Post - SAH, if you've forgotten what that means click here, I am really jumping onto this train. Over the past 5 years I've been trying meditation, reading different self help type things, starting to see a therapist, learning how to deal with being an empath. I still have no idea what I'm doing but I thought I'd start to jot things down. Since it's a bit scattered I'll bullet point my thoughts.
This got inspired by the book I'm currently reading - The book of Joy. I mean it's the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. Check it out - Book of Joy.
- One of the things that made me raise an eyebrow was when the author talks about meeting with the Scientist, Richard Davidson. He says there are 4 separate circuits that influence our lasting well being. 1 - "ability to maintain a positive state". 2 - "ability to recover from negative states. 3 - "ability to focus" and 4 - ability to be generous.
- Ok - first of all #1 and #2 are different circuits. I find that fascinating and explains a lot about how I am and deal with things. I'm a very positive person, especially now. I get so happy and caught up when good things happen. But when there is a low I have a hard time crawling out of that. I also find #4 to be fascinating as well. It is wired in our fucking brains to help others. This is why people rally together when tragedies happen. It's naturally in us. It's why we feel good when we help others, someone helps us or we witness this type of thing. The book also goes into talk about how the West Coast mentality unfortunately isn't like this as much as it should be. We live in a stressed society, worrying about bills, jobs, etc. Our society rewards power, money and greed.
- The book also talks about how we are people through other people. We need those connections. This makes sense to me - I need my friends/family to get through life. I really believe that is why I so desperately want to find a companion. I'm currently in a relationship with a man who has a beautiful compassionate heart and that's what attracted me most to him. I hope we work out, because I'm so happy being in a relationship with someone I can share my hopes and dreams with. There is also a part that talks about scientists have proven that we need love to survive. After birth, if the child is isolated without the mother or physical touch it can be very harmful. They have found that a mothers caress triggers activity that improves cognition and resilience to stress in a baby's developing brain. There it is! We. Need. Touch. It reminded me of a blog I wrote awhile back called Human Contact.
- At the end of the chapter that addresses Envy there is a lovely prayer by Jinpa I thought I would share: As for suffering I do not wish even the slightest; as for happiness I am never satisfied. In this, there is no difference between others and me. Bless me so I may take joy in others' happiness.
- It discusses the eight pillars of joy: Four of the mind - Perspective, humility, humor and acceptance. Four of the heart - Forgiveness, gratitude, compassion and generosity.
- There's a whole chapter about Humor. It talks about how humor helps people relate to each other and diffuse tense situations. I love at the end of the chapter when Archbishop says "But I believe very fervently that one of the ways of getting into the hearts of people is the capacity of making them laugh. If you are able to laugh at yourself, then everyone knows your not pompous.". I love that! It makes me feel like I'm on the right path with my sense of humor. I do believe that people enjoy it and I'm so glad I have that gift to share!
- At one point they talk about employers - and how if you treat your employees like friends/family rather than just a paying staff it makes a huge difference. I can so agree with this, because when Carol was my boss here, I wanted to do well. I tried harder. I cared. I wanted to be the best employee and make her proud. Ever since she's left and this organization could give 2 shits about their employees - I've lost all that spirit. I come to work, do my job, go home. I don't care. I don't try harder. I'm over it.
- Another point is made about joy. A reader asks "How can you have joy when there is so much suffering in the world?" This is one I struggle with as well, but The Archbishop says - "It helps no one if you sacrifice your job because others are suffering. We people who care must be attractive, must be filled with joy, so that others recognize that caring, that helping and being generous are not a burden, they are a joy."
- More people care out there than not. When you want to be generous, when you want to help when you want to spread kindness you'll find it's so easy and people will come out to help you.
- Reading this book really helped me retrain my focus back on spreading kindness and compassion as best as I can. Our country is in a terrible situation right now with so much hate being fueled and it seems to just get worse every day. There are days I just want to give up on hope but I just can't. It will get better. In the meantime us kindness activists need to keep working!
I don't know if this blog is really anything other than me throwing down some thoughts, but I wanted to put it out there. I have to live my life this way. I don't know how else to. I may not be fighting at the front lines, or at every protest going on but I'm here and I'm listening. I'm doing what I can to make the world a better place and I truly believe that there is more good in the world than bad. It's harder to see. As Mr. Rogers wants said - "Look for the helpers." We're here.
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