Coachella 2011...

Sadly I was physically a little out of sorts this past weekend for the Coachella. This whole not smoking thing is actually fucking me up hard core. So, I didn’t take notes, and I didn’t take very good pictures since I had no idea how to work mom's camera that I took. Alas, this blog will be a blog of highlights of the 3 day trip to the desert to hear a ridiculous amount of music and check out some weird art.
Coachella 2011:
BANDS:
Friday
Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears - my surprise fave. Fucking awesome funky band with a little jazz, a little rock, a little blues, some brass and even a lil Jimi move at the end.
Ozomatli - Funky and fun!
Cee Lo Green - was 20 minutes late, and the peeps literally turned him off when his time was up. Oops!
Tame Impala - Lovely
Lauryn Hill - surprisingly fantastic! She was rumored to be a train wreck, but honestly did a fantastic job.
Cold War Kids - Great set.
Interpol - Faboo
Sleigh Bells - Adorable.
The Black Keys - fucking awesome - my other favorite of the night.
Kings of Leon - played well, but just boooooring.
Saturday
Joy Formidable - reminded me a lot of Sia. Not my cup of tea music wise, but she was adorable to watch.
Freelance Whales - one of my faves. So lovely, so happy!
Trampled by Turtles - so awesome, would love to try to see them again somewhere.
Gogol Bordello - of course one of my fave bands of all times. Loooooove them! But my calves hate them.
Erykah Badu - I was so sad. She actually didn’t do that great of a set. She was having major sound issues and I just couldn’t get into her :(
Cage the Elephant - another disappointment, but I don’t really blame them - I blame where we were sitting. I think if we were more in the mix it would have been a better set.
Elbow - I thought I was watching Peter Gabriel. An absolutely gorgeous performance. So mellow, so beautiful. Brought T to tears.
Mumford & Sons - My fave of the night! So sweet, so lovely, so happy, huuuuge crowd. They played perfectly!
Animal Collective - not my fave music wise, but they did put on a trippy set.
Arcade Fire - Beautiful. They were happy and on it and brought it. Loved them!
Sunday
Jimmy Eat World - love them. They were so much fun and another very happy set!
Fistful of Mercy - Another surprise. I know Ben Harper, but not this band - loved them. They harmonized wonderfully!
Foster the People - My fave of the day. They put on a great set and didn’t play one of their hits!!
Duran Duran - they rocked it of course, but honestly did you expect any different?
Chromeo - very fun.
The Strokes - played all their hits, but still loved listening to them.
PJ Harvey - very cool, especially her last couple of songs where she pretty much turned into a rockstar.
Kayne West - Sorry..just don’t get it.
ART:
The Creators Project is a global culture and technology community created by Intel and Vice, showcasing artists. They partnered with a few bands to create some gnarly visual experiences. The opening of Animal Collective's set was insane. The sound started as a low rumbling and got louder and louder and louder like a rocket about to take off. It vibrated the entire grounds and the light show literally looked like the main stage was going to explode. I actually considered running for my life briefly. It was pretty intense! For Arcade Fire - a giant container was held above the stage by a crane and during one of their hits opened up and all these giant white balls fell out onto the crowd. They looked like balloons but bigger. The crowd went wild and from our vantage point you didn’t even see the people anymore, just white balls bouncing around like a giant bubble bath. They also lit up and changed colors! So beautiful!
There was something called the Bugaboo Zoo which was giant bugs created out of bamboo and they lit up at night! There was a huge pagoda that was gorgeous and a nice escape from the sun. Something called Candelaphytes which looked like giant fishtales and moved very slinky like in the wind. The Reel Mobile looked like a giant reel to reel player and it lit up at night also. Music blasted from it all day. One of my faves was Wish - a giant sculpture that looked liked dandelions made up of mirrors and glass. These also lit up at nite. The land sharks of course were back. I love those fucking things! As well as the Balloon Chain. There was a crazy electric volted coil thing that turned on every now and again that was pretty trippy. There were many other things but those are what I caught.
PEOPLE:
Lots of Indians, a couple dressed like characters from CATS, a full on bunny suit, people in underwear, Lots of gals in bathing suits, I think all the men worked out this year cuz there was a lot of great bodies out there. Not gonna lie. I was dying. Many of the usual e-tard kids all glow sticked and make up'd out. A dude in a blue body suit. A couple that decided to have sex right in the middle of everything while I was watching The Strokes. My favorite was watching the people walk by glancing at them then realizing what they were actually doing. ALOT of pot. I think I came home with a contact high. The one thing I would like to point out though, is with 90,000 people I've never seen a fight, I heard there were only 20 arrests on Friday and the worst thing that happened was some chick tried to jump off the Ferris Wheel (Yes she was on drugs and someone caught her dumbass by the ankles so she was ok). It’s truly amazing to me to see that many people all just enjoying everything. People are happy, dancing, chill (yes lots of drunks and drugs but still!), it really is just a giant festival of art and music and brings people together to enjoy just that. That is what truly blows my mind every year.
CONS:
I would give my left leg for a fucking chair. My back just cannot handle sitting on the ground or standing for 3 days in the desert. My allergies were complete shit due to the dust/grass. It’s hot as fuck. Not enough water stations. The crowds do get a little much at times. And always remember to get a locker. It kinda blew carrying everything around this year. It will also cost you your ass. Food and booze is quite expensive. Throw in your tix price and the hotel and you just might as well bend over. Another bummer is the bands - not them personally - but them all playing at the same damn time and you more often than not have to only catch part of sets so you can book it somewhere else to catch another. So the cons aint all that bad, but just be prepared for those sorts of things. The parking is waaaaaaaaaaaay better than last year, they do seem to have a handle on how to handle the crowds a bit better so that was pretty awesome. They did the layout slightly different this year that made a big difference. They need to work out some sound issues (sometimes heavy base can be heard while you’re trying to listen to something else) but they are doing their best to get it right and they are defiantly going in the right direction.
QUOTES:
(This section is of course mainly for my 2 beautiful co-horts, but you may find it amusing)
"When she's wheeze laughing, you know it’s funny"
"I can’t see through my tears"
"You got a tent? I got a pony!"
"Jami's the heavy, I'm the mule"
"Where's that metal pole, Jami will trip on it"
"This is why I can’t play golf" (Visual. Patti)
"Jesus" (Visual. T's face)
"Did he pee?"
"Cookie DeFranks"
I'll try to add more as I remember them, or the girls remind me.
CLOSING:
It’s a pretty gnarly weekend. The music is phenomenal. You always find new music. The atmosphere is a trip. It’s a modern day Woodstock. Your just not in the real world for 3 days. You’re in a blurry haze of music, art, people, heat, exhaustion, emotions, food, booze, laughter and tears. There's nothing like it. So goodbye Coachella 2011. Will I see you next year? Who knows. God pass anyone?

