Foodie Fest...

So T, JJ, Cumby and Petey decided to check out the Foodie Fest 2010 in the Honda Center parking lot. It boasted of 50 gourmet food trucks, arts & crafts and bands. At $12 a ticket we thought - what the hell. We deemed it Roachella.
We all met at Starbucks down the street, and enjoy the fabulous very random butterfly haven and Cumby informs us its sold out. WTF. T, JJ and I had bought tix online, but Petey and Cumby were sans tix. We decided to risk it and try to find someone with extra tix. If fail - Petey and Cumby hit the movies. We all head out, pay $5 to park down the street a ways and trek on over. Cumby sees 2 ladies leavin - she returns w/thier tix hoping for a miraculous re-entry rule. Of course you cant. We stand around for a bit trying to come up with a plan and JJ heads over to the folks who scan your tix. A few min later she's waving us over. We walk in, the scanner gal makin a funny "oops" face when Cumby/Petey's tix were obviously pre-scanned. We find out JJ pulled out a sob story about disabled parking and didnt know about no re-entry, and our disabled friend, etc etc. Petey was proud his stroke helped us out. So here we are.
We get in line at one of the trucks. The lines are RIDICULOUS. I'm starving, so I start line jumping thinking I keep finding shorter lines, of course I dont so I finally stay in Maui Wowy. The others are still in line at Cart for a Cause. Half way thru my line I realize its a smoothie truck. DAMMIT. I need real food - so I hop over to Krazy BBQ. The others find me - T brings me a taco, knowing I'm goin to start murdering people if I dont eat. (We decide Cart for a Cause has the best set up because its a pre-set up meal - 2 tacos, cerviche, a cookie and a drink - gives you a sample of thier food and it moves along quickly) She joins me in line and the others head out to the pizza truck. After what seemed like a decade we get our short rib sammich and polish hot dog and head to the beer garden. The others are still in Pizza Truck line (Slice Truck was its actual name). Cumby had re-joined them with a sushi meal from a sushi truck. T and I pop a squat in a smidge of shade on the ground and eat our meals. So good but so messy! We have our 1st drink. "Where are the others?!" Apparently Slice Truck took longer then Krazy BBQ and they finally joined us what seemed over an hour later. At this point we were a little annoyed and not sure if we wanted to stay. Quite some time later after many many laughs in the Beer Garden where we discovered that us 4 girls could actually rule the world (Cumby is our magic touch, T is the enabler, JJ will do anything for $1 and I'm the heavy) we head out. We hit the Cultura Y Mas booth and drool over the lovely items. They frequent Santa Ana Art area - so we hold out on purchases. Then Cumby and I have some hippie bonding at booth that sells scenty sprays. I hit up Fishlips Truck and try thier sushi (It was ok) and chatted with a poor fellow who has been trying to hit up the Ludo Truck multiple times and always miss it - then here they drive down from LA just to find they sell out. Petey and I are heading towards another truck when Cumby and T appear with coconut waters that the Coconut truck swears they were out of when Cumby promptly reached in and apparently pulled out the last 2 ones. She's got the touch. We now find ourselves in line at the Crepe's truck and T appears with a burrito from Calbi that sent her over the edge. JJ appears with a Pastrami sammich which I promptly follow her back to Lee's Philly truck to get myself one - this puts me over the edge. We're noticing the lines are much shorter, but alot of the trucks are selling out of thier food. The crowds are thinning out and its dying quite quickly and its not even 6pm yet. (Its supposed to go till 7) We give up crepes since the line would not move and Cumby appears with chicken wings and potatoes - this was the end. We all now are about to keel over and die from all the food we have stuffed in our faces the whole day. JJ in fact states she's about to poop out a house. We head out and say goodbye to JJ while the rest of us crowd around a table at JT Schimids and enjoy a couple of cocktails. I'm falling asleep at the table due to major lack of sleep the night before and we again enjoy plenty of laughter. We head out and I promplty crash out before 9pm.
All in all it was a decent day. Lee's Philly was by far my favorite. Seriously some of the best pastrami I have ever eaten. The Krazy BBQ was pretty damn good as well. I know T was a fan of her Calbi burrito and if you like thin oily pizza - The Slice Truck is for you. This was thier 1st year, so they definatly have some bugs to work out but I'd say it was a fun event for sure! Not sure if I'd hit again due to the amount of time you have to wait, unless they somehow improve that, but it was a pretty damn fun day with some fantastic company!

