DeathTrap Run...

This will be posted after we're closed but I'm starting it now.

We opened!!!!

We had a helluva rough and frustrating Tech Week but that's why it's called Hell Week right?  Anywhoo - the damn thing is up and seems to be well received so far!

Here's our publicity shots:

Michael Keeney as Porter and Thom Gilbert as Sidney

Myself as Helga Ten Dorp, Jackie Melbourn as Myra and Thom as Sydney

No, I'm not grabbing her boob

Die Keeney!

Will I predict your future?

Thom as Sidney and Lucas Gust as Clifford

I don't know why I love this picture so much

I kinda look high

DeathTrap Cast

What stunned the hell out of me was opening weekend was pretty much sold out!  What?!  Right?  Opening night was great.  Yes, there were stumbles and line flubs but the crowd loved it!  It was so awesome to hear laughter and the oooos & aaahhs as the reveals happened.  My friend Noel surprised me and came that evening.  He loved it!  Sat night Jill Carey (Our Gertrude in S&A) came and supported and Sunday our friend Christine came!  So that was awesome.

I find myself now running backstage when the reveals happen to see if the audience reacts.  I love it!

I'm pretty bored backstage which makes for some fun photos!  Here's opening weekend shots:

Costumes just chillin

Scary Lucas!

Backstage Shenanigans

We're backstage the most.  We get bored.

Cast Wall

Great start!

Weekend 2 - another 3 performances of full houses!  Friday night was a little rough, but the 1st Friday back always seems to be.  A friend of mine from work and her hubs came and they loved it!  So guess the rough spots didn't show!  Saturday night was probably our best show yet - Lucas was on fire and it just felt good.  Sunday matinee brought my biggest crowd - Ma, Keri, Taylor, Rick and Justin and his roomie who came all the way down from Glendale!!!  Hearing Rick laugh almost through me a few times. Everyone really enjoyed it they said.  Afterwards we all went to Karl Strauss for a lovely dinner!   Another old co-worker of mine came on Friday night and she posted something really nice and emailed me:

Post: Saw a fun play, "Death Trap," at the small Attic theater in Santa Ana yesterday. Very well done and we thought the psychic did a particularly good job! This is one of those small local theaters that deserves to be supported. It's the friendliest place and no bad seats. We paid the modest full price because we wanted specific seats and like to support the theater, but you can get discounted tickets on Goldstar. Warning, it's hard to find with a Fairview address but the theater is facing Segerstrom and set well back from the street.

Email: You did a wonderful job in the Death Trap yesterday. My husband kept extolling your acting skills ("she's a natural actress") all the way home. That's a huge compliment coming from him as he's not easily impressed by anyone's acting skills.

Another bit of praise shared by Jack: Someone came up to me yesterday and said they saw it at Long Beach Playhouse and really didn't like it - couldn't even remember the cast or the plot. However, he loved our production.
Also, there is a man who has directed at the Attic many times and I got this email:
Wow!
We enjoyed the show so much. Acting, directing, sets -- all amazing. Please pass along our raves to the cast and crew. There have been so few small cast shows at The Attic. Wonderful the see The Attic do something different. And so well.

So nice right?! 

I didn't take many pics this weekend but did get a couple when I finally got all our cast together for a few min and convinced them to do a group selfie!

 
One more weekend to go!

And here we are - another show in the books.

Closing weekend shots:

Jackie always brought yummy snacks.  I may have gained 10 pounds

Backstage now adays.  Everyone on their phones.

Clifford getting murdered - or was he?

Last time Helga is heading out

Jackie's "I'm finished!" pose

My favorite picture of the entire run

Last weekend was fantastic.  Full houses again!  Friday night my boss and a couple of co-workers came.  We met for dinner at Seasons 52 beforehand but I jetted out early.  Then Melissa, Anna and I got drinks at Karl Strauss after.  They all dug the show!

Saturday night Libby, Glen, Glen's Sis Anita and Hailey all came.  I was a bit worried Hailey may be bored but they all really liked it!  When I was chatting with them about the play being a little boring for Hailey, Anita said "Maybe - but because you were in it, she dug it.  Her eyes got big everytime you came onstage.".  My heart swelled.  Then Lib said she was on the edge of the seat everytime I was out there.  So rad.  I love that she can see me in shows now!