R.A.D....

Well, as you saw by my last blog...Warrior Dash. A few days prior to that I took a R.A.D. Self Defense Class. This stands for Rape Aggression Defense. Since I've been on a kick to do active interesting things as of late (Sadly my financial situation will be slowing this down ALOT) I figured this class would be a go. Its free. Its through the public safety department at my work. Why not? Its a 3 day class - 4 hours a nite after work. The 1st nite was lecturing about rape. No means no. Etc. We had about 8 gals in our class. I'm not going to say I was bored. But I have no problem being aggressive. I know no means no. Some douche bag tries to test that, he only will once. I'm just not that girl. But - I think this class is perfect for girls who need something like this. The 2nd night was our instructor teaching us all the techniques. The first being how to yell. She tested me, laughed and said "Good voice!" "Actor" I responded. But most of the girls had a hard time with this. Then the fight styles. Very similar to karate. I aced it of course. Not to brag, but I've trained to box, took karate for a few years and am just a feisty girl as you all know. I took to this like a fish to water. All the other girls were so amazed by my strength, how hard I punched and kicked and how skilled I was. I was flattered, but modest too - trying to convince these women I've had training - you have not - theres a difference. Day 3 we fight the R.A.D. men. These are 2 cops padded to the nine that attack us in 3 different scenarios - we fight back proving we learned how to defend ourselves in class. I was surprised that all the girls (even the one who took the class before) were nervous! Some of them were saying "I"m not going to be able to fight. I'm too weak. I'm too scared. I'm embarrased. We want to watch you fight Jami!". I was in awe. The 8 of us stood together in the hallway with padded helmuts, elbow braces, knee braces and hand things and all the girls were so scared. I was so excited! I tried to pump them up. "Its going to be awesome!" "We get to fight these guys! For real!" "Your are all going to do so well!!!" We started being taken into the room one by one. We were not allowed to see the gals fight before us, but were able to stay and watch the ones fight after us. This of course was to keep us from seeing what scenario we were walking into.
The 1st scenario we were "At an ATM at night" Our goal in all 3 scenarios is to get away. There was a taped off area, and once we passed a certain part we were "free". 1st dude comes up behind, bear hugs you and takes you to the ground. None of us were expecting that. We didnt really practice for that one. (I actually thought he just lost his balance) I found out later, I was the only one he didnt get a grip on. An old move from karate and my dad I leared was to arch, so as we were going down I did just that and rolled with him then right off him. I kicked him in the head and took off. I met the dude 2 blocking my way, and I also found out I was the only one that ran right at him instead of trying to run around him. I leaped up and punched his head, knocking him down (I dont believe he was expecting that) and literally ran over him to my spot. The 2 gals who watched me shrieked with excitement. Scenario 2 we were "Walking in a park". I honestly dont really remember what I did here...but 4 of the girls were in this time and thier cheering made me feel great, knowing I did something pretty cool :). Scenario 3, which is the video you see here (and I think after you watch mine, you can see the other girls if you like). We were to stand there with our eyes closed until one of the dudes actually touched us. When I saw this video I realized why all the other girls were cheering me on, and loving to watch me fight. I do just that. I fight. Hell I got so in to it I almost fall over from the momentum I had going after the guy! ha ha!! Unfortunatly I did hurt one of them they told me later, I guess I caught him pretty good across the temple. Ooops! :)
I was quite proud of how well I did in this class, and how strong I actually am. The cops teased me later on saying I should join the UFC and calling me Mohammed Ali. They also used me as an example alot with the others girls, saying I was an exception. I was strong and quick.
But this is what really stuck out with me in this class. The other girls. The change in them after our fights. These girls, these timid girls who couldnt yell, who were so nervous to fight, who didnt think they could actually fight the cops - Kicked Ass!!! I felt like a proud mama watching these girls do such a great job, remembering what the instructor taught them. Fighting. Yelling. Doing so well. And best of all thier beaming smiles at the end of class, thier confidence!!!
These are girls that might have frozen up if they were ever attacked, thinking they could not defend themselves and now know they can fight back.
This has inspired me. I emailed my instructor telling her I was interested in being an instructor. Every women should take this class, especially those who are timid and shy and weak and dont think they can defend themselves. It was a great experience, and I'm so happy these girls did so well!!!!

