Illinois Day 1

I'm realizing here in Decatur, I'll probably have time to blog now and again...we'll see, but we'll give it at start! Why not right? Besides, I'm waitin for my turn to take a shower....
So - Day 1 - The flight. HORRIBLE! I was also informed this was a very smooth flight. I've sadly come to realize that I just cant fly. It makes me sick no matter what. I'm quite upset to find this out actually. Jon - my bro - was sitting with me during this miserable experience. God love him. "Should I keep talking? Does that help or make it worse? Just tell me to shut the fuck up". Taking off sucked. The flight was alright, but any movement the plane made I felt. The landing was the worst. Jon had the bag out ready for me, my dad and Lori 2 rows back laughed as they saw my white knuckled hands gripping the seat or my head trying not to throw up. I'm DREADING flying home. But luckily I didnt actually puke.
We land in St. Louis. As we walk thru the airport I"m starting to somewhat recover, little woozy but functional. We walk outside - HOLY SHIT! Now I've heard of this mid-west humidity, but MY GAWD. We get on our Avis bus that takes us to the rental place and are presented with the smallest car ever. Mid size my ass. It's like driving a hamster.
We drive from St. Louis to Decatur. I've never seen so much godamn corn in my life. "Thats why its called the corn belt darlin" my dad says. Alrighty then. We all sing along to 70's music once I figured out how to use the damn radio and drive for a few hours to my Grandad's.
We come in - hugs and kisses from Grandad. He also has the most spastic little pootle I've ever met named Sam. I get the tour. I check out the basement - so cool! I"ve only seen one other in my life. The house is beautiful. 4 bedroom. 2 story. Huge yard.
Ruby Tuesday's for dinner. AWESOME burgers. The humidity is stronger. I"m standing out side with the bro and its like inhaling a steam bath. I'm going to need to buy more hats. Back home. I SAW LIGHTING BUGS!!! I"ve never seen em, my dad points them out - I'm squealing like a little kid! Coolest friggin things I've ever seen!!!
Lori/Jon/I go to Super Walmart to get some nessasasties - this apparently is the place to be here in Decatur. My gawd.
Back home, chillin - I go to bed a bit early, the 2 hour time difference is a little weird. I"m sleeping on what looks like a kid size bed. I almost rolled off it twice last nite. I was kept awake by zecada's. Loudest godamn bugs I've ever heard, and woken this morning by some bird at 5:30am singing a song. Cute, but a bit early. Now I'm off to watch a real thunder/lighting storm, cuz its rollin in as I type!

Headin Out...

So this coming Sunday I leave for Illinois for a week. This is the first time I've been away for an entire week I think since my honeymoon. I'll be gone July 20-July 27. Sunday to Sunday. I'm excited as hell, but also somewhat anxious. I dont have a dime to my name thanks to my asshole, inconsiderate, lying, no remorse, bastard ex husband. (Pardon that bitter rant). My dad and his wife - god love them - are paying for me to go (Flight, hotel, probably food). I'm so thankful and thrilled but at the same time I feel somewhat guilty. I'm also dreading the flight. I've only flown twice in my life. My senior year in high school - to NYC and back and once during my marriage - to Chicago and back. I get terrible motion sickness. I have that damn inner ear thing that makes most "Fun Stuff" a bit of turmoil for me. I called my Dr. today, and they prescribed me some sort of motion sickness pill. I hope its cheap and it works. I'm trying so hard not to work myself up over this whole thing, but I've heard the dreadful stories of flying out of John Wayne and flying over Colordado...Please GAWD dont let me get sick....
Eithier way - I'm excited. My other brother Jon is also flying out to meet up with us, and I'm always so thrilled to spend time with him. I'm going to Decatur. I'll get to see my Grandad whom I havent seen since my brother's wedding. I get to see where my dad grew up. I'm hoping I get to see a lighting bug (I've never seen one!). I've been told I'll probably be bored after the first day, because I'm such a city girl that goes goes goes all the time. I think it'll be good for me. Good to not do anything or think for a few days. Then we go up to Chicago for a few days. We're going to a Cub game at Wrigley Field on Saturday. My job is to get a baseball or two signed for my dad/brother. (Cute short cubbie tank...short shorts....I think I'll get it). I've had some friends suggest some restaurants, jazz clubs, etc. I'm hoping to meet up with the lovely Gretchen if only for an hour or so. I want to go to the Art Museum. (This is the one place I got to go last time I went). I want to eat a hot dog. Eat a pizza. Listen to jazz. Drink wine. Maybe go to SteppenWolf if not to see a show just to see the theater. I plan on taking a lot of pictures. I'm really truly so excited. I'm also so grateful to Dad and Lori for paying for me to go. There's no way I could do it otherwise. I cant wait. I hope I dont get sick on the flight. I hope I can be away from my babies for a whole week and not freak out. I hope I dont come home to a disaster, leaving the roomie alone and all...., I hope I can do as much as I can!
I'm sure the next blog from me will be all about the trip. I'm so excited to get a chance to take a real week vacation!!! Wish me luck gang!!!!

