R.A.D....

Well, as you saw by my last blog...Warrior Dash. A few days prior to that I took a R.A.D. Self Defense Class. This stands for Rape Aggression Defense. Since I've been on a kick to do active interesting things as of late (Sadly my financial situation will be slowing this down ALOT) I figured this class would be a go. Its free. Its through the public safety department at my work. Why not? Its a 3 day class - 4 hours a nite after work. The 1st nite was lecturing about rape. No means no. Etc. We had about 8 gals in our class. I'm not going to say I was bored. But I have no problem being aggressive. I know no means no. Some douche bag tries to test that, he only will once. I'm just not that girl. But - I think this class is perfect for girls who need something like this. The 2nd night was our instructor teaching us all the techniques. The first being how to yell. She tested me, laughed and said "Good voice!" "Actor" I responded. But most of the girls had a hard time with this. Then the fight styles. Very similar to karate. I aced it of course. Not to brag, but I've trained to box, took karate for a few years and am just a feisty girl as you all know. I took to this like a fish to water. All the other girls were so amazed by my strength, how hard I punched and kicked and how skilled I was. I was flattered, but modest too - trying to convince these women I've had training - you have not - theres a difference. Day 3 we fight the R.A.D. men. These are 2 cops padded to the nine that attack us in 3 different scenarios - we fight back proving we learned how to defend ourselves in class. I was surprised that all the girls (even the one who took the class before) were nervous! Some of them were saying "I"m not going to be able to fight. I'm too weak. I'm too scared. I'm embarrased. We want to watch you fight Jami!". I was in awe. The 8 of us stood together in the hallway with padded helmuts, elbow braces, knee braces and hand things and all the girls were so scared. I was so excited! I tried to pump them up. "Its going to be awesome!" "We get to fight these guys! For real!" "Your are all going to do so well!!!" We started being taken into the room one by one. We were not allowed to see the gals fight before us, but were able to stay and watch the ones fight after us. This of course was to keep us from seeing what scenario we were walking into.
The 1st scenario we were "At an ATM at night" Our goal in all 3 scenarios is to get away. There was a taped off area, and once we passed a certain part we were "free". 1st dude comes up behind, bear hugs you and takes you to the ground. None of us were expecting that. We didnt really practice for that one. (I actually thought he just lost his balance) I found out later, I was the only one he didnt get a grip on. An old move from karate and my dad I leared was to arch, so as we were going down I did just that and rolled with him then right off him. I kicked him in the head and took off. I met the dude 2 blocking my way, and I also found out I was the only one that ran right at him instead of trying to run around him. I leaped up and punched his head, knocking him down (I dont believe he was expecting that) and literally ran over him to my spot. The 2 gals who watched me shrieked with excitement. Scenario 2 we were "Walking in a park". I honestly dont really remember what I did here...but 4 of the girls were in this time and thier cheering made me feel great, knowing I did something pretty cool :). Scenario 3, which is the video you see here (and I think after you watch mine, you can see the other girls if you like). We were to stand there with our eyes closed until one of the dudes actually touched us. When I saw this video I realized why all the other girls were cheering me on, and loving to watch me fight. I do just that. I fight. Hell I got so in to it I almost fall over from the momentum I had going after the guy! ha ha!! Unfortunatly I did hurt one of them they told me later, I guess I caught him pretty good across the temple. Ooops! :)
I was quite proud of how well I did in this class, and how strong I actually am. The cops teased me later on saying I should join the UFC and calling me Mohammed Ali. They also used me as an example alot with the others girls, saying I was an exception. I was strong and quick.
But this is what really stuck out with me in this class. The other girls. The change in them after our fights. These girls, these timid girls who couldnt yell, who were so nervous to fight, who didnt think they could actually fight the cops - Kicked Ass!!! I felt like a proud mama watching these girls do such a great job, remembering what the instructor taught them. Fighting. Yelling. Doing so well. And best of all thier beaming smiles at the end of class, thier confidence!!!
These are girls that might have frozen up if they were ever attacked, thinking they could not defend themselves and now know they can fight back.
This has inspired me. I emailed my instructor telling her I was interested in being an instructor. Every women should take this class, especially those who are timid and shy and weak and dont think they can defend themselves. It was a great experience, and I'm so happy these girls did so well!!!!

