Pandemic Ponderings are still.....pondering...

 Welp.

Here we STILL are.  

We just had the year anniversary of the 1st person who contracted COVID in the US.  We're rolling up on the year anniversary here in a little over a month of when our country shut down.  And here's the count as of today:

Orange County:

236K Cases   2,638 Deaths

US:

3.19m Cases   37,203 Deaths

World:

99.4M Cases   2.13m Deaths.

Awesome right.

I'm so done you guys.  

Every day - wake up having massive anxiety.  It has subsided a bit thanks to the CBD oil my friend sent me from Vital Body Therapy.  I tried a bunch of different ones and this one seems to help me a bit, but damn.

We get tested weekly now at Chapman.  So once a week I get to walk over to our health center, sometimes stand in line, fill out a form, get sent to a room where a nice nurse has me tilt my head back and they swab both nostrils.  I'm always happy when I get the gentler lady as oppose to the aggressive one who seems to like to really get in there.  I then go stare at my phone for the next 15-30 minutes having heart palpitations hoping they don't call me.  (They only call you if you test positive).   So that's a fun weekly routine.  Yes, I'm grateful I work for an institution that offers this - but JESUS it's really anxiety driven ya know?!

I then wander back to my empty offices and basically empty building to work through the day, blasting music out of my computer to drown out the depressing silence and wonder if anyone else exists anymore.  The two days I work from home, I do everything in my power to try to stay focused in my uncomfortable make shift work corner.  It's basically impossible.

Every other week I have a Zoom "Booze Day" with 3 other co-workers that I miss dearly.  It's been such a saving grace to at least have a drink and see their faces through a computer screen.  

 

The pets join too sometimes!

 

It's just so depressing.  I feel so disconnected and alone and un-appreciated because I'm basically now the UA bitch since only "essential" peeps can come in, so my job is now doing random shit for everyone else they can't do from home.  "Parking Lot Pass-Off's" is the only time I see anyone in person for a nano second behind masks from their car windows.  I did see a co-worker whose on campus the other day when I picked up a check and we ended up talking for like 45 minutes.  We were both just so happy to have contact with someone! 

Our state is a fucking mess.  Our Governor can't seem to make up his fucking mind and bounces back and forth with total shut down to sort of shut down with colored levels.  But no one gives a shit.  The last shut down people just kept on doing business as if there wasn't a shut down.  No Outdoor Dining?  Fuck you guys we're doing it anyway!!!  So when he lifted the latest "Stay at Home" order it really doesn't seem like anything will change around here because no one was listening to it anyway.  Plus it's so confusing!  We got put on the Order because our ICU's have 0 capacity.  Um....they still do?!?!  Why are we re-opening?  Should we have never shut down?  There are no clear answers and it's making everyone confused and crazy and pissed off.  Fingers are being pointed as to the reason we're skyrocketing in cases and numbers...Gatherings!!  Restaurants!!!  Grocery Stores!!!  Not strict enough Mask stuff!!!  But seriously - WTF is it?!?!  Why can't someone in charge figure it out and make it fucking right!!!

The only hope in sight is vaccinations are starting to be distributed all over.  They have a couple of big pods where people can go, but it's also a bit of a shit show at the moment because of course everyone is super overwhelmed.  Apparently the app to make appointments sucks.  It's a nightmare to get through, etc etc.  It's just over 65, healthcare workers and first responders on the list right now but still.  It sounds like a mess.  Hopefully that will get under control soon?

We also have a new president.  THANK GAWD.  I know things can't get fixed over night, but just hearing normal press briefings, seeing Fauci's face back up there and an administration that's listening to science and doctors and saying - "Yeah....we gotta fix this shit" is hopeful.  But damn there is a long way to go.  I saw posts of so many of my people crying with joy and excitement and happiness during last weeks inauguration but honestly I'm still having PTSD from the last 4 years and until shit starts actually changing I just can't cry tears of joy yet.  I will say this though - watching a woman be sworn in as VP did make me happy.  The fashion was amaze-balls.  Lady Gaga's side eye to Pence was brilliant.  The Bernie image (which is all of us) was glorious.  It was a good day.  But still - let's see it happen right?!

