Last Single Standing...

Holy Hell you guys!

I think I’m the last single left!

Honesty blog coming up…

Seriously!  The last of my single friends are getting paired off with significant others.  Babies are being born everywhere.  Marriages are happening all over the damn place.  I’ve been to more baby showers, bridal showers, weddings and engagement parties over the past few years I think I need to take out a loan for all the gifts!

After this last boy hurt my heart, I’ve realized it’s actually becoming comical and baffling to those around me.  It seems the last…oh let’s say 7 or so boys that have come in and right out of my life has started to bruise the ego a bit.  It goes like this:

Boy seems interested.  I get my hopes up and/or excited.  In some cases – actually have gone out with boy.  In other cases boy has kissed me (to my surprise mind you!) and I go home with butterflies in my tummy.  Boy totally blows me off.  Jami has this face:

WTF?

Do I have bad breath?  Do I talk too much? Swear too much?  Seem too bitchy?  What is it?  

Sometimes it’s timing.  This last one I have a feeling might have actually been something kinda cool but then I got the “Oh by the way I’m seeing someone” text message.  I do think it was honestly a crappy timing issue.  But ouch.  Seriously ouch.  So yet again – hopes up and smooshed promptly. 

There’s also another boy that I was introduced to via FB and we emailed a few times but now nothing.  I have put it out there a few times about meeting in person and he writes that it would be great to meet, yet nothing.  I’m trying to find the appropriate time to “unfriend” him and it not seem awkward because – DUDE!   I mean if the guy was actually interested he’d give a shit right? I don’t want to come off as desperate and keep emailing someone who is obviously not into me.

I was with a gal yesterday who was lamenting about online dating.  Apparently she has faboo convos with these boys, seem great, one date, bam – never to be heard from again.  She has one currently that has lasted more than one so she’s thrilled but still…WTF?

My friends are so hopeful about the whole thing.  I keep hearing “It’s so your time!”  “He’s right there!!”  “It’s going to happen any second I know it!!”  I appreciate the words of encouragement but I’m not gonna lie.  This last one was a real bummer.  I’ll play it cool though when I see him in passing.  I’m good at that too.  Hell, I’ve had tons of practice.

But honestly readers, what is it?  Why is it so damn hard out there?  My mom swears there’s more women than men and the odds are just totally against us.  I have a lot of friends who are in relationships say they would never want to be out there in the dating world now.  It’s so difficult with email and texting, etc.  There is a co-worker of mine who is much younger and also having issues with boys who text text text but never actually meet up.  I feel like Drew Barrymore in “He’s Just not that Into You”

Drew Scene 

Hell, this is even dated now!  Add to this Facebook, Twitter and now there's something called Tumblr?  Oh lord..

I miss the old days.  You met someone, you clicked, you were courted a bit, then you became boyfriend/girlfriend.  Maybe cute notes were written to each other.  Long phone calls at night.  But even back then I wasn’t very good at this.

I’m quite discouraged at this point.  The older I get the harder it is.  I thought I had game when I was in my 20’s.  Hell I thought I was pretty smooth into the early 30’s.  But I think it was just that I was heavily involved in a theater community and we all hooked up with each other.  It’s like shooting fish in a barrel for anyone in that circle really.

Now here I am in the real world, with no game, no mystery, no clue really.  Just totally confused and constantly blind sided.  I don't like games.  I've never liked games.  I'm very straight up.  Just tell me how it is, right off that bat.  I don't want to guess or try to figure you out.

I had another recent situation with a boy whom I'm friends with, we tried to date a long time ago, but I made one comment about drinking and poof - done.  We're the type that can blow stuff off pretty well so we're still good friends but he gets so bizzare sometimes and leaps to conclusions so fast my head spins.  Of course it's usually started from an unclear text message that goes awry and I try to call to actually talk like humans but this never happens.  This actually ruined a weekend vacation!  Again...here I am:

Is it the million forms of technology that is screwing it up for us?  Is it just a timing issue and my "time" hasn't happened yet.  (HURRY THE F UP THEN).  Is there something wrong with me that I don't see?  Or am I just so awesome men can handle the glow?  I'd like to think it's that.

I’m not depressed about this, or wallowing or whining.  I’m just honestly confused as hell.  I have absolutely no idea about it at all anymore.  It’s getting more difficult though being the odd man (er woman) out though.  I’m running out of friends to use as “Plus Ones”.  

So that's all for now I suppose. 

Confused, single, almost 40 something signing off...