Warrior Dash 2011...

Months back I heard of this thing called Warrior Dash. I've been trying to add all kinds of active things into my life lately (Pole Dancing, Burleque, Circus Fitness, Zumba, Self Defense, etc). I'll keep you posted on how they all turn out - but today I did Warrior Dash 2011. I plan on doing another blog about the Self Defense Class as well (Did that a couple days ago...but I only have energy for one right now). Anywhoo.
I sent out one of my "Hey wanna do this with me?" emails to some peeps about this Dash and ended up with a great group of 9. (We had a few others that unfortunatly dropped out at the last minute). Most of us met at my place early this morning to get out to Lake Elsinore by 10am. Our wave was 11am. One friend did it last year, and 2 friends had done a mudd run before but I have never done anything like this. The only thing I was a little concerned about was the running. I dont run. I cant actually. Ever since I blew my knee apart, running is not possible for me. It also kills my back, and honestly I just dont like it. But this particular event was obviously geared towards people who just want to have a good time no matter what size or shape you are and no matter what kind of physical shape your in. So I was game. The obstacles are what excited me. Its like playing fort or playing on a giant playground!
We all caravan out and pull into the parking lot quite excited. We slap on sun block (Most of us...I'm laughing at the ones now sunburned) gather only our nessasary items and head up. As we walk into the area, there is a group of people in red tee's cheering us on. We check in, get our warrior gear and hang out taking before pictures until its time for our wave. We all gether together with 700 other people (There was supposedly 700 per wave) do a 1-2-3 WARRIORS! Cheer and they blast 2 huge columns of fire and we slowly start to trot. As any marathon, the group starts to spread out and me, my coworker and my roomie end up sticking together as the rest of our crew takes off ahead. I attempt to run for a bit, but this doesnt last. My knee starts barkin (I did wear my brace!!) and I opt for speed walking. The nice part is my 2 companions are little tiny women so they can still jog to my speed walking.
1st obstacle is a giant hay stack. The group is still kind of thick so we have to wait for people to climb over it, but we score it pretty easy. Next up smashed up cars with tires you run through in between. As I grab the corner of one of the crunched cars to hop over, I slice my thumb. It was a tiny little cut but it bled like a bitch. We then ran thru some mud, my co-worker almost ate it. Then some walls showed up, about 3-4 feet high we had to hop over, then go under barb wire, then over the wall, etc. We then came up to a wall with ropes hanging down we had to climb up and over. Next up I believe was this awful rope box thing we had to go thru. My brace came undone and kept getting caught. A lovely fellow runner that looked like Julia Stiles kept rescuing me. After that we ran across some beams over a ravine, then up a rocky hill. Unfortunatly my knee torked a bit here, but didnt get too bad. We then ran into the lake and had to jump over logs in the water. I of course turned to check on my friend and fell head first into the water. Yup. After that was a rope climb thing that went up, across then down. I opted to balance my way across the beam and did quite well. We then ran up another hill thing and started heading down the home stretch. By this point the water had made it extremly difficult for me and my co-worker friend and our shorts were falling down, so we were having to hold them up. Roomie at this point had gone on ahead to join up with 2 of our other crew. Then was the giant rope wall that we climbed and over which was a blast the we start toward the finish line. People are cheering and we hear our names...there's our mom, Keri and Amy shooting pictures. Then Tully shooting pics as he must have finished way before us. Not shocking. We leap over the fire and slosh thru the mudd. It was so squishy and weird!!! I'm laughing the whole time. We cross the finish line and I see photographers on ladders - I scream and give my best warrior cry hoping that'll make it into the photos of the Dash People. We rinse off in the lake, donate our nasty shoes to a charity, head to the car and change then chill in the beer garden eating BBQ beef, Turkey legs and beer.
It was a fucking blast.
Even though I'm not a runner, I smoked all the obstacles. They werent that difficult, but it felt great hopping over things or climbing walls way better then the people around me. I'm starting to accept my strength a little more, which I'll get more into during my self defense blog. But I did it. I did a 5K with random obstacles and a great group of friends. I'm enjoying this active kick I'm on. I'm not a marathon runner or a body builder or an athlete anymore, but keeping the random variety of active stuff is awesome.
I'm a Warrior!!!