Warrior Dash 2011...

Months back I heard of this thing called Warrior Dash. I've been trying to add all kinds of active things into my life lately (Pole Dancing, Burleque, Circus Fitness, Zumba, Self Defense, etc). I'll keep you posted on how they all turn out - but today I did Warrior Dash 2011. I plan on doing another blog about the Self Defense Class as well (Did that a couple days ago...but I only have energy for one right now). Anywhoo.
I sent out one of my "Hey wanna do this with me?" emails to some peeps about this Dash and ended up with a great group of 9. (We had a few others that unfortunatly dropped out at the last minute). Most of us met at my place early this morning to get out to Lake Elsinore by 10am. Our wave was 11am. One friend did it last year, and 2 friends had done a mudd run before but I have never done anything like this. The only thing I was a little concerned about was the running. I dont run. I cant actually. Ever since I blew my knee apart, running is not possible for me. It also kills my back, and honestly I just dont like it. But this particular event was obviously geared towards people who just want to have a good time no matter what size or shape you are and no matter what kind of physical shape your in. So I was game. The obstacles are what excited me. Its like playing fort or playing on a giant playground!
We all caravan out and pull into the parking lot quite excited. We slap on sun block (Most of us...I'm laughing at the ones now sunburned) gather only our nessasary items and head up. As we walk into the area, there is a group of people in red tee's cheering us on. We check in, get our warrior gear and hang out taking before pictures until its time for our wave. We all gether together with 700 other people (There was supposedly 700 per wave) do a 1-2-3 WARRIORS! Cheer and they blast 2 huge columns of fire and we slowly start to trot. As any marathon, the group starts to spread out and me, my coworker and my roomie end up sticking together as the rest of our crew takes off ahead. I attempt to run for a bit, but this doesnt last. My knee starts barkin (I did wear my brace!!) and I opt for speed walking. The nice part is my 2 companions are little tiny women so they can still jog to my speed walking.
1st obstacle is a giant hay stack. The group is still kind of thick so we have to wait for people to climb over it, but we score it pretty easy. Next up smashed up cars with tires you run through in between. As I grab the corner of one of the crunched cars to hop over, I slice my thumb. It was a tiny little cut but it bled like a bitch. We then ran thru some mud, my co-worker almost ate it. Then some walls showed up, about 3-4 feet high we had to hop over, then go under barb wire, then over the wall, etc. We then came up to a wall with ropes hanging down we had to climb up and over. Next up I believe was this awful rope box thing we had to go thru. My brace came undone and kept getting caught. A lovely fellow runner that looked like Julia Stiles kept rescuing me. After that we ran across some beams over a ravine, then up a rocky hill. Unfortunatly my knee torked a bit here, but didnt get too bad. We then ran into the lake and had to jump over logs in the water. I of course turned to check on my friend and fell head first into the water. Yup. After that was a rope climb thing that went up, across then down. I opted to balance my way across the beam and did quite well. We then ran up another hill thing and started heading down the home stretch. By this point the water had made it extremly difficult for me and my co-worker friend and our shorts were falling down, so we were having to hold them up. Roomie at this point had gone on ahead to join up with 2 of our other crew. Then was the giant rope wall that we climbed and over which was a blast the we start toward the finish line. People are cheering and we hear our names...there's our mom, Keri and Amy shooting pictures. Then Tully shooting pics as he must have finished way before us. Not shocking. We leap over the fire and slosh thru the mudd. It was so squishy and weird!!! I'm laughing the whole time. We cross the finish line and I see photographers on ladders - I scream and give my best warrior cry hoping that'll make it into the photos of the Dash People. We rinse off in the lake, donate our nasty shoes to a charity, head to the car and change then chill in the beer garden eating BBQ beef, Turkey legs and beer.
It was a fucking blast.
Even though I'm not a runner, I smoked all the obstacles. They werent that difficult, but it felt great hopping over things or climbing walls way better then the people around me. I'm starting to accept my strength a little more, which I'll get more into during my self defense blog. But I did it. I did a 5K with random obstacles and a great group of friends. I'm enjoying this active kick I'm on. I'm not a marathon runner or a body builder or an athlete anymore, but keeping the random variety of active stuff is awesome.
I'm a Warrior!!!

