Good Friday...

Today is Good Friday.  And it is just that.  Good.



I have the day off and figured why not visit my old friend the BlogSpot.  I realize I haven't been blogging as much as I used to, but I've also figured I've been doing a bunch of other stuff that you readers don't know about. 



Are there readers?

I wonder that sometimes.  Who out there is reading my pointless ramblings on the internet.  I of course know a few, my faithful friends, who seem to like to read my silliness.  My dad used too, but I think my horrific grammar has turned him away.  Sadly I write like I talk.  Punctuation?  Paragraphs?  Unnecessary.  I'm also a horrible speller.  My favorite word I miss spell is forward.  I usually leave out the 1st r.  ALL THE TIME.  Because that's how I say it. Ha!  Anywhoo...I'm rambling.



Notice I'm trying to make more paragraphs?  I went to a grammar workshop the other day and although it was more focused towards business writing, not blogging, I figured I'd try to improve here.  We'll see how long that lasts.  Sorry dad :)



So - an update on what I've been doing and how I've been feeling post hemorrhage.  That's how I like to refer to things now.  Pre hemorrhage and post hemorrhage.  Since I have officially become a cliché and my perspective on life has completely changed, I figure why not?  It's an interesting place this post hemorrhage.  It's happier.  More relaxed.  More grateful.  More open to trying new things.  Oh and by the way - did I mention I'm blogging on my spankin new laptop?  It's a shift (Windows 8, Office 2000 something in the future) but it's mine.  Thank you again daddy! 



Let's start with my fitness.  I haven't stopped.  I love it.  Boxing Burn Mon/Wed/Sat.  Bowling Tuesdays and Zumba Fridays.  I'm usually on a hike or a walk with a friend Sunday mornings and my new pad is a good walk from the Orange Circle and the local Saturday morning Farmers Market.  I love it.  I still have to be careful due to the tumor (more on that later) but I would say I'm pretty much back full speed.  The difference now, though, is I'm not obsessed.  I work out to feel good, not to look good.  Yes - I really do want this damn muffin top to move along, but it's just not the same.  Every work out I do, I think to myself, "I am so lucky and grateful that I am able to do this."  Because I am.  I recovered like a champ.  It really does seem forever ago that I was laid up, and crying, and recovering, and wondering if the pain in my back and head would ever go away, and yearning to be outside in the summertime, and feeling so guilty and embarrassed that friends had to bring me food and come visit me while I was in bed flinching at every move.  That's over.  I've also signed up for 4 races and excited for them all.  Warrior Dash in a week, ROC race in May, Run for your Lives (as a zombie) in Sept and Rugged Maniac in Oct.  I'm not going to lie - I'm a bit nervous for Warrior Dash. This will be my 1st race back, but finishing it will now have a whole new meaning I think.



Next up we have the mind.  I'm doing the Deepak Chopra 21 day meditation challenge.  I'll do a separate blog on that later, but I'm enjoying it.  I also say my "metas" every morning and am trying to bring more acts of kindness into my regular routine.  I've also sparked up an awesome ongoing dialogue with an amazing friend of mine about faith.  More on that later as well.  Still working out how I feel about that one, but I am actually getting somewhere I think.



Lastly - food.  This one is tough.  I consider myself a pretty healthy eater for the most part.  I don't drink soda, don't eat fast food, limit my sweets, etc.  But the lingering muffin top makes me question that there's still something I'm missing.  I've always hated vegetables.  I put kale or spinach in my smoothies to get some sort of green in my diet, but that has always been a toughie.  Well - for some reason, I seem to me more willing to try stuff.  Again - I chalk it up to post hemorrhage.  My friend Cesar, who makes me dinner sometimes, God love him, got me to eat cauliflower.  Now - I'll eat cauliflower if it's cold and I can dip it in ranch or something.  Well, he did something do it that made it like mashed potatoes and it had garlic (love) and onion (love) and it was amazing!!!!  I also have another friend of mine, who is a phenomenal cook and has started a new business with her hubs that makes organic healthy food for you to pick up weekly.  And there's a drop off in Orange!!!!!  So, once I realized how easy it actually was - pick out however many or less meals you want, order online, mail them a check, bam - healthy food available for pick up just down the street.  She even got me to eat brussel sprouts!!!!!!  www.bitemekitchen.com is the place.  I advise you check them out.  Another funny thing, I hate broccoli.  We went to lunch yesterday for a co-workers birthday and there was broccoli in my wok chicken thing I ordered.  Guess what - I ATE IT!  It had enough sauce on it that it was yummy!!!  So - who knows - I may eat my vegetables regularly yet.  My next step is cutting back on my carbs, which is tough because I love me some bread and pasta, but I'm going to try.  But, again, I'm not obsessed.  I love food and I will always enjoy it.  But I seem to be finding healthier ways too do so, which is awesome.



So here we are.  I've had to adjust my life slightly due to the schwanoma.  Little bastard.  I still have random nausea attacks that we THINK is positional, but not sure.  So I try to be careful.  I'm so friggin aware of how I turn my head, stand up, bend over, what I watch on TV shaky wise, ANYTHING that I think may set it off.  So all you folks trying to be more aware of your body - wait till you have something that will knock you on your ass unexpectedly and it's fascinating how aware you become.  I'm not one for meds, but I finally landed at my primary doctor to get something to try when one of these attacks happen.  It's an anti-nausea drug of sorts that hopefully will help curtail when one of these happen.  They don't happen often, so that is the blessing, but I'm hoping I'm more prepared now if one comes.  Next January will be another MRI to see what is next.  But in the meantime I have a new approach now on hand if one of these happens.  Well in my purse anyway.



So there it is in a nutshell.  I'm also journaling a bit a night, treating myself to a pedi now and then, loving my new little pad, soaking up time with loved ones, just enjoying life.  Still waiting for that fabulous man to show up, but he will.  I know it.  I'm still seeing hearts ;)



It's weird when your outlook changes, I move slower, enjoy moments more, get angry less, smile easily and laugh a lot.  I thought my life was already like that before, and it was a bit, I was on a path that was going in that direction, but I've landed there now.  I feel my purpose in life is to make people laugh, to smile and hopefully inspire.  Bizarre ya?  But cool.