My voice...

is gone.
Yup. Totally gone. Its the weirdest thing.
SO....I'm a bit furious because I'm sick AGAIN. Yes AGAIN!!!! I'm even more furious, because I do everything your supposed to do...I eat antioxident rich foods, I take vitamins, I get my rest, the second I feel just a little sick or off - I take airborne, echinacea I sleep more - I'M DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!!! I'm f-ing healthy right now! I excersise pretty regularly, I'm eating decently and yes I actually sleep now!!! I admit - I didnt used to - I lived the rockstar life, worked full time, went to school full time and was full time in theater - I'm smart now!!! But does it matter?? NOOOOOO!!!!! Because last Tue/Wed when I started feeling a little off...nothing big, little scratchy throat, kinda stuffy - I downed the airborne, took Zicam went to bed early - Took care of myself!!!!! Did it matter?? NO GODDAMMIT! Thursday rolls around I feel really crappy - I cancel my Thur nite plans and go to bed early - wake up Friday - sick. I call out of work, I cancel my Fri nite plans. I have a big weekend planned!!! I stay in bed all day, nursing myself, taking care of myself - DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS. Saturday comes - I feel better...still sick but better. I get my hair did. I come home and take a nap (like a good girl), I keep my Sat nite plans. I come home - die. I woke up about an hour after going to bed puking. Awesome. Sunday comes I'm half dead. I'm puking up mucus (yes I know...GROSS!), I have a splitting headache, stuffed nose, sore throat and no voice. I do not leave my bed all day and dont eat. Mom is actually feeling bad for me at this point and takes the best care of me she can. Monday comes - I call out of work and call the Dr. He's calls me in an antibiotic. I take it easy all Monday with no voice. I cancel my Mon nite plans (Poor kid - same one I cancelled on Thur!) I also cancel Tue nite plans. Today comes - I feel good enough to go to work. I actually still feel ok, but I have a knarly cough and STILL NO VOICE!
I have lost my voice before, or had that lovely man sounding voice for a day or two - but this is ridiculous. Mid conversation with a couple of my friends Sat nite the voice goes and its still not back. I'm getting a bit worried. You should have seen me at work today...thank GAWD I dont have to talk alot, but its hard! People are coming in with questions and laughing at my no voice or feeling sorry for me. I share an office with a fellow and we usually have small chit chat throughout the day - well thats gone. My mom keeps forgetting and shouting things at me from the other room...I have to walk in to mouth things at her and she laughs and shakes her head apologizing for forgetting.
Its so weird! I literally try to yell and this sad little gaspy noise comes out. Everytime I cough you hear the sad little horn sound that is now my sad shaky little voice that cracks or doesnt even make a sound. I thank the heavens I'm not in a show right now.
I miss my voice. I talk to myself alot - I'm not gonna lie. I talk to my cats. I talk to my mom. To friends, I call my brother at lunch. I call my grandparents every day...I havent been able to do any of this! I guess you never realize how much you love something until its gone?
Please...please all you energies in the universe...please let this be the last time I'm sick. I dont have time for this shit! I havent worked out in 2 weeks!!! Oh yeah - DID I MENTION I BROKE MY TOE LAST MON!!!
Seriously.
I actually start feeling good, getting my shit straight - training, eating good, etc etc etc and WHAM. Last week fucking blew.
Sigh.
I miss my voice.
I kinda want to yell right now.

Magic happened last night...