Its early...

Got home after 1am this morning. Rolled my ass outta bed this morning at 6am to help ma with her garage sale. Good Lord. My eyes are grainy, I'm a little fuzzy and my mind is spinnin.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You'd think I'd be breathing easier due to the smoking thing, but maybe if I actually completly quit I would be. Dont worry - havent started up again by any means, but I'm still cheating here and there. Not gonna lie. I've got to be honest with myself if I'm gonna get through this. I'm so strung out right now though its hard as hell. So there's goods and bads to report this cold and cloudy early morning (WTF summer?!)
I can officially announce it. I got another job. I'll be working at Chapman University! I'm a little freaked out, ok alot freaked out. I got one day of training last week and I'll be going in nights next week after the Symphony and hoping to GAWD I remember at least an inkling of what the gal filled my brain with on training day. The scary thing is, I have no one there to help me. Apparently no one else is trained to do this. Oh lord oh lord oh lord.
So next week will be a little harry. M-Th workin my last week at PSO in the day and rollin into Chapman at night. Then Friday will be my 1st full day at Chapman.
Once I get the hang of the job (Its pretty much the same thing I was doing at PSO just on an entirely different system and a college is waaaaaaaaaaay different then an arts organization) I will be really excited. After working there 6 months I can go to school there!!!! Alot of the programs are free to employees! (Not all, but alot!) I can go to a private university FOR FREE! That's what sold me. So - there's the news. The good news I'm hopin! I also get to drive a little golf cart like thing apparently so that will be for interesting times I'm sure.
To balance out the good of course there is still the looming car issue. I have yet to find someone to replace the cadaletic converter. Yes. I admit I havent tried very hard....It pains me to have forked out so much money last week and I'm still not done. But I gotta do it. Damn car. I only have like 1 more year to pay off that damn truck and if it dies on me after that I may kill someone. I'm so excited for the 1st time in my life to have a vehicle and not a payment!!! I mean I already have the ex-douchebag's loan, if I could eliminate one of em...well you've all heard it. Ugh.
Ok lets do good bad good bad here....so another good - my lovely T-mow got us tix to Muse. We're like 6 row from the floor or something like that. I'm so excited to see them. They were my favorite at Coachella this year.
Bad. Papa worries me. You've all read how much my Papa means to me. I know how life is. I know we all live and we all die. But I dont want to lose him. I'm also reeeeeally sick of people saying "Well Jami he IS 96 you know....". Fuck you. He's my Papa. I dont care how old he is, and yes I'm so thankful he's been with us all these years, dont even think I've taken a second of that for granted, but I probably love him more then I've ever loved anyone. Seeing him slow down so very much these past couple of years is tearing me apart.
Ok GOOD. Shit that last one teared me up. I am tired as hell though remember....
Lil bro comes home for Labor Day! I'm watching my girls right now playing - Tweaks is hiding under the chair poking out her paw every few seconds trying to attack her sister above. Watching the chair cover pouf and Tabitha jump is pretty damn funny.
Bad - I've gained weight. I really didnt want to be that girl who tries to quit smoking and becomes a fatty. I was thinking of going on a diet but I honestly dont even know how to diet....Sigh.
Ok lets end on a good....ummmmm The Harris/Alamo wedding was lovely last weekend, the shhhhhhhhhhh party was as always a kick, and I'm headin out to a Foodie Fest today that T has deemed Roachella. Diet will have to wait. Lets hope it warms the fuck up.

Amusing....

I dont sweat the small stuff.
I dont know why, but I thought that was funny.
I had a gift card to Barnes & Noble, and heard a rumour they may be closing or getting bought out so I figured I should use it. I grab a Christopher Moore book, a Rolling Stone Magazine and I have about $10 left - for funners I pick up "Dont Sweat the Small Stuff Workbook". I like things like that - books that kinda quiz you, or motivate you, or inspire you.
So I've gone through the 1st couple of "tests". The scoring was pretty funny - "You dont seat the small stuff" was one result. The other was "Your pretty easy going".
This is true.
I guess when really f-ed up situations happen to me I flip out. Sadly more of those have happened to me in my life then I care to admit.
Maybe thats why I dont sweat the small stuff. Its just small. I mean - one of the things you were supposed to score yourself on was "How do you react if someone in front of you at the grocery store has more then 10 items in the 10 items only line." Another one was "How do you react when the cable goes out during your favorite TV show". My answers were pretty much who the fuck cares. Then I thought...do people actually freak out about this stuff? I mean really?! But I guess so or these books wouldnt have been written right?
I dont know...I find it pretty interesting what sets people off. Death, divorce, hard times, set backs...I mean those suck. Those are issues. But "How do you react if your drive thru order is wrong?". Please.
I'll continue to finish the workbook - I'm sure I'll get fun little somethings out of it.
But ya -
I really am easy going, except when life blindsides me and knocks me on my ass. Guess my ass has just gotten really strong from gettin knocked on it so many times.
So to those out there who do "Sweat the small stuff". I just dont get ya.