Pretty cool...

I'm trying so hard to be safe, but to keep my mental health on track, but to be respectful, but to do the right thing, but you guys - IT'S EXHAUSTING.  I have friends who have not left their house since March.  I have friends who judge people who do.  I have friends who honestly seem a bit careless.  I have friends who say you should do this and not that and this is right and that is wrong and how dare you!  But you know what?  I'm at the point where this is no right or wrong.  I mean yes - be safe.  Wear a mask.  But if you have to visit people for your mental health - do it.  I'm sorry if some think that's wrong, but there are those of us in this world who NEED SOCIAL INTERACTION.  I wear a mask.  I keep my distance and keep the visits outside.  But even my therapist has told me - do it - be safe but do it.  You need to.  I miss all my social interactions because I had many and will again, but there are a few I just need to see now.  So I do.  Safely.  But it's just a couple.  I still see a lot virtually but it's just not the same.  But it's needed for sure and godamn if I'm not grateful that we have the ability in today's age to do just that.  Thank you Zoom and FaceTime!

 

Pat and I were trying to still have date nights on Friday nights, but it's just not the same ya know?  We're home.  We tried dressing up a few times even though we were at home, but it gets old fast.  I never realized how much going out was such a thing.  My brother and sis in law did sign us up for a Murder Mystery thing you do at home with clues and internet, etc but the damn thing was so hard we ended up getting super frustrated.  It was fun at first and talk about a weird way to bond....getting pissed off but not at each other. Ha!

My hottie smart boyfriend

It started out fun!

Lately we've kind of started a park trend.  We try to get out once a weekend with the kiddo to a park so she can ride her bike, we can take the dog and I can geocache!  It's been a really nice excursion and we've found a whole bunch of new parks which is also very cool!

I'm super grateful to not be living in the caboose anymore.  I can't tell you how amazing it is to be warm!!!  I've got back into my morning stretch routine.  I try to get out and hike or walk every day if I can.  I'm trying to work meditation back into my life.  I'm sending more mail which seems to bring people joy and me.  We're all trying.  

It's tough though.  Major fatigue is setting in.  I'm so hoping we see a legitimate light at the end of the tunnel real soon.  Never in a million years did I think I'd be writing blogs like this.  For a damn year now.  Hang in there my friends!  All we can do is just weather this storm together.  Love to everyone!

 

2020 Recap...

Do I even bother?

My GAWD.  2020 has been one of the most difficult years in probably all of our lives.  Who ever would have thought we would end up here.  It's created the oddest world to live in right now.  Masks are worn everywhere.  You shouldn't go anywhere unless essential.  Don't mix households.  Don't party.  Don't gather.  Hospitals are at capacity and going over.  It's fucking awful you guys.

Worldwide over 80 million cases and almost 2 million deaths.  United States has over 20 million cases and almost 350K deaths.  Just California is over 2 million cases and over 25K deaths.  I'm pretty sure we're fucked until at the very least - Spring.  The holidays have and will push us over the edge.  It's just so sad.

I'll be returning to work on Mon (after winter break) - the only one still.  My office is so weird and quiet.  It looks like the rapture hit.  I listen to my music loudly, talk to myself and get startled once a day by the cleaning gal.  It's just so odd.  I don't know when our staff will be coming back.  It certainly doesn't look like soon.  They'll be starting to test those of us who are "essential" weekly now.  I guess that's good right?  But everytime I get tested I have massive anxiety for that half hour waiting for results.  Lord.

But all we can do is look forward right?  So I'll try to hit the positives as we roll very cautiously into 2021.

2 vaccines are out and starting to be distributed so that's good.  Gives us somewhat of hope on the horizon.  I figure after we have probably a horrid January we may start seeing a downswing?  There's no more holidays...no more reasons for people to travel and get together.  We have a new president who will actually be a president.  Vaccines will continue rolling out...so fingers crossed.