I had the awesome opportunity to be part of a very silly random night of theater, that reminded me why I love this art so much. There used to be a group of artists that got together and wrote, rehearsed, threw together a night of theater/music pretty much in a couple of days. This turned into an annual Adults Only Xmas Pageant. Well, its been a few years since they have done one and one of the crew decided to do it again and give the proceeds to MWC that is dark for a few months. Since it was the day before Valentine’s Day, it was centered around that. We got together a couple of times and threw around some ideas, then read some possible choices. We had an extremely energetic amazing director and the guy putting this together was nothing but eager and positive the whole time. The crew of actors are some of the much more seasoned actors of the OC Theater scene, and I was flattered to be among them. I was equally flattered when word got out about all that was involved and that made the buzz even greater and the comments going around like “Amazing cast!” “Best actors in OC” “What an talented group!”. Blushing, I realized I was one of them. We sort of had a rehearsal or two, but not really…then we all arrived early yesterday to get the thing together. The director arrived with the gaudiest of V-day décor and one of our writers/singers waltzed in with probably about 30-40 heart balloons. With the help of our faboo friends running the board and house the décor went up, a cue to cue was run, the musicians practiced and us actors were scurrying around trying to make costumes, props and hair all work together. Nerves and excitement were high. The house began to fill up, more rows were added – all the way up to the stage. Lets just say one couple got a very nice up close and personal view of my pasties. The musicians started the pre-show and the scurrying, excitement and energy blew up backstage. We all nailed our hilarious sketches, laughter filled the house. Our show probably ran 20 minutes longer due to the constant holding for uproarious laughter. We laughed our way through Fuck Family, my Palin monologue was a hit. The other bits were fantastic and funny and offensive and fun. The musicians were great and fun as well. The night ended with all of us at the curtains waiting for the final curtain call like ending. I looked around in the cramped room at all these talented people, drinking beers and wine, smiling and listening to one of our own playing guitar and singing to the heavens. I felt we were all one for just a minute, all happy, exhausted and ever so slightly moving to the music – and magic. That was the moment. This is why I love this. Especially this way, with these people. It was one of the funnest days of my life. We walked out onstage singing “All you need is Love” to cheers and applause. I couldn’t stop smiling. The evening ended on as good of a note when my bro and his wife, the roomie and a couple other actors landed at the Irish Pub across the way listening to an Irish Duo pretty much doing what I just finished. Silly, talented musicians (and adorable as all hell) singing to a mostly empty bar but you could tell they loved every moment. And earlier on this day, my prior blog explains how my day started.
February 13th, 2011 was a good day.

I love my Papa...

I know you all know this.
I know you all know I love this man so much it makes my heart hurt.
But I want to write a little blog about what happened today. Sunday's I'm on grandaughter duty and usually head over to my grandparents for a few hours to help them out since Sunday is the only day they dont have a care giver or ma there. Well mom relays to me last night, that Papa wanted me to pick up a dozen roses for gramma for Valentine's Day. He gets her roses every year, and since he cant get them himself now it has fallen into my hands. I choose to go to Albertson's because I REFUSE to hit a flower shop that is going to charge something equal to a mortgage payment for a shotty couple of flowers. I look at every single arrangement trying to find the best one. I of course probably take more time then I should have, but I wanted a pretty one. I finally settle on one set (Still a little irrirated at the price, but its less then a flower store) and make my purchase. I pick up Starbux for us all and head over. The front door is wide open, so I sneak around the back and put them down in a shady spot. I then come in the front with my usual hellos and slip the little card into Papa's hand telling him the flowers are outside. Gramma of course is wondering what he has and I shout out her to get her ass in the kitchen to help me out. She shuffles in mumbling that I dont need to be so bossy. (Nosey little butt). I stall her in there why I watch Papa struggle to fill write ont he little card. When gramma starts heading back in, I bee line for Pops who says he's done and wishes he could write better. I grab the card, tell gramma I forgot something in the car and run out to grab the bouqet. I look at the little card. All it says is "To My Love". Tears well up in my eyes. He loves her so much. I have to pause as I stare down at the little card with the shaky writing that says simply. "To My Love". I shake it off and prance in the door to gramma's beaming face. Papa is standing now, and she shuffles over to him saying this deserves a kiss. I go to the kitchen to add more water to the vase and not interrupt thier little moment. I hear the little lovey words and smooches behind me and smile. 96 years old and 92 years old and the love these two has for each other blows my mind every time. As I leave the house I break down crying. It's so hard to love someone so much. I hope everyone can.

