Goodbye RGTC...

Last night I was a part of a reading of Seven Jewish Children by Carol Churchill. This was a benefit performance for medical aide for palestians. This was also the last thing to be done at my beloved Rude Guerrilla Theater Company. 30 or so of us past and current RG members stood in groups in 4 corners of the stage. Our soon to be mommy sat center stage. The play is in 7 different sections. In between each section were video segments. We each had about 4 or 5 lines throughout the show. Each section we'd take different parts around the stage standing or sitting and read our lines. At the end of the piece the 2nd to last line "Tell her we love her" - each one of us separatly walked up to mommy and said the line to her. Some hugging, some kissing, touching - me personally touched baby Bella with tears in my eyes as I choked out my line. It was beautiful. The emotion in the theater that night was intense. I had no idea I'd be such a wreck. My Alexander came up and hugged me and held me as we waited for the applause both of us with crocidile tears rolling down our cheeks. I dont think any of us had a dry eye.

Immediatly afterward I went out back and shook with tears. My creative home is no longer.

It is a transition. I look foward to another collective group already in the works by our former AD. But this was hard.

I was a part of the very 1st show RG ever did. I left for a few years then came back. Served as liason for a year, then joined the board only resigning last year when my life took its nasty turn. My baby Beirut was produced there. I got to play a fuckdog, a sociopath killer, a 60's icon, a lesbian, a hot elf and Mrs. Claus, a bitter wife, a struggling newlywed, a Bosnian little sister, Blue, a Marilyn Monroe new yorker, and more. I made some of my closest most dearest friends there. I shed so much blood, sweat and tears there. I actually sang onstage.

It seems my life is taking some major blows lately. LOTS of transition. LOTS of change. I know this will be good, and new but right now its hard. I think last night the dams broke. I cried harder last night as I drove home then I have in a long while. So many hugs and tears last night but so much encouragement. Looking forward to new things. A new life. I'm trying so hard to take this in stride. Lets just say my life is a helluva roller coaster right now and I'm hanging on for dear life.

Goodbye Rude Guerrilla. A part of my heart will always be with you.

Now onto the next phase. Hang on for the ride....