Tipsy ramblings....

Ok.
I'm not gonna lie.
A bit buzzed.
The roomie broke out a very nice bottle of red tonite due to the fact that I had a mini mental breakdown today.
Started out as such:
Last nite...the check engine light came on. I've had my ABS and emergency brake lites poppin up on my dashboard for months now, but I had my front brakes fixed already thinking this would solve the problem. Alas no.
Whatever. Its a glitch.
So. The check engine light came on, I have to drive to Temecula on Sat for a wedding that could pan out to be really rockin and very beneficial on my end on Sat, I dont want shit to be wrong with my car. I call out of work today and bring my car to the dealership early this morning.
Its gonna be $200 just to look at it because dude 1 has to check the engine lite ($100) and dude 2 needs to check the brake lites ($100). Whatever.
I get the call.
Engine lite dude says I need a new cadalitic converter. $1300. FML. I tell him to hold off.
I get the 2nd call.
Dude 2 says my Anti Lock Brake System isnt working right. $1200. I go ahead to fix this because I'm a girl and I dont know what the hell that means but he mentions panic stops not working and that scares the shit out of me.
Breakdown.
I have been doing so good at paying off this GODAMN loan of my ex-husbands and this is going to set me back so much. I lose it. Fuck! Fuck! and Fuck some more!!!!!
I pull it together. I watch Under the Tuscan Sun. One of my fave and most inspirational movies. I nap. I cry. I call my father who sets me off again into an actual nervous breakdown and I actually vomit.
Yup. That happened.
I'm sure it's a combination of some very big changes happening in my life, my Papa not doing well, my finances already fucked, and on and on and on.
I havent cried this hard in quite some time.
My truck is ready.
I ride my bike in the 100 degree humidity heat to the dealership to pick up my car and charge the ungodly amount. I drive home. I cry some more.
I go to dinner with an ex who pays and feeds me alcohol.
I come home - roomie offers a nice bottle of red saying I deserve it because cars suck. We polish off the bottle over tipsy fun conversation and now here I am.
I breathe.
I'll get through this.
Its a set back.
A big fucking set back.
But I'll get through it.
I need that call tommorow.
I NEED IT.
Now off to crash and hopefully have hope filled happy dreams.
Fucking cars.

Secretly positive and hoping...