Positive Injection Please...

I need it.
I'm feelin a bit low lately - not like I used to though!!! Lets just clarify that right now! Pretty much for the season of winter has always been a hard time for me, fighting through the cold crappy dry weather (yes for SoCal...) is a big part, but for some reason depression usually hits the hardest around this time. BUT! For the last...probably 3 years or so I havent had that problem. I was JUST talking with my roomie about that the other day, how glad I am I dont go through those really low points anymore. I believe growing and changing has stopped that but there are a few moments like now that I'm just feeling a little blue. So I'm going to whine a bit on this blog because I can.
I've slacked on the photo taking but there actually hasnt really been anything all that exciting going on anyway. I'm having a bit of a rough patch. I know being sick YES AGAIN!!!! is not helping. A little over a week ago, I got my yearly sinus infection. Unfortunatly I get these once a year it seems around this time. The left side of my face feels like mini knives are shooting through it, my left glad swells slightly and I get the awful ugly god forsaken fever blister on my lip. This is the only time in my life I become completely vain. I feel so ugly and embarrased (even though its not that bad, friends who know how much I want to crawl in a hole convince me its not that bad but still). I hate it. Then for some reason this time around - the fucking cold followed it up. Fri nite I started feeling blargh and bam - cold. Awesome. So here I type - sniffling and annoyed. I did actually to to my Dr. today - I had made a yearly appointment and happen to get sick beforehand. He's not too worried about the cold, doesnt know what to do with the sinus infection and thinks I'm peachy keen. I get bloodwork this week, but I'm probably fine. Except for the foot - I am to go to another Dr. to get that looked at and dealt with. Fuck. I'm not gonna lie...a lil freaked out about that.
I'm still in the show I am not enjoying, but only one more weekend left THANK GAWD. I didnt get cast in a show I really wantd to be in, I'm only a bitty part in this fundraiser I am really looking foward too so I'm fighting the acting inferiority complex and wonder if I've been wasting my life all these years. I've barely touched my camera and my notebook lies empty. Needless to say my creativity is not flowing right now and that is killing me. I'm lonley and confused with the boy scene as per usual and I did decide to go to Coachella which I'm excited about but did of course take a financial hit. Plus all thats going on in the world right now is ripping my heart apart.
So blah. There's the purge, a small portion of it because I dont even want to hear myself whine too much. Ugh. I do hate these phases, but this too shall pass right?
Lets some up some good stuff....A couple of people have noticed my working out paying off. I've gotten a couple of surprise compliments which makes me feel really good. (more please). A dear friend of mine is preggers with her 2nd...which weirdly I knew before she told me...then another good friend is preggers with her 1st...I had a dream about her being with kid before she told me...and did I mention I knew one of my co-workers was preggo months before she told me? She's calling me the baby whisperer. I surprised another dear friend for her bday dinner one nite - surrounded by ALOT of children and handled it quite well I might add. I caught up with a dude I love so much who I used to work at PSO with and we caught each other up on our new jobs, etc. A few dinners with other friends, catching up and celebrated my Papa's 96th birthday Fri nite. So its been a decent few weeks aside from fighting the depression.
So on ward and upward I hope. I know once I'm not sick and dont look like a diseased whore I'll perk up a bit. I'm thinking its ok I didnt get cast, because I'm trying to focus on me right now and look what No Exit did to me. I'm also trying to convice myself its ok to be single, because I'm FOCUSING ON ME. I never realized how friggin hard it is to focus on myself. I've got to throw myself into some new stuff, something I need/want. The problem is I just dont think I know what that is yet, but I need to take the time to find out.
I can get through this.
I can.