Sunday close was lovely.
Dad, Terri, Robin and her date all came!  Yay!  Terri brought me an awesome little skull wine topper for my presie!  Almost a sold out crowd!  I think they may have been the most responsive as well.  Lots of laughs and gasps.  Terri, Dad and I hit up Pueblo afterwards which was delish!!!

Happy, Full and Tipsy!

This show was a bear getting up.  I'm not going to lie - the rehearsal process was not the best.  BUT - the cast rallied and kicked ass.  I really did adore working with these folks.  Everyone was super professional, super cool and did great work.  I'm thrilled to have made some more friends and contacts.  The show had a really successful 3 week run.  I'm sure the Attic Theatre is appreciative of the money we brought in for them.  Jack thanked us all on the closing performance as did Kathy.  Both of them very heartfelt and sincere.  We closed with a bang and I'm so glad the performances were successful and fun!  So long Helga Ten Dorp!  It was fun playing you and making people laugh!

Little notes from some of the cast.  Farewell Deathtrap!

Pottermore...

You guys.
There's a website called Pottermore.
It's so fucking cool!!
I'm also told it's been around for a few years, but you know how behind I am on EVERYTHING.

Anywhoo - Books 1-5 came out and I was like "Eh".  My mom started reading them and was on me to start.  I didn't want to jump on the bandwagon because EVERYBODY was doing it and sometimes I try to be independent.  Plus I thought they were kids books.  By the time Book 6 was about to come out my mom was like "READ THEM!" So I did.  I blasted through 1-5 and fell in love.

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I was so excited and couldn't wait for Book 6.  Now  - here's my warning:




****SPOILERS!!!!!**** 



If you have not read the books or seen the movies and don't want to be spoiled  - STOP READING.

Moving on - speaking of spoilers, I was livid when I was standing in line at the grocery store and the two women behind me were talking about what happened in Book 6 that had just come out.  I was not able to read it yet and they blurted out "Wasn't that awful when Dumbledore died?!"

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I was so pissed.  So when Book 7 came out - I read the whole thing in one night.  I mean this moment....

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Only one of the very many feels I had during the reading of these books.

Anywhoo - I have gotten way off track, but as you can see - love me some Harry Potter.  And yes - I of course want to secretly be a witch/wizard.  I really want go to Hogwarts and I really really want Buckbeak as a pet.

So - there is this super fun little website I mentioned in the beginning that I have just now found because I'm a bit slow - but it's so cool!!

I immediate took "What's my Patronus" quiz.  Like you guys...this moment right....??!!!

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Anywhoo - my Patronus is:

Yup.  A Chow Dog.  I went back to try to take it again, because a couple of the questions I thought I may have chosen differently but you can't.  Once you're assigned, that's it.  I'm actually kind of ok with that.  I mean - look at the goddamn fluff.

Then I did the sorting house one.  OMG.  I mean I'm totally Griffindor right?  Nope.

Ok.  I guess maybe I do have a dark side.  I mean this moment...

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He's a Slytherin. 
Need I say more?

Then - one of my favorite results was the wand.  I got a Cypress wood with a Phoenix feather core 12 ½" and Quite Bendy flexibility.  A Phoenix feather you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm right now in the process of getting my Phoenix tattoo!!!  I AM A FUCKING PHOENIX!

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There is also the Ilvermorny House which I'm still kind of learning about but I'm the Horned Serpent.  Named by Isolt Sayre after the great horned river serpent that has a jewel set into its forehead; Horned Serpent house is sometimes considered to represent the mind of a witch or wizard. It is also said that Horned Serpent favours scholars.  BOOM.

I still have lots to play with in this adorable site but for now - I'm just damn excited!!!  

Now off to fantasize about joining the house of Slytherin with my Black Cat (that was one of the questions - which pet would you have. Um Duh) with my Phoenix wand that at any moment I can Expecto my Chow Dog Patronus!!!!

Yay HP!

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Grief in comedy...

Last night I had the pleasure of attending Patton Oswalt at the Irvine Improv.

I adore Patton and have never had the chance to see him live.  As excited as I was to see him, I was also curious how it was going to go.  As you may or may not know - Patton lost his wife.  She passed suddenly in her sleep at just 46 only this past April.  I was actually surprised to see Patton back at his razor sharp comedy so soon.

What I witnessed last night was one of the most raw, heart wrenching, and human performances I have ever seen.  And also - hilarious.