My voice...

is gone.
Yup. Totally gone. Its the weirdest thing.
SO....I'm a bit furious because I'm sick AGAIN. Yes AGAIN!!!! I'm even more furious, because I do everything your supposed to do...I eat antioxident rich foods, I take vitamins, I get my rest, the second I feel just a little sick or off - I take airborne, echinacea I sleep more - I'M DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!!! I'm f-ing healthy right now! I excersise pretty regularly, I'm eating decently and yes I actually sleep now!!! I admit - I didnt used to - I lived the rockstar life, worked full time, went to school full time and was full time in theater - I'm smart now!!! But does it matter?? NOOOOOO!!!!! Because last Tue/Wed when I started feeling a little off...nothing big, little scratchy throat, kinda stuffy - I downed the airborne, took Zicam went to bed early - Took care of myself!!!!! Did it matter?? NO GODDAMMIT! Thursday rolls around I feel really crappy - I cancel my Thur nite plans and go to bed early - wake up Friday - sick. I call out of work, I cancel my Fri nite plans. I have a big weekend planned!!! I stay in bed all day, nursing myself, taking care of myself - DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS. Saturday comes - I feel better...still sick but better. I get my hair did. I come home and take a nap (like a good girl), I keep my Sat nite plans. I come home - die. I woke up about an hour after going to bed puking. Awesome. Sunday comes I'm half dead. I'm puking up mucus (yes I know...GROSS!), I have a splitting headache, stuffed nose, sore throat and no voice. I do not leave my bed all day and dont eat. Mom is actually feeling bad for me at this point and takes the best care of me she can. Monday comes - I call out of work and call the Dr. He's calls me in an antibiotic. I take it easy all Monday with no voice. I cancel my Mon nite plans (Poor kid - same one I cancelled on Thur!) I also cancel Tue nite plans. Today comes - I feel good enough to go to work. I actually still feel ok, but I have a knarly cough and STILL NO VOICE!
I have lost my voice before, or had that lovely man sounding voice for a day or two - but this is ridiculous. Mid conversation with a couple of my friends Sat nite the voice goes and its still not back. I'm getting a bit worried. You should have seen me at work today...thank GAWD I dont have to talk alot, but its hard! People are coming in with questions and laughing at my no voice or feeling sorry for me. I share an office with a fellow and we usually have small chit chat throughout the day - well thats gone. My mom keeps forgetting and shouting things at me from the other room...I have to walk in to mouth things at her and she laughs and shakes her head apologizing for forgetting.
Its so weird! I literally try to yell and this sad little gaspy noise comes out. Everytime I cough you hear the sad little horn sound that is now my sad shaky little voice that cracks or doesnt even make a sound. I thank the heavens I'm not in a show right now.
I miss my voice. I talk to myself alot - I'm not gonna lie. I talk to my cats. I talk to my mom. To friends, I call my brother at lunch. I call my grandparents every day...I havent been able to do any of this! I guess you never realize how much you love something until its gone?
Please...please all you energies in the universe...please let this be the last time I'm sick. I dont have time for this shit! I havent worked out in 2 weeks!!! Oh yeah - DID I MENTION I BROKE MY TOE LAST MON!!!
Seriously.
I actually start feeling good, getting my shit straight - training, eating good, etc etc etc and WHAM. Last week fucking blew.
Sigh.
I miss my voice.
I kinda want to yell right now.