My Counter....

As Amber did recently - my happy blog to counter the negative. (Again with the battling). She's been listing things that make her happy - I do that sometimes too, so here we are for todays:

• My "Help Assistant" on word. I've switched it from the paperclip to the kitty. I love her. I've named her Tiger.
• The LOL Cats website
• Emailing all thru my bored work day with Amber & Rose & Coyan
• The Denist Bill got taken care of
• Mark has scheduled our Draft Day for Fantasy Football
• I get to see Dea tonite
• I'm going to the Fair with Shawn tomorow - maybe I'll actually get a kiss?
• I'm having sushi with Jess today and lunch with Alexander tomorow
• On Sunday when I was on the fwy - some guy went skateboarding across the bridge above that I was about to drive under, facing the fwy, arms up in the air. I laughed out loud. It was so random, and I'm sure thats exactly what he was going for
• When Haley cried on Sunday because she didnt want to leave me
• Bradley Cooper
• I read a script I really like, and hope Jenni gets to do it because I want to play Molly
• I got to play with Alex's new kitten on Monday
• I got to daydream about one of the soccer players
• I sang along to Judas Priest last nite at the top of my lungs in my car driving home
• I love that these bullet points will turn into little daisies when I post this blog

More to come. I will conquer this.

Bitter Sweet

Yesterday was the big party for my grandparents 70th wedding anniversary and my gramma's 90th birthday. Mom has been planning this for a few months. It was held at her house from 1-4ish. I was over all day Saturday helping set up, and early yesterday. I'm exhausted, physcially and emotionally. But my grandparents had a wonderful time and thats all that matters. Why its so bitter sweet:

I'm almost as close to my grandparents as I am my parents. I love them so much it hurts me sometimes. They helped raise my brother and I as we grew up. They've always been a huge part of my life, and I try to do everything I can to always help them/be there for them when they need me, and when they dont. I call them almost every other day abouts just to check in and make sure alls well. Gramma calls me her favorite grandchild. (Sorry Shane, Dyana and Leslie!)

As I've grown up with my grandparents, I've also grown up with thier friends. They have friends like me. So many, and so wonderful. They used to be part of this group called Alpine Andy. It was a group of 10-15 couples that would go camping once every couple of months. I went sometimes. The Hietts had a grandaughter around my age and she would go too sometimes, but there were trips I went alone. I remember Leo Gamas once said to me - "I'm so surprised that someone your age likes to hang out with us old farts!" I just smiled and said I love hanging around with anyone. I truly loved to hear thier stories. I loved to watch this group of older people camping and laughing and drinking and sharing such wonderful friendships. So I was the grandchild everyone knew. I've been to about 35 funerals in my life. A large chunk of these being friends of my grandparents. I show up, and no one is surprised. They've all come to expect me there I think. Bettie's grandaughter. Thats me.

We threw a surprise party for my Papa's 90th birthday 3 years ago. Pretty much the same situation. It rips my heart out to watch all my grandparents friends walkin up in walkers, canes, so old, so frail. These are the same people that used to build fires and camp and cook and drink. At Papa's party I found myself pouring a stiff drink when 3 of the friends I had come up to, to ask how they were told me they were "Waiting to die!". I was horrified. Eventually I found myself with my dad and the 2 other fireman that my papa had worked with who said "Woody doesnt look a day over 50!!!!".

Yesterday was similar to this party, but a little different. First off all we had about a 6 minute DVD that played a bunch of pictures of my grandparents over the years with music. It was so sweet, it made me cry. I really lost it when we watched it with my grandparents before the party started - I glanced over and my papa was crying. My Papa!!!! My stalwart, loyal, dont fuck with, strong, exceptional man. Crying. I left. I walked outside for a cigarette followed by my brother, who also couldnt stand watching my papa cry. A few minutes later here comes mom and Shane's wife. "Jesus!" Mom shouts - "I cant watch dad cry!" No joke. As we stand out there the 1st of the guests start to arrive. I squint to see who just got dropped off. My god its Harold Craig. Last time I saw him was when I drove my grandparents out to see them in Hemet and he was hooked up to a oxygen tank. His wife and thier caregiver come walking up after parking the car. I hug and greet him. "I'm so glad you could make it!" I say. "We wouldnt miss this for the world" he says and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I kiss his wife Ruth and watch them walk in assisted by Elvie (thier caregiver). Tears well up in my eyes again. Mom looks at me and sighs, having the same eye problem. A few minutes later another car pulls out and out drives Dee in her motorized wheelchair with son and caregiver in tow. Jesus. We say our hellos, kisses. Next up Diane in her wheelchair with son and caregiver. Diane hasnt been out of her bed in a year. She actually had 2 fucking strokes over the last week in a half!!!! We hello, kiss. "I would never miss this" she says, hands shaking.

