A night with Henry Rollins...

I'm a big fan of Henry Rollins.  No question.  I wasn't huge into Black Flag but I dug the Rollins Band.  But what really turned me on to Henry Rollins was his passion for change and preserving the good in humanity.  You wouldn't expect this from an angry Punk Band frontman and he jokes about that often.  But the man has grown into an intelligent, passionate, compassionate, fiery artist.  He's an actor, an author, a DJ, VO artist and tours the world as a spoken word artist.  The man is busy.

My dear friend Shannon works at Soka University and contacted me last week saying "Hey, Henry Rollins is speaking at Soka.  Want to be my guest?"  Um...is a 4 pound Robin fat?!  So last night as the sky started to spit out some of our much needed rain I headed down to South County to meet Shan and her mans for dinner.  We then headed over to Soka for the pre-show reception.  OH MY GOD.  You mean I may get to meet Henry?  My heart started pounding.

Let me side step here and say I'm sort of socially awkward.  I'm not good at talking to people I don't know.  I get uncomfortable and I feel weird.  Most people who know me would say otherwise because I am a social butterfly, but when you don't know me and haven't accepted me for the jabber mouth dork I am then I don't know how to talk to you.  Flirting - I'm a joke.  Meeting celebrities - I'm even worse!  I don't know why...but I will all of a sudden forget everything I know about you and just stand there staring at you with a stupid ass grin on my face.  Something like this:

It's pathetic.  But I can't help it.  So we hear someone shout "Ladies and Gentlemen welcome Henry Rollins!"  I turn around.  OH. MY. GOD. HE'S. RIGHT. THERE.  My heart started pounding even harder.  I clutched my wine like a life raft.  Shannon and Aric kept saying - "Go get your picture with him!".  I couldn't do it.  My heart was actually trying to launch itself from my chest.  I forgot my name.  WTF.  Finally I gulped a big sip and pulled my phone out to be ready.  I started to make my way over, but couldn't do it.  I took a stalker photo instead.

 I just stood there staring and listening to the stories he was telling people.  I was shaking.  Shan finished up her work stuff and came over and nudged us closer.  Shan is great with people.  When he looked our way she got him over and thanked him for coming, etc.  She then turned and introduced me.  I died.  He turned to me and smiled.  I blushed fiercely and reached out my shaking hand mumbling something along the lines of "You're such an inspiration, so nice to meet you."  Shan then posed us for a picture and turned us toward Aric who was ready with my phone and BAM:

Me and Henry Rollins.  ME AND HENRY ROLLINS!  HENRY ROLLINS HAS HIS ARM AROUND ME!  Seriously I didn't even realize that until I looked at the picture.  Dying.  Shan then continued chatting with him as I took a few pics of her, her boy and him and then he was pulled away to other gaping VIPs.  I was so damn excited I could have peed.  After this I was able to relax and get excited for the show.  I met a few of Shan's friends and we were then shepherded ahead of the GA folks and got to take our seats 1st.  I could so seriously get used to VIP.

We were 3rd row center!

I snapped one more quick selfie of the soon to be Mr. & Mrs. before I turned my phone off and got ready to give Mr. Rollins my full attention.

I have read his stuff, followed his Twitter, heard a podcast or two but never seen him live.  He was awesome.  He came out to a packed excited house and talked non stop for an hour and half, bitching that he only got an hour and a half.

He talked mostly of his travels.  The man has been all over the damn place.  He talked about how he likes to go to countries and just walk.  Meet the people.  Not tour.  He talks about how people are so friendly and welcoming wherever he goes.  He talked about how he loves to learn from all these people.  Help these people.  He talked about how we have to go to these places without the "Western" mindset.  That it's different everywhere.  That when he thought he was helping a tent village by bringing them soap and soccer balls he actually caused a ruckus.  He found out later that each village has a church or an "alpha" that you need to go through and they distribute the goods evenly avoiding the riot mentality that can happen.  He learned.  It humbled him.  He talked about how he had more fun riding solo with a bus driver in Cuba when he missed the group he was supposed to go with and how in a matter of seconds and a few handshakes Cuba and America can be friends.  He then said when you know these people, meet them, learn from them it's harder to bomb them.  My heart leapt and tears sprung into my eyes.  No shit.

He talked about how our country is fueled by greed and corruption.  How we can afford to build more weapons and drones but not schools.  How we need to get out there and vote even though it's messy.  Small change can lead to big change.  He talked about how fucked up climate change is.  It's scary.  Man is it scary.

He talked about his piece of shit father.  But then spoke of his mother who took him all over the world and taught him about other places, and to learn about other places.  He talked about when he returns from his travels how surreal it is to go from a poor starving community back home and driving down the street to Trader Joes.  He said we all need passports and those of us who cant (raises hand) to learn about your local community.

He talked about his anger.  Here is where his talk spoke to me the most.  He talked about how angry he is at the people who try to perverse the good in humanity.  How he is an angry person but he has learned to channel that to do good, he now parallels his anger with curiosity.  He talked about how we are not "we".  "We" as a country are never going to all come together and agree.  But us as individuals can.  "I count on you!" he said pointed a strong finger to the crowd.  "You can change things.  You can make a difference."  He then went on to say that no, we can't change the world.  But we can change worlds.  We can change one persons world by helping them, giving them a sandwich, supporting non profits.  I almost burst into tears.

See - I've been battling with this lately a lot.  Yes, the upcoming elections and the way the direction our world seems to be going with so much hate and horrific things out there make my little trying to be kind.  Trying to only affect what's directly around me mentality break.  I have been wondering if I am doing any good at all.  Why bother.  It has been weighing heavily on me and I fight it but I was losing.  Listening to him speak last night fired me back up and I won again.  He's right.  I can't change the fucking world.  But dammit I can go down fighting!  It's ok to be angry!  I just need to channel it.  Like I was.  Like I do.  By spreading kindness.  By practicing compassion.  It's ok to be upset.  To be pissed.  It fuels me.  I don't have to be the happy go lucky fluff ball of love because I didn't fucking die.  I'm that way in my heart but my personality is fiery and Irish and sarcastic and yes,  angry sometimes.  And that's ok.

I needed to hear this man who inspires me excitedly shout into the mic what I already know.  My heart swelled.  The Q&A afterwards, one of the gals kept saying - how can you stay positive amidst all this shit?  All this awful stuff going on in the world.  How do you do it?  There was a desperation in her voice and I got it.  I felt her pain.  He just agreed and said yes, it's fucked up but now I channel that anger along with curiosity and do what I can.  That's all you can do.  It's what you can.

Henry Rollins is humble, compassionate, funny, caring, loud, angry, excited, passionate.  He's an incredibly magnetic speaker.  I was completely engaged until he scooted out during our standing ovation to hit the lobby to sign fans stuff.  As we walked out the line was huge.  Eager fans clutching books, posters, shirts, one had a guitar - waiting for this incredible man to sign their stuff and maybe exchange a few more intimate words with him.

I'm so grateful I had this opportunity.  I'm so grateful Shannon brought me as her guest.  I'm so grateful I got to meet him before the show rather than battle the after show madness (even though I couldn't make words when he looked at me as he shook my hand).  I am so grateful his mother raised him right.  I'm so grateful there is someone like him out there in the world firing people up to do good in the world.  I am also truly grateful that he helped settle my worried mind and made me feel like I am going in the right direction and not to question my intentions.  I will continue to stay positive and if it comes with a fight, bring it.