CAT-tastrophe

This is my life.
I've lived in my place for almost 4 years now. I want my carpets cleaned. I want to have some summer gatherings and I want the place to look half way decent. So after many calls to the landlord its happening today. I decide its best to board the girls at my vet while this happens. I assume I can do all this before work, then pick them up after.
My morning begins with my usual routine with the added chore of putting everything "loose" up. Its hot this morning. I'm now sweating like a whore in church and its not even 8am yet. I'm also not feeling my best, I'm a little emotional and over-sensitive this morning, women will understand why.
I have the cardboard cat carrier that I got from the shelter when I adopted the girls. I just now realize they both cannot fit into this anymore. They've grown. Alot. Luckily the vet is not far, so I decide if I hurry I can take one then come back and get the other. Tweaks is first. She's pretty easy. She hollers the entire drive there, but thats the extent. I get to the vet and explain my situation. The gal says (and I love these girls mind you) "Since your in a bit of a hurry - just take this carrier for now to go get Tabitha instead of waiting for us to bring this one back up after taking Tweaks to boarding." Fabulous. I head back home.
This cardboard carrier is not as sturdy as mine. Tabitha is also the more sketchier of the two. The battle of getting (a freakishly strong) Tabitha into the box begins. I succeed, or so I think. Right before I open the front door I hear the sound of the box exploding. I look down. Tabitha is gone. She came out the bottom! I also didnt even see her bolt. Literally vanishing cat. I'm now a little close to tears because this morning is not going as smoothly as I planned. I start to duck tape the box back together. This is not easy. Whoever owns this cat carrier must have a 5 pound little waif kitty. I track Tabitha down and we begin the box battle again. Its now worse. The box is not holding well, she's now more freaked out then before. Its a good 5 minutes of a struggle, tears are now actually running down my face. Mark gets up - the 2 of us manage to get her in. I get in the car with a screeching cat and a box that I'm praying holds to the vet.
Now. I have had cats not enjoy the cat carrier. But she was flipping the fuck out. (If any of you have seen National Lampoons Christmas Vacation - picture the scene when Chevy Chase is holding the present that old woman has wrapped her cat in...remember how the box flipped and turned....yeah.) So I get on the road and head over. Now here is where I almost died. Yes ladies and gentleman I had a near death experience this morning involving a garbage truck and a comical cat routine. The garbage truck is taking up my side of the road, I'm patiently waiting to go around. Just as I begin - Tabitha explodes out of the box. Saw that comin didnt ya! Imagine me - driving around a garbage truck, a flipped out cat exploding out of a box in my little truck cab. Not pretty. I slam on my breaks, catch the flying cat out of the air and swerve to miss a car and almost crash straight into the garbage truck. The look on the garbage truck drivers face was priceless - I'm sure he wasnt quite sure what to make of the little gal in the little white truck that almost just crashed into them clutching a crazed black cat on her chest/neck. I pull over to a point where I'm not blocking anyone or going to kill anyone and Tabitha is panting, heart racing, screeching and clutching on to her mama for dear life. I try to calm her down, as I calm myself down. Tears are streaming down my face but I'm also half laughing at the ridiculous spectacale this has all become. I realize she's not leaving my lap. So I continue to the vet (once my hands stopped shaking and my eyes cleared) with Tabitha holding on to me.
I arrive at the vet. I call the lovely ladies from the parking lot and explain the wacky situation I'm in. She comes out to my car with a carrier, we stuff Tabitha in and I follow her, carrying the now completly destroyed cardboard cat carrier into the offices. She was so sympathetic. (Did I tell you I love these girls?) "Are you ok?" she asks. I can see my reflection in the window and I laugh. My hair is sticking on end, I have cat fur everywhere, my tank top has been pulled so my bra is hanging out and I have an odd wild look in my eye. "I'm fine" I say.
I head to work. I call my mother. I cried again. Then I laughed hysterically. At least my near death experience today had some humour to it right?
So at lunch today, I'm going to Petco to spend my life savings on a real cat carrier. Jesus what a morning.