2020 started out really good actually.  I began the Artists Way  Once life is somewhat normal again I'd like to re-visit that, I was actually enjoying the experience more than before.

I did a couple of fun food tours with Taylor.  Had a great birthday.  And moved in with my boyfriend.

Then March hit - FUCKING COVID.  

Let's just say the tough stuff and changes and adjustments that come with moving in with someone (when you've lived alone for almost 10 years...) get amplified when you get locked down too.  The world shut down about a month after we moved in together, so let's just say that's been a rough ride.  We're in a good place now though.  We got help and learned a lot more about each other.  We've made this place a really good home I think!  The three of us have gotten used to each others ways and we're doing well.  I'm very happy here and WARM! 

This whole mess did inspire me to do a Lockdown Life - a series of blogs that I'm really glad I wrote.

I've also been utilizing Zoom, FaceTime and Microsoft Teams.  It's been a god-send to be able to do all kinds of virtual things.  It of course isn't the same and kinda weird but I have so needed my people and we're so lucky to have these ways to do so!  I also have "patio" visits with my family and a couple of closer friends.

But 2020 was brutal.  It took my Tabitha.  It took my brothers best friend Matt.  It took my good friend Kim.  It took so many people to COVID.  It sparked a huge BLM movement after more senseless killings of Black people.  All music/theatre/events are gone.  So many people are out of work.  It's been a goddamn shit show.  

But I digress.  It's hard not too because we're still in it.  So - I really sadly don't have a whole lot to re-cap on, but we did our best.  We did do a few safe trips away.  I've learned to cook - and I'm pretty good!  We've gotten outside ALOT.  Done a lot of Geocaching.  And fallen into some pretty relaxing routines.  I also have to mention it's been really cool seeing all the creative ways people are coming up with trying to deal with this crap.  Lots of restaurants have meal kits and new ways to do take out.  There is a lot more alcohol to go options!  Delivery and things like Instacart have spiked.  Drive through movies made a come back.  Lots of drive through events.  We did a Stranger Things one that was rad!  All kinds of "Social Distancing" ways of still trying to do what used to be normal.  It's been pretty inspiring.

We're all doing the best we can.  So I'll end with some favorite pictures over the year!  Take a gander at some of moments of joy:

 Pre-Pandemic: 

Went to the snow in Jan!

I think this was our only Adventure Group Outing of 2020

My birthday

Pisces Trifecta

Taylor and I got a couple of Food Fun in before it hit

Pandemic Times:

We have become rad cooks

Been hiking alot

Social Distancing Park/Geocaching Days

Elise and I went pink during Lock down

We were able to use a pool all summer by ourselves!

Went to Lake Gregory

Went to Idyllwild

Went to Julian

Did a pretty damn good social distance Halloween

Did some drive through fun

Halloween Safely at Knotts

Xmas!

New Years Eve - Pat surprised me with Yagi Sushi! 

 

So there it is friends!  Probably and I hope the worst year to ever experience.  Let's hope 2021 brings us out of this mess.  Hopefully with a new president in place, vaccines on the way, people being safer - we'll get there right?!  

Stay safe my friends!  Spread the love and kindness - we need it more than ever right now!  Crossing our fingers for light at the end of a very dark tunnel.  Love to you all!!

Cache Addiction...

Yup.  I'm addicted.

It's cool.

I've accepted it.

 

Anywhoo - More Adventures!!!

 

So October 11th was EarthCache Day and you could earn a souvenir if you did/found and Earth Cache.  So I drug out the boy and his kid and tried to make it like a fun educational thing and it kinda was but it was hot.  AGAIN.  We seem to be having a battle with heat lately that is really cramping my cache time.

But we did find it.  In fact...when I mentioned it to my boyfriend a few days prior he said "You know - there's an indigenous dyke right down Cannon Street!  I bet there's one there!"  I smiled.  That is one of the reasons I love him.  Who the hell else would know that kind of information - and sure enough he was right.  

