Craptastic with a good end....

You know when you have those days where everything just blows?
Work sucks, everything goes wrong, people piss you off.
Your cranky. Stomach matted with irritation and anger and your wondering if you have a stomach ulcer.
Nothing goes right.
That was today.

Then it turned around. Text from T. Happy Hour?
Lovely conversation with one of my besties. Wine. Cornbeef Tacos. Cigs. Silly conversation behind me.
Driving home there it is - the moon. One of those nights when she's huge and beautiful and looking down on us. I swear I can touch her. I want to keep driving towards her and see if I can actually reach her - she's that close. No lights needed. She lights up the night sky like a beacon of hope. Stunning.
I pull in my driveway - waltz inside and drag my mom out to look at her glory.

Then hot tub time with good conversation with mom. Laughing. Forgetting the drama that we're currently dealing with.

Now early to bed, I'm sleepy and happy. All the bullshit that went on today is forgotten. I love a happy ending.

WBOD...March 22nd...

So I'm totally laggin on this, but now I'm grabbing ones that grab me - so this isnt nessasarily March 22nd, but its one of last weeks:
"If I had my way..."

If I had my way I would have the ability to make whatever I want happen - happen.
I would bring a wonderful man into my mother's life. A man who would love her, see her for the beautiful person she is inside and out, who would treat her with respect and be fun and love her. I would pay off all my brother's debt and buy the house that he lives in with his wife that they love so much. I would get my dad unlimited golf trips. I would go back 20 years in my grandparents lives and freeze them there - taking away all thier pain, thier confusion the horrible process of old age. I would fly my grandad out here with his pup and set him up good. I would send my other brother on a world trip so he could see it all. I would give my friends any wish they wanted. I would plan a trip on a private jet and fly me and my friends all over the damn place and of course not have motion sickness. All the struggling storefront theaters would have a kick ass home (Monkey Wrench would of course probably have the coolest...) I would open people's minds. It would be so fucking cool to meet people and if they are a good person give them something awesome and if they are an asshole...oooo karma bitches! Leave ridiculously fat tips to waiters or waitresses that are fantastic. Get all my friends who have kids - an insance scholarship so the kids could have outstanding education. There would be no war, no hatred, no bullshit. And for myself - a little shack on the beach with my kitteh's. I'd probably own a winery that made the best wine in the world. Ahhhh the fantasy life....it'd be fucking cool....

It'll come together....

I want it to come together.
My show.
We've been rehearsing for I dont even know how long now.
Postphoned.
Rehearsed.
Postphoned.
My brother has joined the cast - I'm so excited I cant stand it! Watching him onstage makes me so proud! He's doing so well, and enjoying it, and realizing the work we all put in to our shows.
Postphoned. Space shut down.
Are we going to go up?
We dont know. We still are rehearsing, but now there's a worry in the air...is it goin to happen?
We have a possible temporary space! It would be such a great opportunity!
We rehearse.
Falls through.
There's a press war. There's constant emails and phone calls. "Is the show happening?" I dont know I have to answer...we're trying. I'll keep you posted.
Its so fucking tragic its almost amusing at this point.
Our option B pans out.
We are rehearsing again. But only 3 rehearsals. Only 1 tech. We open Saturday.
Monday was painful. A clusterfuck. One of my poor co-horts got the brunt of my frustration. We're trying to re-stage a show that was in a small deep setting and now we're in a long horizontal setting with a stair case.
WTF.
Everyone is strung out and stressed and frustrated. The passion seems to be gone. We've been at this for so godamn long back and forth and back and forth.
Our director reached his wits end last night I think. Our rehearsal - fuses were blowing. We have mice. We're trying to put up a play in a very non-theatrical location. Actors are missing cues and lines due to the confusion and frustration. We keep stopping and changing what we're doing. No one knows whats going on. Its hotter then fucking Hell in there. I wanted to cry. Everyone was tired and so stressed out. It was St. Paddy's Day.
We have 1 more.
Tommorrow.
Our only tech rehearsal with lights, and sound and costumes. I hope to GAWD no fuses blow. Our sound works. Our costumes dont rip. Our makeup doesnt drip. We adapt to our new enviroment. Please. Please.
Here is why:
I love acting. I loved this show when I read it. I read this particular scene when my character and her 2 brothers have a speech to the audience. A pre-slaughter speech. Revenge. It's beautiful. It's bad ass. I wanted it. I got it. Our principal actors are fantastic. We have an all-star cast. I've been so godamn excited to do this show. One of our frustrating evenings when something went wrong, I remember Dave saying "We're doing this show goddammit! I've wanted to direct this for 10 years!". My little brother is making his stage debut! He's doing so good! It's so fucking amazing to have my little brother be a part of this with me. This part of my life that has and hopefully will always be a huge part of my life - he's in the brunt of it with me! So many of us have put so much into this. I hugged Dave last nite knowing he's spread so thin. I hope he hasnt given up. Some of my fellow actors have put extra time in helping, building, moving. Our SM is holding on by a thread. We need that passion back. I love this fucking show. I want it to be amazing. I want our passion back. This bitch needs to open on Saturday and fucking rock. It has too! And you know what? It fucking will dammit!