The 1st part was pretty light, but it wasn't long before he addressed "The elephant in the room" which is the recent passing of his wife.  He talked about how grief makes depression look like kitten play.  In fact, he wrote a beautiful message on Facebook awhile back about grief that you can find here.  He went on to share a downright fucking heartbreaking moment yet it was probably the time I laughed the hardest during his segment.  He spoke of Mother's Day and how hard he worked to make sure the week ahead was filled with a fun distracting vacation for he and his young daughter.  When they flew home on the actual day, a Polish Flight Attendant stopped them and went on to say how hard it must be for them today, and she was so sad for them, and she knew how they felt and how it doesn't get easier and Oh my God the way he was describing ripped my heart out yet, I was laughing uncontrollably as was the entire crowd.  He continued to talk of how he had nightmares of her showing up on every upcoming 1st holiday without mom.  I honestly don't think I've ever laughed that way.  A laughter that had a mix of laughing and actual emotionally sad crying tears.  The rest of his segment continued that way, but that was the peak and that's what sparked this blog.

You can have a peek here from a recent video of him on Conan:
Conan Video


1st off I'd like to say how fucking amazing I think Patton is for doing this.  For moving forward in a way he knows how - through comedy.  This takes bravery and sass and talent.  He gets my utmost repsect for that.

This is also the 1st time in a really long time that I felt I related to someone.  I find solace in laughter.  Comfort in comedy.  But there's always that fear of "Am I heartless because I'm finding the comedy?"  "Shouldn't I be crying all the fucking time?"  "What is the 'right' way to act when you're grieving?"  You know what the answer is - Do what you do best.  And that's exactly what Patton did.  I felt honored to witness it.

I have ups and downs in my life.  I have always tried to write about my grievances with an air of humor.  I feel I've gotten better at that as the years have gone on.  When I've gone back and read old blogs, I thought I was being funny and I was in a way, but they came off more negative.  I feel that now I've gotten a better handle on it because I'm just straight up and real.  (Plus pictures and memes help).  I've been trying to keep my chin up with my awful roller coaster of online dating with some funny blogs that people may or may not relate to but will at least get a laugh.

But there's some tricky ones.  My hemorrhage for one.  I joke about it.  I laugh about it.  I can write with an air of humor about it.  In fact when I wrote the blow by blow blog, when in recovery, I was still trying to be funny.  It takes me a long time to process things, and I am not ok with what happened to me.  There - I wrote it out loud.  I'm also not ok with the passing of my grandparents.  (If one more person tells me "Oh they were 98 they lived a good life" or "At least you had all that time with them" - You can kiss my fucking ass. You're not helping.)  People don't seem to understand that my teeny tiny little family is super close.  My grandparents were as close to me as my parents and yes - I'm damn lucky to have had that relationship, but their deaths have ripped a hole in my heart that will never heal.  I joked about how my gramma was a bit of a dick - but I didn't love her any less.  My Papa was my superman.  Now they're gone and I don't know how to deal with it.  I get over emotional all the time about them and about my dance with death in 2012.  Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that my chest tightens and I feel more alone than I've ever felt in my entire life.  Didn't know that did ya?  That's because I haven't told anyone.  I don't know how.  But I'll tell you this - Patton's performance last night inspired to me try.  To try and tell my story and keep that humorous vibe that is my life.

Do what you do best my friends.  No matter what they may be. 

And also this:

Dating Update...

Welp.

Still on the e-Harmony.



For a while I wasn't "starting the guided communication" with anyone.  Had the notion that - If they're interested they'll reach out to me.

Then.  Crickets.

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Then a dude reached out.  This is dude I mentioned in this BLOG.  Was hopeful remember?? Sigh.  Alas no.  But - I feel good I made it to 4 - count them - 4 dates with someone finally.  I've been signed up since March.  It's September.  Yeah.  So I'll run down this latest fizzle.

He was the only one to reach out to me when I stopped my initiations.  He was kinda cute.  Seemed kinda cool.  I was slow in responding to him, but did.  We did the usual...made it to email, then made it to text.  Texting went well.  He was nice, funny, we set a 1st date.  He suggested a Wine Bar.  Um - right?!  It's like he knows me already.


