So - I thought I'd write about the big move in with the boyfriend.
Yup - it's happening. Pat and I have been dating just over 2 years and decided to take that next step. (Well his lease being up and me really starting to despise camping in my caboose helped push it along).
I am having massive anxiety.
I mean this is no surprise to anyone who knows me, but damn.
Now, before I lament about the stresses and anxiety train that this has been - I must preface with - worth it. I love Pat. As hard as it is for me to give up my independence and co-habitate - he's worth it. I'm happy and I will be even more when I get settled and into my new routines (yes plural...there will be a with kiddo routine and a without kiddo routine) So - I'm going to share my story that is ridden with AAACKKK moments but I'm also excited to start this new chapter.
Our move in date got pushed up almost 3 weeks because Pat found a place to rent that he and the kiddo really dug. I was not at the initial walk through, but when I did get to see it I was thrilled. (FYI my current caboose could fit in the bathroom of the new place).
Unfortunately I felt like a fast forward button was pushed on my life. Everything was happening and it was happening damn fast. Throw in a giant vet bill for my poor cats dental work, my current unhappy situation at work, the fact that I have no friggin money, oh...and life - Jami went into overdrive.
The lease paperwork process began. 14 pages. I've never signed a lease that long (I think the only other lease I signed was a paper saying pay on the 1st. Done). I felt my heart tighten and my stomach flip when I signed. I'm in now. There's no turning back. This made me start having heart palpitations and I was not expecting to have such a reaction. OMG.
Then Pat was on a mission. Renters Insurance. Shelves for the garage. He's getting the keys early (Wait...that's cool!). It's. All. Happening.
1st thing was 1st - I needed to move the romantic evening at a hotel I had planned for Valentine's Day since that was now our move weekend. Done. Worked out. I was a little disappointed that the hair appointment I scheduled right before Valentine's Day so I could look super blonde and cute for the adventure is now going to have me looking super blonde and cute for a move. It's cool.
2nd thing was I'm going to need a covered litter box. I currently don't have one because my brother built me a little contraption that works for my caboose but isn't transportable. Bought one. Tried it out...too small. Bought another one. Also too small. Tabitha is not happy with me. Ordered a 3rd one that looks like a table with a door and will be really cool - this led to meltdown number 1............It was a hot morning. I thought I could put it together myself. I was very wrong. It went from bad to worse to horrendous to me sitting in the middle of broken up litter box pieces (It was like an Ikea nightmare) ugly crying so bad that the sweet gal living with my landlady ran over to my door to see what was wrong. I text my friend Stacey who instantly came over, hugged me, and fixed it. This girl is amazeballs. She also completely understood that my meltdown was the beginning of many and knows how hard this is for me.
The next day that same rad friend and I took a load over. I love this getting the keys early thing. We're not moving in until the 15th but we can start bringing shit over. Dope. I also wanted to smudge the place. Hell yes I'm going to bless this new place. It's a new start for us as a family and I'm going to kick out the negative and bring in the positive! Stacey was the perfect friend/support I needed while doing the ceremony.
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| Air, Fire, Water, Earth, Cleanse, Dismiss, Dispel |
One weekend the three of us went couch shopping. Purchased. A few hours later I got a text from Pat saying "Say hello to your new washer and dryer!". Check. Check. So many wonderful friends have offered up random pieces of furniture. I have them all on stand by waiting until we move in to see how everything fits/works.
Now - Pat has been moving a little bit almost every day. That boy will be moved in before move day. He's also right up the street. Myself - I can pack up in one day. No one believes me. I live in a Caboose people. It's tiny. There's literally no room to have too much stuff. I needed to keep my place in order and the same until I have to. Staying in routine and not changing anything until I have to has been helping me maintain. Hello OCD.
Welp - that all fell apart about a week before move weekend. Another fab friend brought over a ton of moving boxes. They are now everywhere. I guess I'll start packing.
Things. Are. Happening.
My friend Robin comes over Thursday night we pack my kitchen.
Friday I take work off have breakfast with dad - load up his truck - show him the new place. Couch, Internet people, Washer/Dryer People, Gas dude - all coming that day. Pat and I order take out and enjoy our 1st dinner in our new place.
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| Cheers to a new start! |
I head home and pack the rest of the night. Come Saturday morning - big move day - I was ready.
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| Ready to go! |
Pat/Elise showed up with the U-Haul.
T showed up gifting us rugs before she headed to breakfast with her mom.
Libby, Glen, Rafael, Shane and Danelle all showed up and we packed that bitch in less than an hour. Keri gave me a tearful hug and I was off.
It was so friggin weird. When it got all cleared out I stared at the empty Caboose for a minute and really thought about it. I lived here over 7 years. The longest residency I've ever had. This outlived my marriage, when I lived with Coyan and even back home with mom. I've lived alone for over 7 years. That's all going to change now. My heart started doing flip flops again. Libby walked in and exclaimed "How did we not realize this place was so fucking small!!!??" Seriously.
We got to the new place and unloaded. Shane was out of commission so he was there to do our walk through for our landlord and make sure all was up to code. Mom showed up and it was a very scattered crazy busy day of Glen/Pat/Rafael doing the majority of the heavy lifting and the rest of us carrying, unpacking, etc etc etc. Also growing to hate stairs.