I'm now in the party running around, snapping photographs, checking on gramma/papa, getting drinks or food, doing whatever I can and sweating profusley. Fucking humidity! Here come the Kosmon's. Cecil looks horrible. He kisses my cheek and gasps out a hello. I'm called away by gramma. I get caught up doing something for someone. 20 minute later Margarite Kosmon's daughter Sharon has me by the arm - "Mom has been shouting where's Jami!" she laughs. I run over to say hi to her, she stands gives me a kiss, we chat, she tells me Cecil has dementia. Jesus. I'm running around more. Gramma grabs me - tells Patti and Jane I'm her angel. I kiss her and continue running around. I take cigarette breaks when I can.

This is so hard. I hold it together. As people leave I say my goodbye's, wondering if its the last time I'm going to see this person. I know for some it is. We clean up the party - pack up my grandparents and wrap up the night. Mom, me, Danelle, Dyana and Jody all sit in the patio, smoking, snacking, talking. Its so nice. I miss my cousin Dyana. We used to be inseperable. She's now got 3 kids. They're screaming in the background. No death screams, so she can stay and visit with us. I take Danelle home. I get on the fwy home well after dark. I start to cry. I cry the whole way home. It was a perfect party. Everyone had a wonderful time, my grandparents especially. But aging sucks. As happy as I was that I saw everyone, as happy as I was my grandparents are here to celebrate this momentous occasion, I still have that pang in my heart. It hurts. I think its because I love them so much.

A Mixed Cocktail...

This sums up my past week or so. A mixed cocktail. For many reasons. Little too much drinking, good and bad stuff, etc etc.

Last Wed nite I had my "Ladie's Party". About 12 women or so crammed into my little house to listen to Patti's presentation on our future purchases. We went thru alot of bottles of wine. Every single one of my wine glasses that I owned was used. All with little wine charms I was so excited to finally use. Lots of laughter, estrogen, blushing, giggling, drinking snacking, etc went on throughout the evening. It was wonderful. The party was a huge sucess, I got exactly what I had hoped for! :) When I cleaned up that evening, looking at my counter filled with empty wine bottles and cleaned wine glasses and the smell of oils in the air made me smile.

Thur was a day of running around - cleaning up after that ladie's party and getting geared up for party #2 - the 4th of July BBQ. I realized this day I dropped too much money on both events. Whatever. Its worth it. I'm sure I'll figure out a way to make rent....

I cleaned again, pouring with sweat. I ran around to stores and places to buy more wine, more snacks, a new lounge etc. Thur nite - dinner with Mitzy - more wine. Enuff to sleep thru the nite. Happy. Fuzzy. I love summer.

Fri was our Independance Day. I blew up my kiddie pool, Rose and I brought over her BBQ, food, supplies, etc. People arrived. It was perfect. Low key, relaxed, drank, laughed, chatted, etc. Rose made an amazing spread. Compliments and praises from all. A boy I've recently gone out with came by. He admitted to me later that he was terrifed to come to a party where he only knew me. He got to meet some of the crew - mostly individually as each one would come cursing and shouting into the backyard after an apparent unsuccessfull round of Rock Band. It was perfect. I love my friends. Fireworks began, terrifying me, my girls and others. If my friends had not experienced 4th of July in the white trash central part of Costa Mesa - they sure did Fri nite. Welcome to my Hell I said. After the last trickled home for the nite, I began the late night clean up. At some point I sliced my finger. Blood was pouring down my hand and arm looking straight out of a horror flick. I didnt even feel it. Did I drink that much? I felt it the next day when I showered. Dear god. I hope I dont need stitches.

Sat I had to get up bright and early to be at dad's who was having my tires/alignment fixed on my car. I awoke with a wine headache. I popped 2 excedrin. 2 hours later my body revolted. I was sicker then I've been in a long time. I will not go into the details - but if you've had food poisoning before thats what it was similar too. We came to the conclusion it was a combo of too much junk food, good food, wine, then excedrin and coffee on an empty stomach. I came home to recover. Nursed myself to health in time to attend OFW at RG with Amber. Before the show started I took a dive. Yup. Ate shit right there on the RG stairs in front of the entire crowd. I blamed the fact that I was running on empty - literally. It was one of those beautiful moments when you trip and you think you'll catch it but oh no, down I went. I saw the look of terror in Amber's eyes as she reached out to stop me, but wasnt quick enuff. I at this point had not realized how bad my spill was. I of course popped up into my seat laughing at myself saying I'm fine. 20 min later, my elbow grew and pulsed. My knee ached, my shin purpled. Ya. Totally fucked myself up. Now not only is my right middle finger sliced to pieces, my entire right side is throbbing. Dinner at Pangea. Art walk. Superbad.