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1st date went amazingly well!  My only complaint would be he suggested we split the bill rather than picked up the tab, but I'm still controversial on these feelings of the paying thing.  Should guys pay? Most say yes.  I feel kinda bad, but I don't know.  Anyway - we fell into easy convo.  Had a couple of drinks each.  Laughed.  Got a long.  It was fantastic!  He then asked when he could see me again.  We made plans  - RIGHT THERE!  Like on the date you guys!  He walked me to my car, gave me a quick peck and off he went.  I was thrilled!  I drove home so happy that finally a date went well!

He text every day, we had some days where we would text all throughout the day.  Our 2nd date was to be a hike followed by dinner on a Saturday.  As you read in the previous blog, our dates were few and far between which was a little weird but it was scheduling and he was still in contact with me so I didn't worry too much about it.  In between the 1st and 2nd date is when gramma passed.  He was very understanding when I asked if we could just do dinner, I knew I'd be tired after dealing with all the emotions.  The day before he suggested we meet earlier.  I think he just didn't want to drive home. (He worked in Irvine, lived in HB and we were meeting in DTSA).  We met at 4th Street for a couple of drinks.  He paid - I said thank you - and he said "You can buy me a sandwich".  Really dude?  You can't just pick up the drink tab?

Whatever.  We hit C4 Delhi - I paid - it was a lot more than the 2 drinks lemme tell ya.  He did pick up another round for us, but again - I still paid more.  Sigh.  But again - that was my only bitch.  Everything else was going fine, nice convo, getting along - then he was like "Ok, we should probably call it a night!".  Um...it was 6:30.  But...we met at 3....so I guess that's a long enough time for a 2nd date right?

After this his texting pretty much came to a halt.  Now - let me be clear - I'm not a "texter".  I don't need to have texting convos with you all day, nor do I need to hear from you every day.  But when you go from texting someone constantly to almost nothing it's weird!  I was trying not to overthink it but I'm me.



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I kind of bring it up, he plays it off cool.  I try to be cool.  Date 3.  The OC Fair - which you read about in the above blog.  Again  - went well I thought.  Details in the above link if you didn't read that one.

Date 4.  Now - let me mention something here...I'm the one that made Date 3 and Date 4 happen.  Not him.  I don't know if that's important but someday when I go back and re-read these wondering where shit went wrong this may mean something.  I don't fucking know.  Date 4 was cool.  We met at his house, rode our bikes to a bar, then hung out at the beach, then grabbed some sushi.

I mean look at the collage I made!  (Mom was brekkie but the rest is our date!)






I brought up the paying thing and he seemed mortified he hadn't paid.  Odd, but ok.  This was a Sun.  We talked of getting together the following Sunday for date 5.

Now here's where it goes downhill.  Again - the texting is super sporadic which I don't get, but evs. 

Sometime during the week I try to nail down details for Date 5.  He says he has to cancel.  He has a friends kids party at 1pm and there's people he wants to see.  "Um ok"...I think..."but it's at 1pm.  There's the morning and there's after".  I mention (as we talked about on Sat) I'm rolling into heavy rehearsals and tech week the next couple of weeks so it'll be difficult to get together.  He knows.  I suggest a drink on his way home. (It's in San Clemente) He's not sure.

The next few weeks go as such:

He does text every day but he never asks me out again.  A few times I mention I was surprised he didn't try to see me.  He says he knows I'm busy with my show.  But I told him (many times) my free days.  There are also a few times he text some very odd/inappropriate texts that made me wrinkle my nose.  I'm now at the point where if he was really actually interested in me he would at least try to see me.  I tried to make it happen a few times.  Now - I normally would think - fuck it, he's not into me and move on.  But he keeps texting me!  I'm like -

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This is also when I'm also thinking - I actually don't really care.  Now - I know "sparks" are over-rated.  But shouldn't you feel SOMETHING after a 4th date.  Like I should miss him, or really want to see him, or get happy/butterflies when I think about him?  I mean SOMETHING??  Well - I didn't.  I was just sort of indifferent.  And maybe I would have felt differently had he actually tried to make another date with me (Have you read/watched "He's Just Not That Into You?!" I have!).  There has been a few more red flags here and there but this blog is getting long.  Then it became kind of a weirdly long time since Date 4.  My responses to his texts became pretty short and I thought he was getting the hint.  He wasn't texting me every day so I thought he was ghosting.  Nope - he text again after a couple of days.  I finally had to text a white lie because I didn't know what to do.  I said "I don't want to lead you on, but it looks like I'm stepping it up with someone else.".  His response - "I figured, since you got really busy."  WHAT!?  I was busy dude!  I told you my rehearsal nights and performance dates.  I told you I did have free time though, and was hoping we could get together - BUT YOU NEVER ASKED ME OUT AGAIN!  UGH!!!  I of course didn't text all that - I just text "You're very cool, and I wish you luck in our odd dating world."  I mean that too.  He's not a dick but he was certainly not into me like AT ALL.  I do hope he meets someone.  I'm just not it. 