Still not smoking. I will admit I’ve had some weird cheats though. I won’t smoke at all for days, and then have a day where I’ll smoke 3 or 4 or a few more. I haven’t had many of those days, but I can’t lie – they do exist. But from my former pack a day habit, I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m also the jackass who mooches them now, because I haven’t broke down and bought another pack since I finished off my “emergency” pack. I’m doing f-ing amazing. I can’t believe I’ve been able to actually do this. I guess its time. I think that really is the key. When you’re ready to do it – it’ll happen. I’m sad to report I don’t think my sis-in-law was ready. She was supposed to quit last week and it hasn’t quite worked out. She was also telling me she doesn’t think she is actually ready, so there ya have it. Bummer. I’m really hoping I can keep this up successfully. Another friend of mine quit a while back and pretty much did it the way I am – cold turkey but had some cheats – especially when drinking. She’s completely cut those now too, and is a successful non-smoker. I’m hoping I get to where she is.
I have some big changes rumbling in the shadows. I don’t want to talk too much detail about them yet, because I don’t want to jinx them. But I have to admit – it’s the 1st time I’ve been really excited and of course terrified. I’ve had such a run of bad luck over the last decade I’m scared to actually feel this hopeful. It’s nice, but at the same time if things don’t fall into place it may be a harder blow then normal that I’m not sure I’ll recover from. But I’m thinking good thoughts. I’m trying to be positive and pro-active and for once it may actually pan out! More on that later. I’m also trying hard to do something active each day. Unfortunately its hard in Orange – it’s just as pretty as Costa Mesa. Walks are just not as lovely. I got a major wild hair up my ass yesterday and had planned to meet a girlfriend for dinner at Sheiki. Well I walked. I figured that’ll be my “walk” for the day and she can then drive me home. This seemed to only sort of work – I have 2 huge blisters on my foot because I was dressed for dinner, not for walking. Maybe I should start carrying a backpack with changes of shoes/clothes if I decide to walk to a nicer event. I’m also trying to ride my bike more. Again – so not as nice as Costa Mesa, but still. I find it hard sometimes to drive my car somewhere I can ride or walk to on a nice day. I’m trying to stay in my little bubble as of late – working on getting these changes in my life to actually happen and work and not vomit good thoughts and positivity on everyone like some people around me are doing. I mean seriously. Have some tact. Yes, it’s good to be a happy person and yes its good to be positive but shoving that down people’s throats hour after hour and day after day is the complete opposite of being a good person. People go through rough patches, people are having very hard times right now – back off! Sorry…little annoyed tirade. SO back to me and my life since that’s what this blog is about at the moment – I’m really really trying this time! I’m really really really trying to get some good in my life. My closest around me know how important this is to me and thank gawd for those friends. Those of you who understand me. Thank you. In the meantime – changes are a comin I hope, reading more, writing more – just trying to not be stagnant. And I promise – I’m not going to turn into an annoying new agey freak! ;)

This week...

This has been quite an up an down week I'll tell ya.
Yes, still struggling with the non-smoking. Yes, I've had a cig here and there but I'm starting to develop a painful cough so I think its starting to move its way out. I still have horrible road rage, and the cravings have not stopped. I'm also gaining weight I think. FML.
On a very sad note, we had to put down our family kitty. Gallagher was 20 something years old (we think 23 or 25). His time had come ant it was such a sad day. The house feels very empty without his old crotchety self around.
An amazing thing did happen this week - the Prop 8 ban was lifted! I actually teared up a little with that hopeful feeling again that people will open up their fucking minds. Promptly after that one of my dearest friends popped the question to his partner of many many years - I love them both so very much and am looking forward to being a bridesmaid :)
I got a Brazilian blow out last week - a part of my major attempt at change. It didnt take. Nice huh? The gal who did it is very sweet and wants me to come back next week at no charge and she's trying again. I keep hearing such great things about these and I'd really like for it to work! So, we'll see. Lets hope I can say goodbye to frizz!
It also seems like I'm going through another realization about some of the people that surround my life. There is always the true test constantly of who your friends really are. Its hard when people disappoint you. I do find it interesting though when you see the true side of people and realize who they actually can be. I'm glad to state that I still think I'm a very good person and an even better friend. I'm real. I'm loyal. I'm honest. I'm low drama and laid back. I'm usually up to try anything. I'm apparently pretty entertaining as well. I'm amazed all the time when people put on such a front. Well, it always eventually cracks and the "real" you comes out and alot of the times isnt very appealing. So I feel pretty damn good about myself that there isnt - nor will there ever be - a front or a fakeness about me. I'm me. I'm real. This is who I am. I'm not perfect. I'm going through a really lengthy rough phase right now. I also can be brutally honest. But there are people who love me for that. And that means the world. Right now I need alot of support and its really interesting to see those who are truly supportive and those who are not.
I guess life is about change. My rough patch has been going on for quite sometime, but realllly workin on gettin out of that. Quitting smoking will be huge. I'm sure that will lead my fat ass into being more active. I register for OCC on August 16 - unfortunately I may be taking underwater basketweaving just to get in the door but I'm goin back. My career counsler suggest I look into Speech Therapy. Interesting.
I'm trying so hard to cut back financially and find more ways to make some dough. It helps alot to fantasize about where my life could be in a year or two or four. I'm workin on it and I love those standing by my side while I do it.
I got some things comin up to look foward too. A wedding I'm super excited about, another wedding in the works, Street Fair, bike rides, more summer weather, a quick San Fran trip, football season, some free concerts and picnics, maybe kickball, maybe softball, a charity cook off, some farmers markets, photo play dates, etc etc and etc.
I got through this crazy week. I can get through more.