in remarks, put on for others. Why do people feel they have to prove something? Why do people have to put on a show? Seriously. I'm starting to find I separate myself from these people. I just cant do it anymore. I have alot of friends, I'm truly blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people. But its really time to start finding out whose truly there for me. I'm having a tough time trying to find my road. Find my happines. Find my way. I need only positive people around me. No more bullshit folks. Its time to get real or get the fuck out. We're adults.
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