Here's the thing - I'm happy single.  I'm not depressed and desperate for a relationship.  Yes, it would be nice to meet someone but I don't need someone. I would like to have someone.  There's a huge difference between needing and wanting I feel.  So I'm not lowering my standards (Yes, I'll compromise).  But come on - at least act like you're interested in seeing me for fucks sake.  I'm not a needy person but give somewhat of a shit!


So - 0 for 11 friends.

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I'm now actually "starting the communication" again because why not.  I actually got to texting with one dude - I text my opening "Hey it's Jami from the online world" intro.  He said hello then asked what show I was doing (we had discussed a bit in email).  I told him.  I never heard from him.  Guess he hates DeathTrap.

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So - still at it.  There's some cuties but of course THOSE GUYS never respond.  I'm not as into it as before, but I'll check it every couple of days and email if a dude really sparks my interest but lemme tell ya.  Dating blows.

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Labor Day Weekend Shenanigans...

Despite having rehearsals - I had a damn good weekend!!!

Friday we got cut early from work so Taylor and I met up early in Downtown Fullerton.  1st we hit up Vino Nostra for some wine tasting - Delish!  Then dinner at Chomp.  After that we hit up Monuments playing over at Stages Theater.

Terri and Matt Tully (Stages Photo)

Terri and Matt Tully (Stages Photo)

Paul Burt and Matt Tully (Stages Photo)

I had really wanted to see this to support one of my besties - T!  But before I got there I've been hearing really great things for weeks.  They got great reviews and everyone has seemed to enjoy it!  So I was doubly excited to see it!  My only complaint was it was long.  Almost 3 hours.  Yikes!  But other than that it was great!  The acting was fantastic all around.  The show is a dark comedy and quite the mind fuck as you get more into it.  It's one of those shows you try to follow along but still leave wondering what exactly it was about - but in a good way.  Was it a dream?  Was it an augmented reality?  Who knows - but damn if it wasn't a fun ride.  Congrats to the cast and Stages for a great show!

Saturday afternoon/eve was puppies and dinner over at Dad's house.  Jon is in town and I was so excited to see him!!!  We had yummy steaks and wine and just hung out playing with the puppies and visiting.  I love visiting with Jon and Angela.  So awesome to squeeze them.

Wrigley is so chill!

Love this guy!

Puppy kisses

Seriously

I mean can you EVEN!?

Jon shared time out with the boys.

Sunday was Street Fair!!!  Jon wanted to make sure he was in town for this since he had so much fun last time.  We met at my house and walked over.  The only bummer was we were really missing Shane and Danelle and the Sumi's this year.  So our crew was much smaller but still so much fun!

Love!

Our 1st stop of course was El Buen Tacos.

Alcohol sales weren't starting yet, so we headed over to O'Haras knowing we could get our drinking started in there!

The girls saw the camera

After this was abelskeever time!

Dad loves his dough!

Then over to Rods for the good affordable booze!

Angela had a bit too much booze

Annual Rod's Selfie!

This year it got crowded alot earlier.  I'm sure it was due to the amazing weather.  I think this is the 1st time in years it hasn't been a zillion degrees.  I also had a Hawaiian Pork Sandwich but it wasn't very good.  Sad Panda.  I did get me a good Mango Fruit Popsicle though!  Delish!  Angela got her usual cotton candy and dad a bag of Kettle Corn.  We had a great day of eating and drinking and spending quality Fam Bam time!!

Monday morning T, T's mom Cathy, me and my mom all had breakfast at a new place called the Scratch Room in Anaheim.  T and I have been wanting our moms to meet forever and finally they did!  Cathy was in town for T's show so - Yay!  Of course I forgot to take a picture though. Doh!  Food was good!  Not a big place but good food and a nice waitress. 

Later on that day I had some time before rehearsal so I got to spend a little pool time with my favorite people.

Love these two!

Talk about a good packed weekend of love!  I'm a lucky girl to have such great family and friends in my life!

Yay Holiday Weekends!