The next 3 days were non stop. Partially because I NEED ORDER. Pat's mom came over and helped Elise get her room all set up. Pat and I trying to figure out the rest of the house. Mom came over again to help me find homes for things. Unpack, organize, move things around, change things around, etc etc etc.
Monday was when I brought over Tabitha. I was super emotional and nervous. Lots of tears. As expected she basically hid in the extra room where her stuff lives the whole day before giving me this look:
Then come early evening and she was yowling. I started to let her out and follow her around - um - she's my brave little toothless panther! She is spooked yes, but totally braver than expected! She wandered the whole upstairs, got to know the layout and seemed a little uneasy but ok! Yay!!! We had the dog meet cat moment - Seymore at the bottom of the stairs standing next to Pat - Tabitha a the top of the stairs sitting with me. She was not thrilled. Seymore was like "Hi new housemate!!" She even started checking out the downstairs later that night. I was so relieved but now realizing we really need to enforce the all doors always closed rule. We don't want either fur baby getting outside in an area that has coyotes cruising about.
And guess what?! They even chilled together in the same room one night!
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| Tabitha is not thrilled but Seymore is |
This week has been all about adjusting and I'm not going to lie - it's been damn hard. Pat and I have opposite schedules during the week. I'm an early bird and now I have to get up even earlier being farther from work (Why the F is it so dark in the morning!!!?) and he's a night owl. I can't really shut the bedroom door because the cat's stuff is in the other room so she needs access. So I think I need to look into earplugs. At least for when I 1st go to bed. Pat has to listen to me get up at the ass crack of dawn and get ready right around him in the morning, although that boy can sleep like the dead. But - again - adjusting.
The pets are adjusting as well. Poor Seymore can't go down the stairs without falling it seems, so we need to keep that in check. He got up a few times in the wee hours and Pat had to take him out. Tabitha caused the gate to come crashing down one night giving me a panic attack. That was a fun night. Basically I'm not sleeping at all. But last night both pets seemed to make it through the night with no issues and after Pat turned in for the night I think I actually slept most of the night. This morning my routine I'm trying to create started to feel a little more natural - so it'll be ok eventually I'm sure.
One of the hardest things for me I think is going to be the fact that I'm no longer alone. I live with others now. I feel like I still need to always be present and entertaining, but I know that'll fade. I really think that once we all get more used to each other, we'll have our own space more often. It's weird though. It's been so long since I shared a household with anyone. More adjusting. That's the magic word for all of this because that's what it is and when we come out the other side I'm sure it's going to be great.
Speaking of going to be great - now that I've shared the difficulties and anxiety part for my fellow friends to relate to - here's what's already so great!
I'M WARM!!!!! Like seriously you guys! We have a furnace and it works amazingly! It hit me one morning when I went to work. I got out of the car to walk up to my building and was like "Oooo! It's cold out!" I stopped and realized that's the 1st time I felt the cold. Living in a warm place, then getting in a car parked in a warm garage - I DIDN'T FEEL THE COLD UNTIL THEN! My last 7ish years in that Caboose have basically just been in a constant state of cold. I'm not even going to need to go to bed in my onesie!!!
The kitchen. Seriously the kitchen. It's so big and beautiful and there's so much cabinet space and room and counter space!!! When I came home from the grocery store I could put all my groceries on the Island. THE ISLAND YOU GUYS! Then put things away so easy and oh by the way I HAVE A WALK IN PANTRY! We still have cabinets and drawers we haven't even put stuff in because WE HAVE THAT MUCH ROOM! It's glorious.
Speaking of kitchen - I got myself giggling when I was cooking zucchini on the stove. I kept going to adjust the pan but I didn't have to. You see, at my Caboose a tree root is busting up through the floor and causes this crazy slant and my stove was slanted so I always had to play with the pans to make the food/sauce not pool on the one side. I DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT ANY MORE! It just sits there. And cooks. Evenly in the pan!!
There's also a giant bathtub - totally separate from the shower. A walk in closet. A laundry room. And it's a pretty quiet neighborhood! No screaming little kids, no constantly barking dog, no whiskey tango neighbors screaming at each other. The place is dope. I must say.
I'm also really looking forward to what we make of the place. There's an area out side where we can have a garden. We still have to figure out what to do with our "sitting" area. I can't wait to get a chair in our bedroom so I can have my meditation/reading area. I look forward to doing things with Elise - like baking (in our huge kitchen) and maybe some craft projects? The laundry room has a great area to do these sorts of things. Pat has also mentioned wanting to get a hike in each weekend too which would be rad. We're right next to all kinds of great areas to hike.
The support has been amazing. Our families and friends have been right there helping us along. So many of my closer circle has been helping me not lose my shit. We could not have done it without all the help of the people mentioned in this blog. We are truly surrounded by beautiful people.
And of course - the best part - this new chapter in my life. Pat and I are making this step to grow as a family unit. I hope so much that I can be a positive influence on Elise. We're all going into this place with a new fresh start attitude. There will be new house rules. Everyone will participate in making dinners when we eat together. Things like that. I really feel like we can learn from each other and be there for each other and have new adventures. I have fallen in love with this man and really do hope that this will grow and flourish into a stronger bond.
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