January 24 Writers Book of Days...

Write about leaving.

When I saw this assignment and the first thing that comes to mind is when I left my husband.
Its really the only time that felt like leaving. Leaving a life I thought was going to work out, that we'd be happy, that I'd be married to this man the rest of my life.
This was that morning.
I woke up and something was wrong. He had been falling back again, keeping things from me, the lies, the dis-trust, it was flowing back slowly. Painfully. I didnt want to accept what I already knew. He left early. He said he had a meeting. I came downstairs. Something isnt right. I began too look around for the satchel that he swore he'd left at work. The satchel that supposedly carried the proof he was working, proof he was paying his bills, etc etc. Our therapist had suggested he show these things to me regulary. It had been a few months. I walked into the garage. There it was. Underneath some things. Underneath some of the drug paraphanalia he had said he stopped. I pulled it out. Out spilled overdue bills. So many. I carried it inside, set it on the counter and called him. There was a silence at the other end of the line. He knew this was the end. He fucked up for the last time. He hadnt been working for 3 months.
I hung up the phone and turned. The time on the microwave blinked a bright green 6:45. I walked outside, sat on the ground of my patio and started to cry. My neighbor's teenage angry daughter had a fight with her mother about 20 minutes earlier. Her room faced my patio and she had Lincoln Park's song "Numb" on repeat and was screaming along to the loud music. How appropriate. I called my job to tell them I was not coming in today. I then called my mother.
She calmed me down, and suggested some things I do. I added up the total amount we owed. I didnt have that money. I called him again, he was to call his rich relative to borrow the amount. I called all the companies telling them the money was coming. My roomate came downstairs and I broke the news to him. He hugged me and left for work. My husband came home. We talked. We cried. He was to leave until I moved out. I couldnt look at him.
Within a few weeks I had found another place to live. My roomate and I and our pets all moved out and I left the marriage I tried so hard to fix. A marriage that was un-fixable. A marriage that was never meant to be. This was one of the most painful moments in my life. My heart was broken, shattered. I was confused and angry. I did nothing wrong. I left. I left a part of my life that was tearing me apart and sending me down a spiraling finanical hole. But I left. I will never forget that morning.