So yeah. Fuck 2020. I want a redo.
The depressing stats for the 1st week of this blog:
Worldwide:
Cases - 4,801,507
Deaths - 316,659
US:
Cases -78,839
Deaths - 3,261
OC:
Cases -4,222
Deaths - 86
It's not getting better. It's not slowing down. And I really feel like we're not "flattening the curve". I mean I guess OC is keeping the numbers down enough to not overflow the hospitals and what not but I really feel in order to feel like we're actually getting somewhere we actually have to see a decline right? One of my dear friends is a nurse at Hoag and she's been dealing with alot of COVID-19 patients. The good thing is she feels very confident in her hospital because none of the workers have gotten sick - yay! But - they did see a spike in patients after all the protests last week. Shocking. That's what I'm worried about right now. Is the fact that those who aren't taking this seriously and who don't give a fuck are the ones that are going to not let our economy get going again. We can't start really re-opening and actually getting our lives back to a somewhat normal status until there's an actual decline and I don't see a decline until our numbers start going down rather than continuously going up. I honestly don't know what to think anymore. We were supposed to go to the Cubs Game this past Saturday. Had talked of getting a hotel, making a weekend out of it. Yeah. Fuck. I'm just going to continue to wear my mask when I go into stores (basically my once a week grocery store trip and my BevMo pick up) and continue to practice social distancing - which I fucking hate - but I'll do it. It's such a fucked up time you guys. It just keeps going with no end in sight. But we roll on. This particular week we did a get a few cool activities in even though my heart is healing. So here we go.
Losing my girl killed me. Like broke my heart and has left me empty and sad. But 3 people instantly sent me love - mom, Terri and my friend Jen from work. I swung by moms to pick up something and she had a bouquet of sunflowers for me. Terri and Jen both had stunning bouquets sent to my house. And of course the outpouring of love via social media and text and phone calls has been amazing. I'm a lucky girl to have so many wonderful people in my life!
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| From mom and T |
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| From Miss Jen |
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| The view from the top |
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| Pretty flower on the trail |
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| Taking a minute |
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| I got some good artists as neighbors |
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| I swear I'm not being man handled |
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| Hi bloom!!!! |
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| Elise's 2 parter |
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| Pats |
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| Mine |
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| All together as a family |
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| Pats |
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| Elise did 2 boxes and I did the black one |
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| My flower |
So that's part one of this two parter blog.
FUCK COVID-19.
Part Two:
Welp.
Same ol' same ol. I totally forgot it was even Memorial Day because...well...Every day is the same. Although I would say we should memorialize the almost 100K people we've lost and are continuing to lose to this fucking thing.
The NY Times Cover this week:
Stats a week later than above:
Worldwide:
Cases -5.4 million
Deaths -345,000
US:
Cases - 1,634,921
Deaths -91,941
OC:
Cases - 5,336
Deaths - 131
Quite a jump huh? We had our highest "Death Day" just Wednesday. Things are slowly starting to "re-open" so...yeah...doesn't really seem to be getting any better to me. It seems so many more people are saying "Fuck it". As I sit here typing this I can hear the zillion neighborhood kids playing with each other. Earlier this week Pat's kid was playing with her friends after a school parade - so - I guess the social distancing is faltering. I don't know what the hell to do. My sister in law wanted to invite mom and us all over for a Memorial Day BBQ but I turned her down. It just doesn't feel right to me. My dad is going to be returning from Illinois with my Grandad and step brother next month - how am I not supposed to hug them?!?!?! Will it be ok then? My therapist said to do more social distance visits. It's still so hard though when I see other people getting together and not "social distancing". Why do they get to and I don't? Are they more careless or am I being too paranoid? Our Lake Gregory trip is still on for 4th of July weekend...do we go? I'm still so unsure. We wear masks everytime we go in places. How can we go from that to opening back up and being normal? It's not going to be normal...I know...but what's it going to be? I'm pretty sure I'm still not even going to want to go out. I hate this. I wake up every morning spinning, lately recovering from anxiety dreams. When is this all going to end?
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| Lori made us some more masks since it looks like we're going to be wearing them longer |
So even a few days after I wrote the above paragraph - OC is allowing restaurants to open up for sit in dining. That stunned me. They have to have a bunch of safety protocols in place but still. A lot of restaurants are not opening because they're uncomfortable still. I don't blame them. I'm not rushing into any. Others are going to take a bit to open to get their protocols in place. I just don't know what's going to happen. It's required we wear masks everywhere now if you can't keep a 6 foot distance from the person and people are having a cow about it. I'm so exhausted trying to figure out what's right and what's wrong. I just want to sleep all the time. I haven't been walking/exercising much this week because I'm just depressed.
I picked up my baby girl's ashes this week. I now have my little memorial to my girls. I miss them so much.
Zoom stuff is saving me a bit. One of our old professors from OCC is retiring. A gal set it up so a bunch of old rep kids surprised him on his Zoom meeting with his current rep kids. It was so rad! There were like 100 people and he was totally overwhelmed. It was very cool.
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| Page 1 of 7 |
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| His wife sent these pictures - so awesome |
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| I'm so happy he was so touched! |
Chapman offered a yoga class one morning before work.
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| Oh boy |
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| I love her |
I got us some more projects from Dragonfly Shops and Gardens that we did this weekend. Elise and I colored some pillows. Then all three of us started painitng birdhouses, but realized they were a little more complicated and is going to turn into a two weekend project. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I don't think I can afford more projects right now.
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| My pillow |
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| Done...but still may color in the square part |
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| Elise's finished product |
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| Elise got a Pirate Birdhouse |
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| Pat's going to do a camper and I get the flamingo! |
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| Citrus Chicken Tacos! Yum! |
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| Creeper |
Another couple of weeks gone by of this Bullshit but we're coping. We're trying. We're finding activities. It's hard though. The mental toll is rough.
Hang in there my friends. I still am.
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