Magic happened last night...

I had the awesome opportunity to be part of a very silly random night of theater, that reminded me why I love this art so much. There used to be a group of artists that got together and wrote, rehearsed, threw together a night of theater/music pretty much in a couple of days. This turned into an annual Adults Only Xmas Pageant. Well, its been a few years since they have done one and one of the crew decided to do it again and give the proceeds to MWC that is dark for a few months. Since it was the day before Valentine’s Day, it was centered around that. We got together a couple of times and threw around some ideas, then read some possible choices. We had an extremely energetic amazing director and the guy putting this together was nothing but eager and positive the whole time. The crew of actors are some of the much more seasoned actors of the OC Theater scene, and I was flattered to be among them. I was equally flattered when word got out about all that was involved and that made the buzz even greater and the comments going around like “Amazing cast!” “Best actors in OC” “What an talented group!”. Blushing, I realized I was one of them. We sort of had a rehearsal or two, but not really…then we all arrived early yesterday to get the thing together. The director arrived with the gaudiest of V-day décor and one of our writers/singers waltzed in with probably about 30-40 heart balloons. With the help of our faboo friends running the board and house the décor went up, a cue to cue was run, the musicians practiced and us actors were scurrying around trying to make costumes, props and hair all work together. Nerves and excitement were high. The house began to fill up, more rows were added – all the way up to the stage. Lets just say one couple got a very nice up close and personal view of my pasties. The musicians started the pre-show and the scurrying, excitement and energy blew up backstage. We all nailed our hilarious sketches, laughter filled the house. Our show probably ran 20 minutes longer due to the constant holding for uproarious laughter. We laughed our way through Fuck Family, my Palin monologue was a hit. The other bits were fantastic and funny and offensive and fun. The musicians were great and fun as well. The night ended with all of us at the curtains waiting for the final curtain call like ending. I looked around in the cramped room at all these talented people, drinking beers and wine, smiling and listening to one of our own playing guitar and singing to the heavens. I felt we were all one for just a minute, all happy, exhausted and ever so slightly moving to the music – and magic. That was the moment. This is why I love this. Especially this way, with these people. It was one of the funnest days of my life. We walked out onstage singing “All you need is Love” to cheers and applause. I couldn’t stop smiling. The evening ended on as good of a note when my bro and his wife, the roomie and a couple other actors landed at the Irish Pub across the way listening to an Irish Duo pretty much doing what I just finished. Silly, talented musicians (and adorable as all hell) singing to a mostly empty bar but you could tell they loved every moment. And earlier on this day, my prior blog explains how my day started.
February 13th, 2011 was a good day.

I love my Papa...

I know you all know this.
I know you all know I love this man so much it makes my heart hurt.
But I want to write a little blog about what happened today. Sunday's I'm on grandaughter duty and usually head over to my grandparents for a few hours to help them out since Sunday is the only day they dont have a care giver or ma there. Well mom relays to me last night, that Papa wanted me to pick up a dozen roses for gramma for Valentine's Day. He gets her roses every year, and since he cant get them himself now it has fallen into my hands. I choose to go to Albertson's because I REFUSE to hit a flower shop that is going to charge something equal to a mortgage payment for a shotty couple of flowers. I look at every single arrangement trying to find the best one. I of course probably take more time then I should have, but I wanted a pretty one. I finally settle on one set (Still a little irrirated at the price, but its less then a flower store) and make my purchase. I pick up Starbux for us all and head over. The front door is wide open, so I sneak around the back and put them down in a shady spot. I then come in the front with my usual hellos and slip the little card into Papa's hand telling him the flowers are outside. Gramma of course is wondering what he has and I shout out her to get her ass in the kitchen to help me out. She shuffles in mumbling that I dont need to be so bossy. (Nosey little butt). I stall her in there why I watch Papa struggle to fill write ont he little card. When gramma starts heading back in, I bee line for Pops who says he's done and wishes he could write better. I grab the card, tell gramma I forgot something in the car and run out to grab the bouqet. I look at the little card. All it says is "To My Love". Tears well up in my eyes. He loves her so much. I have to pause as I stare down at the little card with the shaky writing that says simply. "To My Love". I shake it off and prance in the door to gramma's beaming face. Papa is standing now, and she shuffles over to him saying this deserves a kiss. I go to the kitchen to add more water to the vase and not interrupt thier little moment. I hear the little lovey words and smooches behind me and smile. 96 years old and 92 years old and the love these two has for each other blows my mind every time. As I leave the house I break down crying. It's so hard to love someone so much. I hope everyone can.

