Friendships...

Family and friends.
The most important thing in ones life in my opinion. Family and friends helped me through my bitter divorce, and the hurt and anger I felt years afterwards. Family and friends helped me through moving back home after my 10 year job went under. Family and friends are always there when I’m sad or hurt or struggling or celebrating.
I’m very lucky – I have an amazing family. I’m not a person who comes from a wacked out childhood, I’m not a person who was abused by her family. My family is very close. No, we’re not perfect. Yes, we have our quibbles but we love each other unconditionally. My family still loves me after I went through my “dark years”. I’m lucky. I’ll never ever take that for granted.
Friends are different. Friends come and go. We do have those certain friendships that will last a lifetime. It’s interesting to me to find out who these people are as life goes on. I have been surprised and disappointed. I have a wonderful circle of friends right now I can trust and rely on. Some of those I’ve grown closer too. Some of those know me so well it’s freaky. Some of those know exactly what I need when I need it. Then there are those that have drifted away. Those friendships I thought would turn into a lifetime bond but sadly did not. People change. Lives change and they move on, without me. It hurts, but its life. I consider myself so very lucky to have as many lifetime friendships that I currently have. I love those friends so very much.
Then its times like this past week, when something tragic happens to a dear friend. A stroke crippling my 37 year old friend. I do think he’ll come through. I do think he’ll be back to his sassy self, but it’s hard and it’s sad and I’ve cried so much. Its going to be a very long frustrating process. My other dear friend and his partner I’ve watched. I showed up to be his right hand wo-man. Any support I could give. Anything I could do. He’s relied on me for a lot because he knows he can. He knows I’ll be there. I’ve known and loved these two for 13 years. (Hell maybe 14 now…). Its hard to watch a strong figure crumble when someone he loves is so vulnerable right now. But I’m there. And so are so many others. Its truly been so amazing to be a part of the out pouring of support. The love, the offers, the friendships. Why – because we’re family. I’m the daughter and granddaughter of fireman. Fireman families are just that – family. We all do whatever we can for each other, whether we know each other personally or not. We’re family. The theater community is family. The Rudies are family. We take care of our own. I know its touched the hearts of my boys to see the outpouring of love and support. And its touched my own heart when some of those people, those dear friends of mine call me as well. Ask me how I am. Ask me how I’m holding up. Telling me what an angel I am for what I’m doing. It means the world. I’m doing it for my friends, my family. I’m doing it because I love them, and I would do anything I can for those I love. Its beautiful to know I’d have the same in return. I never expect that, never expect rewards or recognition, but it touches me. It just proves my point – I’m so very lucky to have wonderful friends and family. Yes, I’m over sensitive and over emotional right now, but its still so great to know we have each other in these shitty times.
As I said earlier, its interesting and sad and beautiful when friendships grow or falter. But knowing how many lifelong bonds I have makes me smile.