It'll come together....

I want it to come together.
My show.
We've been rehearsing for I dont even know how long now.
Postphoned.
Rehearsed.
Postphoned.
My brother has joined the cast - I'm so excited I cant stand it! Watching him onstage makes me so proud! He's doing so well, and enjoying it, and realizing the work we all put in to our shows.
Postphoned. Space shut down.
Are we going to go up?
We dont know. We still are rehearsing, but now there's a worry in the air...is it goin to happen?
We have a possible temporary space! It would be such a great opportunity!
We rehearse.
Falls through.
There's a press war. There's constant emails and phone calls. "Is the show happening?" I dont know I have to answer...we're trying. I'll keep you posted.
Its so fucking tragic its almost amusing at this point.
Our option B pans out.
We are rehearsing again. But only 3 rehearsals. Only 1 tech. We open Saturday.
Monday was painful. A clusterfuck. One of my poor co-horts got the brunt of my frustration. We're trying to re-stage a show that was in a small deep setting and now we're in a long horizontal setting with a stair case.
WTF.
Everyone is strung out and stressed and frustrated. The passion seems to be gone. We've been at this for so godamn long back and forth and back and forth.
Our director reached his wits end last night I think. Our rehearsal - fuses were blowing. We have mice. We're trying to put up a play in a very non-theatrical location. Actors are missing cues and lines due to the confusion and frustration. We keep stopping and changing what we're doing. No one knows whats going on. Its hotter then fucking Hell in there. I wanted to cry. Everyone was tired and so stressed out. It was St. Paddy's Day.
We have 1 more.
Tommorrow.
Our only tech rehearsal with lights, and sound and costumes. I hope to GAWD no fuses blow. Our sound works. Our costumes dont rip. Our makeup doesnt drip. We adapt to our new enviroment. Please. Please.
Here is why:
I love acting. I loved this show when I read it. I read this particular scene when my character and her 2 brothers have a speech to the audience. A pre-slaughter speech. Revenge. It's beautiful. It's bad ass. I wanted it. I got it. Our principal actors are fantastic. We have an all-star cast. I've been so godamn excited to do this show. One of our frustrating evenings when something went wrong, I remember Dave saying "We're doing this show goddammit! I've wanted to direct this for 10 years!". My little brother is making his stage debut! He's doing so good! It's so fucking amazing to have my little brother be a part of this with me. This part of my life that has and hopefully will always be a huge part of my life - he's in the brunt of it with me! So many of us have put so much into this. I hugged Dave last nite knowing he's spread so thin. I hope he hasnt given up. Some of my fellow actors have put extra time in helping, building, moving. Our SM is holding on by a thread. We need that passion back. I love this fucking show. I want it to be amazing. I want our passion back. This bitch needs to open on Saturday and fucking rock. It has too! And you know what? It fucking will dammit!