Positive Injection Please...

I need it.
I'm feelin a bit low lately - not like I used to though!!! Lets just clarify that right now! Pretty much for the season of winter has always been a hard time for me, fighting through the cold crappy dry weather (yes for SoCal...) is a big part, but for some reason depression usually hits the hardest around this time. BUT! For the last...probably 3 years or so I havent had that problem. I was JUST talking with my roomie about that the other day, how glad I am I dont go through those really low points anymore. I believe growing and changing has stopped that but there are a few moments like now that I'm just feeling a little blue. So I'm going to whine a bit on this blog because I can.
I've slacked on the photo taking but there actually hasnt really been anything all that exciting going on anyway. I'm having a bit of a rough patch. I know being sick YES AGAIN!!!! is not helping. A little over a week ago, I got my yearly sinus infection. Unfortunatly I get these once a year it seems around this time. The left side of my face feels like mini knives are shooting through it, my left glad swells slightly and I get the awful ugly god forsaken fever blister on my lip. This is the only time in my life I become completely vain. I feel so ugly and embarrased (even though its not that bad, friends who know how much I want to crawl in a hole convince me its not that bad but still). I hate it. Then for some reason this time around - the fucking cold followed it up. Fri nite I started feeling blargh and bam - cold. Awesome. So here I type - sniffling and annoyed. I did actually to to my Dr. today - I had made a yearly appointment and happen to get sick beforehand. He's not too worried about the cold, doesnt know what to do with the sinus infection and thinks I'm peachy keen. I get bloodwork this week, but I'm probably fine. Except for the foot - I am to go to another Dr. to get that looked at and dealt with. Fuck. I'm not gonna lie...a lil freaked out about that.
I'm still in the show I am not enjoying, but only one more weekend left THANK GAWD. I didnt get cast in a show I really wantd to be in, I'm only a bitty part in this fundraiser I am really looking foward too so I'm fighting the acting inferiority complex and wonder if I've been wasting my life all these years. I've barely touched my camera and my notebook lies empty. Needless to say my creativity is not flowing right now and that is killing me. I'm lonley and confused with the boy scene as per usual and I did decide to go to Coachella which I'm excited about but did of course take a financial hit. Plus all thats going on in the world right now is ripping my heart apart.
So blah. There's the purge, a small portion of it because I dont even want to hear myself whine too much. Ugh. I do hate these phases, but this too shall pass right?
Lets some up some good stuff....A couple of people have noticed my working out paying off. I've gotten a couple of surprise compliments which makes me feel really good. (more please). A dear friend of mine is preggers with her 2nd...which weirdly I knew before she told me...then another good friend is preggers with her 1st...I had a dream about her being with kid before she told me...and did I mention I knew one of my co-workers was preggo months before she told me? She's calling me the baby whisperer. I surprised another dear friend for her bday dinner one nite - surrounded by ALOT of children and handled it quite well I might add. I caught up with a dude I love so much who I used to work at PSO with and we caught each other up on our new jobs, etc. A few dinners with other friends, catching up and celebrated my Papa's 96th birthday Fri nite. So its been a decent few weeks aside from fighting the depression.
So on ward and upward I hope. I know once I'm not sick and dont look like a diseased whore I'll perk up a bit. I'm thinking its ok I didnt get cast, because I'm trying to focus on me right now and look what No Exit did to me. I'm also trying to convice myself its ok to be single, because I'm FOCUSING ON ME. I never realized how friggin hard it is to focus on myself. I've got to throw myself into some new stuff, something I need/want. The problem is I just dont think I know what that is yet, but I need to take the time to find out.
I can get through this.
I can.