Starting 2011...

I'd like to try and take more photos to document my year happenins....yet a few of these my little sure shoter just didnt quite cut it - but you can kinda make out the photos! Looks like a new baby camera is needed in the near future. Too bad I cant fold up my fancy big love camera into my purse...but anywhoo....
I realized blogging my year end review - things were fuzzy during alot of the year, trying to remember, etc. I will be 35 next month...maybe old age forgetfullness is setting in! Doh!!! So I'm going to attempt to try to "recap" more often. I've noticed alot of peeps dont seem to blog as much anymore - but I'm gonna keep on truckin! I'm sure I have maybe just a handful of you folks that actually read these but thats cool with me. I love ya all for it!!
So - January so far....
Not too bad!
New Years Eve into day was fantastic. I had a small group of friends come over, and the night was full of laughter, great conversation and a wonderful time. There was about 10 or so of us and when 12 o'clock rolled around - we sort of paused to cheers and kiss and hug and pop poppers but then went right back into the multiple conversations going on. It was perfect. 2 of my favorite girls stayed the eve, and we got breakfast in our jammies that morning and watched the Rose Parade probably 3 times trying to catch this one particular float. Later that afternoon I picked up my bro/sis in law from LAX and heard all about thier fantastic trip to Ireland.
The next day T and I got wild hairs up our butts as we do and headed up to Pasadena to look at the floats up close and personal - it was raining and crowded but we had a blast. T held my umbrella everytime I whipped out my camera and we huddled together through the cold. The floats were beautiful and I have a new appreciation for how those things are put together.
The first week of Jan we hit Tower of Power. T joined and it was AMAZING. We ran into our old friend as well which was fantastic. As I sat there and listened to the brilliant-ness that is T.O.P. I thought to myself "Every f-ing music fan needs to watch this band to understand how talented they are!!!" I'm not kidding folks - if you can - check them out. They are seriously one of the best live performances you will ever see. Every single one of them. Uber-talented. We of course had a perfect night at the Coach House.
I've opened up my show No Exit last weekend. Sadly, its not a show I'm super excited about but it has come together somewhat. The best part about the whole experience is I've made a new friend in one of my castmates. New friends are always awesome! We run for 4 more weekends - 11pm on Friday's which might actually kill me and 5pm on Saturdays. Hopefully it will be well recieved.
Saturday night Ber and I attended a fundraiser where our friends band Just Plain Big was going to perform and had a great night. The other musicians were not so great, but when his band came out the place was jumpin and excited. They're a punk band our age and older. I loved it. The singer was a ball of energy and a spitting image of one of my dear friends. Noel was fantastic. Computer geek turned rockstar. I loved it. Ber and I had a wonderful time discussing music, eating Rubios and cheering on our friend.
The next night had a lovely steak dinner with T as we had our usual catch up fabulous conversation.
Job is going well, got a raise already! We had today off work so caught up on all my errands I've slacked off on due to tech week and exhaustion.
Training is back in full force, and I'm finding myself wanting to eat better. Since I dont cook AT ALL and never will I'm on a hunt to find easy/quick ways to do this. (Bite me kitchen? Any tips for us?) I bought some greens, and a good dressing and mom made chicken the other night so I do plan to throw together a 5 minute salad...hopefully I can come up with more ideas.
I do have a new physical issue I've got to deal with - the famous foot thing again. My chiropracter is thinking it actually may be something called neuroma. Looks like an MRI of my foot is in my future. But I'll handle it. Guess I may have to just work upper body at the gym for a bit.
I do need to hunker down and get my finances in order. I'm really really wanting to go to Coachella this year, but its not looking good. Plus if I start forkin out some medical bills...eeesh.
I've added a few photos from this month so far and I'm feeling good. Now that my head is above water after No Exit opening I'm excited to keep moving in the direction I am. Things are still changing. I dig it.
Tonite - I'm thinkin wine and hot tub.......