Sun. I'm so excited to have a day of nothing. Which is exactly what I did. Recovered from the weekend. Cleaned up reminants. Laid out a tad. Returned Rose's goodies. Got ready for my dinner with this boy. He took me to Gulfstream - fancy and soooooooooooo good (Salmon, scallops, wine, toast points? mmmmmmm). We take a walk after - and here's my topper to the weekend. Again. 3 glasses of wine later. (I'm becoming a true wino). This apparently takes away feelings of pain I've decided. As we walk, I roll my ankle. I of course again - play it off. "Oops I say! Stupid uneven sidewalk!". We continue to walk. By the time I get home, I think....Hmmmm, seems a little sore. Whatever. I'm awoken at 3am this morning by a knarly cat fight outside, I jump out of bed and collaspe to the floor. That ankle - swollen. This is followed by a raging battle with a cockaroach that the girls found. (How Mark didnt wake up is beyond me). I ice the ankle, struggle to get back to bed around 4:30am. I get up this morning. No walk for me. I'm hobbling around slightly with a swollen ankle. Ya. On my right side of course.

So there's my weekend. A mixed cocktail. The good times with friends, food and wine, the bad times with wine and injuries. ....sigh....

I've posted pics from the 4th as well. I love them.

Superhero Help...

I'm going to geek myself out a bit, although I'm probably not a true fan because I admit - I do not read the comic books, but I am a fan of superhero movies, comic movies, etc.
So I need some help. I've seen the trailer for The Dark Knight. I'm quite excited - it looks fascinating. Well, since I'm not an avid comic reader, and I'm pretty much clueless on any backstory - I like to make sure I've watched the priors. I do this with all sorts of things actually...(I watched the entire SATC season before I saw the movie, I re-watched the Indy movies before I saw the new one, etc...). So - I have seen the older Batman movies (the 4 movies with 3 different batmans) but I had not yet seen Batman Begins. Amber and I had our movie night and chose to watch this.
Here's my question - Whats the difference between some of these superheros? I always thought of superheros as people with cool powers and what not. Well, it never really dawned on me - but Batman doesnt have "Special Powers". He's just a ninja, A bad ass ninja mind you, with nifty gadgets. (Personally I think his name should be changed to BatNinja instead of Batman, but thats just me). So I start going over this with Amber whose chuckling at my ignorance, but I'm curious...whats the difference? And whose who? Because now, since I watched the damn thing, I've been thinking to myself..."Who has magic powers?". For instance - Superman can fly - ergo magic power. But then I started thinking of all the Batman Villians - and they all dont nessasarily have magic powers - they're just bad ass with nifty gadgets and crazy. Right?
So is Batman the only Superhero story that doesnt actually have "powers" or is there more? Cuz I know the X-men have powers....but then I think...well...they have powers because they're mutants, so maybe thats its own thing.
Help me out?

Oh and on a side note...I took a "Superhero" test a while back and apparently I'm "Mystique". So I looked her up - and I like this one...I mean - she has a tiger. How bad ass is that!

Heather's...

1. I'll respond with something random (and probably nice) about you.
I think about you every time I go into a thrift store.
2. I'll tell you which movie you remind me of.
Boogy Nights. I always want to costume a show where I can dress you up like roller girl. lol.
3. I'll pick a moment where you got a reaction (loudly or quietly) out of me.
When the back of your dress split during Sleeping Beauty...it was an outwardly quiet reaction, but I damn near pissed my pants.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
Go put your tits in, then let me see the dress
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you (if good) or lie my ass off (if it's bad).
You were Jody's stage manager for Boy Gets Girl. I was sad for you cuz I hate stage managing, but you were very loud and you smoked so I just knew we'd get along great!
6. I'll bluntly ask you something I've always wondered about you.
Have you ever really been in love?
7. I'll challenge you to try something.
I'm having a hard time with this one...I'm guessing as we have much in common, there aren't a lot of things you haven't tried. Oh! If I design a line of clothes, I'm challenging you to be my model (until Bailey grows up and can take over for you...)
8. I'll tell you something I like about you.
Ya got big balls, and I like that in a woman.
9. I'll tell you what book/song reminds me of you.
Baracuda, Heart
10. I'll tell you one word that makes me think of you
Envy...the way you looked in those elf outfits in the Christmas show a couple of years ago...HOT!!!!!