Meditation as of late...

I really want to be consistent at meditating.
I really want to be able to sit my ass down, quiet my thoughts, be in the moment and meditate.
I have not succeeded at this yet.

It goes like this.  I do really good for like 2 weeks - or sometimes even a whole 21 Days if I stick to one of Deepak Chopra/Oprah Winfrey's Meditation Day Challenges.  But then I fall off.  I'm too tired.  I was drinking.  It's too hot.  It's too cold.  Then I have random days where I do it and not do it and so on and so forth.

I know - in order to notice a difference in my life I need to stay consistently meditating for a longer period of time.

I'm trying.

I thought I would share an example of my struggles.  I'm currently (and totally failing as I've missed like 5 days) doing another Chopra/Winfrey Challenge.  Deepak chats at you for a bit then you sit for about a 10 min meditation.  You're given a little phrase to chant silently in your head.  Sweet music plays in the background and a little bell dings to signify the mediation has ended.  I usually curl up in my chair, cross my legs, hands resting on my thighs, palms up in the little ok symbol, eyes closed, deep breath and then this is what happens in my head:

Om Ram Ramaya. Om Ram Ramaya.  Om Ram Ramaya.
Godammn it's hot out.
Om Ram Ramaya.
WTF is that noise.
Om Ram Ramaya.
I can't believe Trump got elected.  (Vision of me assassinating him comes through).  Jesus Christ Jami you're meditating!  Violence shouldn't be filling your head.
Deep Breathe.  Re focus.
Om Ram Ramaya. Om Ram Ramaya.
I'm so fucking sad.  Maybe I can get more involved somehow to help my friends who are scared.
Jami!!  Focus!!
Om Ram Ramaya.
WTF IS THAT CLICKING NOISE?!
I really like the music they play.  It's so soothing.  Is that a flute?
FOCUS.
Om Ram Ramaya.
I think I'll go grocery shopping on Sun instead of Sat.  That way I can get over to my moms and say hi before I head to Fullerton.  Ugh.  That party is going to be at my house.  I'll have to make sure to close up so the cats don't freak out.
OMG JAMI FOCUS.
Om Ram Ramaya. Om Raym Ramaya.
That's a loud airplane flying over.
Om Ram Ramaya.
Ugh it's so dry out. I think I just heard Tweaks get shocked.
 Om Ram Ramaya. Om Ram Ramaya.
I need to remember to balance my checkbook.  I have to get Maryanne's wedding gift too. I can't wait to eat the prime rib.
Om Ram Ramaya.
Why is something in my house clicking!? WTF.
Om Ram Ramaya. Om Ram Ramaya. Om Ram Ramaya. Om Ram Ramaya.
Was that a dog whining or a child shrieking?
Om Ram Ramaya.
You know, this would make a really funny blog.  I think I'll write about this madness in my head tomorrow.
FOCUS!
Deep breathe.
Om Ram Ramaya.  Om Ram Ramaya.  Om Ram Ramaya.
SERIOUSLY THAT CLICKING.
Om Ram Ramaya.  Om Ram Ramaya.Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya.
Oh my gosh, I'm actually feeling a little relaxed.
*Cat jumps on lap and scares the shit out of me*
Fucking cat.
Om Ram Ramaya. Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya Om Ram Ramaya.
I can do this.
DING!

Fuck.