Love...

So as I was writing my last blog I started in about love.
For a long time I thought I was incapable of love. I had realized I was never truly in love with my ex husband. I see these people fall in love all the time, and I started to wonder....can I love? I joke that I have no soul, and that I'm dead inside (its ok...its funny when used) but I was starting to worry that maybe that was true.
Well. Its not. I've just never been in love with a man I dated/married/was involved with..etc.
But I do know what love feels like.
Writing my last blog was proof of that as I fought through tears to write it. Love is when you love someone so much it hurts. At least this is my defanition. I do truly love my family and some of my closest friends. Love so very much. When they hurt, I hurt. When someone hurts them - watch the fuck out - I will make you regret the day you ever hurt someone I love. (Yes, there's a little of the feisty Irish in me). But its true.
You can love the furry companions as well. Whenever I talk about those awful days I lost my precious Panther and Gizmo I still tear up...and its years later. Now when my little fuzzballs look into my eyes - my heart pangs with love.
I wish sometimes love didnt hurt so much. But I think thats part of it. Its raw. Its a true feeling from deep down in your soul. Love. Its real. Its not hearts and music and fluffy and pink - its real. Truly so real. And I'll repeat - raw.
I love it. I really do hope that I can find that kind of love in a relationship someday. Maybe I wont. I dont know. But I certainly wont ever settle for less than that.
I'm a very lucky person to have so many people in my life that I love so much. My mom. My dad. My brother. My grandparents. My girlfriends - you know who you are - who love me for who I am no matter what, who are there for me and who I would do anything for.
That raw love. There's nothing like it.