So last nite was almost a very cool eve out with someone special. Laughing, talking, Dolce & Gabana sunglasses, ANTM, and wine invovled. But something hit me that I felt I must vent a bit about here in my place of rambling, writing, venting, etc etc etc....
(In fact I warn this may not make sense, but may end up more of a purging of thoughts....)
Honestly I'm not a hugely political person. I'm really not. I'm probably one of the least political beings in my theater dept. I'm really just a simple minded gal who wants to love life and live it and try to bring positive and light to the world. Yup...I'm a fucking tree huggin hippie ok! But I do have things I feel passionate about, and there are certain times the little political nature I do have comes to the surface. Our economy has taken a major dive. Bush has basically fucked right up. We're in an unnessasary war that we need to get the hell out of. On and on and on and everyone has already heard all of this and already knows.
This current upcoming election tho gives me a small - very small - ray of hope. I'm not particulary in love with Obama, but I like him. McCain and his white trash princess can fuck right off. I'm not a conservative. I'm not close minded. I'm not judgemental. I'm not religious. I'm not racist. I live in Orange County but I do not live "behind the orange curtain". I actually hate the fact that I live in a county thats majority republican. I also hate the fact that I live in "The OC" which has pretty much been deemed as the upper class, socialite, snooty, cosmetically enhanced, rich, white, conversative, vane place EVER it seems! Anyway...I'm getting off the subject.
I know one person cant change things. But they can start. Their party and thier co-horts can. Things can start to improve. Change can happen. It has too or this country is going to go down in flames. Its scary as hell. My class - where me and most of my family and friends fall - is going to suffer. I supposed you'd call us lower working class? We're fucked. People who have money will not be affected - they never are - . Like that phrase "The rich get richer and the poor get poorer".
Last nite as we were walking into a restaurant, 2 women in front of us were laughing and clutching each other. They turn to us "Dont worry - we're not lesbians, we're just mother and daughter!". Um ok. What the fuck ever. Then the mother proceeds to say - "And vote McCain! He's the only way things will change!" I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at her. "Oh, your both democrats arent you!". "She is" my date says. "Well, vote repulican!" the woman says and they head inside. I felt like I got slapped in the face. The angry, firey, tempermental Irish nature flooded into my face and I wanted to punch her so hard in the face until she apologized for being so fucking rude. I also felt extremly stupid for not saying something or coming back with something witty or nasty or SOMETHING. I think I was just taken aback that some old rich bitch and her fucking daughter have the nerve to throw that in my face. He says "Why are you so upset?". I cant respond right away. The host leads us to our seats - you can sit over here where the beautiful fire place is and its a bit cozy or over here and points to the other side. The 2 women are in the area where the fireplace is. "Way over there please," I say getting as far away from them as I can. Also a little miffed that where I would have rather sit has been tainted by these women. We sit. We start in a bit...I cant argue politics. I just cant. I feel so passionate about certain things, I get upset, I get heated. He doesnt understand. He and I have completly different views. Thats fine, but when I'm worked up like that I"ve realized I just cant. I excuse myself to the restroom where I burst into tears.
Why did I get so upset! Why did I let those stupid women get under my skin!!! I was so furious. I compose myself and return. We do discuss some more somewhat rationally as I try to prove my arguement but its hard. Its very very hard. I'm not good with words and while I'm not an idiot, I'm not the most knowledgable person eithier.
The night took an upward turn because he cares and hes sweet and he actually enjoys when I get fired up and so we moved on forgetting for a while, and having some fun. But I cant help but say, its got to me. Our society. Our world. Our economy. All the stuff I've read, heard, watched about the elections. Its been growing. Its been getting to me. Stabbing at my soul and heart. It finally got to me last nite. I had nightmares all night.
Godammit I wish I had the power to save the world. But I dont.
1 comment:
You do. We all do. Person by person. We teach them. With art. With argument. With reasoning. With frustration. It's hard. There is so much evil. It's so hard to fight it all. You were frustrated and at a loss for words. It's OK. There will be another chance. We do it person by person. Keep the faith.
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