The cache gave us 3 sets of coordinates.  The 1st was all about the dyke.  You had to find it, answer some questions about it and take a pic:

That's a Dyke!

The second part was all about a Fault.  Find it.  Answer questions. Pic.

That's a Fault!

That's my boyfriend trying to measure the Fault

Last but not least was about Vesicular andesite.  We found them.  Answered questions.  Took a pic.

Bubbley Rocks otherwise known as Vesicular andesite!

And WHAM - earned my souvenir!

Earth Cache Day success!!!

So one morning I met up with my best friend to walk Eisenhower Park.  I've got most the caches here, but there was always the one that was super high in the Muggle area that I could never get.  Well I got it this morning!!!  

Solo Morning Caching

And yeah - total hard one because it's right by the main parking lot and is usually swimming with people.  I guess COVID is doing one good thing - keeping people at bay.  The only bummer was all the other caches don't seem to be there anymore.  Guess I'm glad I got them when we did!

One date night in Downtown Fullerton I dragged the boyfriend on a cache hunt after dinner.  We found it and I earned a souvenir!!

So handy to have a tall one with me

My souvenir!

One of the other things I love about geocaching that I'm sure I've mentioned a million times is it brings us to new places.  I'm really a fan of parks because Elise can ride her bike, we can bring the dog and walk around and of course cache!  We hit the Serrano Park one the 1st day of November!  It also earned me another souvenir!

Yay another one!

These looked liked feathers!

Easy find!

A pretty evening indeed

One night during the Christmas Season since COVID is keeping us from doing much - we drove around and looked at Christmas lights.  We remembered this really cool house that had a cache in front it.  We looked for it during Halloween but there were too many people, so we tried again and we got it!

Look how friggin excited I was to find it...

Totally had a false back on the brick in the bottom of the wall!

So after we hid our 1st geocache which you can read about Here , I wanted to go back and look for a cache I had noticed along a pretty gnarly trail.  So Pat & I did a Sat morning hike and found it!  Well - he did.  That boy has an Eagle Eye!

I need to start wearing my glasses....

One day I was determined to get us all out of the house.  So - we headed over to Deer Park Trail where Elise could ride her bike, we could bring the dog and I could cache.  I found three!!

I see you!

 This one I ate shit trying to find.  I went up this hill that was super soft...wasn't there but as I was coming back down I slipped...fell...then rolled down the hill.  Pat & Elise were up the way a bit and didn't know - but then I faceplanted in front of a truck.  He was a park employee and thank GAWD must have saw me falling down the hill stopped.  "You ok?" he asks me laughing.  I answer yes, brush myself off and move along.  2 people on horses also asked if I was ok.  Lord.  I did end up banging myself up pretty good but I found the damn thing!

Got bruised and bloody for this one

This next one was awesome - I saw it sticking out of the tree and when you pulled it out it was a big plastic padlock...well - the damn hand came out with it when you kept pulling!!!  Scared the crap out of me!!!  Totes got a favorite point!

Heartattack!!!!!!!!

Found the last one up the hill past the cutie goats.  Was a good day of caching!

Nestled in a tree hole

Hi goats!

On New Years Day I of course wanted to get out so I could earn the "New Years Day souvenir - which I did!

Pat and I hit up this trail we didn't know about.  I had seen a bunch of geocaches on the map and Pat wasn't sure what trail it was - welp - we found it today and it was beautiful!  I also got a bunch of caches and there's still a few more to find so we'll def be heading back there!  They call it the "Tin Trail".  I think all the caches are tin and named Tin something...so clever!

So teeny!

Magnetic

Caching Couple

This one got a favorite - scared the crap out of me!  I pulled off the lid and "Oh!  Hi giant Spider!!"  It was called Arachtinphobia - now I know why.  Pat got quite a laugh watching me leap backwards yelping!

Beautiful View!

Did not get poked by the cactus this time!

So many painted rocks on this trail!

So there ya have it!

Still at it.

Still love it!!