Already taking a break from online dating...

 This blog was originally going to just be a collection of WTF's of dating.  That was going to be the title, but I'm too jaded and too bitter to continue right now.  I thought I was done with online dating.  I thought I had met a really great guy earlier this year and I found my person and I was so fucking giddily happy.  I finally had what I've been longing for, for so damn long.  WELP - that was ripped away from me when he turned out to actually NOT be the wonderful man I thought he was.

So I dove back into the online dating world to try again.  Back to square one.  Honestly I was hoping to meet someone before the holidays come around because I can't bear to think of yet ANOTHER holiday season without my person.  But here it is, November, and I'm finding that I'm just done.  If I read another goddamn profile that says "Love to Travel!"  "No Drama"  "Living life to the fullest!" or see another picture of a dude holding a fish, or so many people in the picture you can't tell which one the dude is, or the dude covered up in hats and sunglasses, or pictures of the fucking scenery, I'm going to break my phone in half.  If another asshole emails me, then texts me and it seems we're going to go out and sometimes even make an actual date then ghosts LIKE THEY ALL SEEM TO FUCKING DO, I'm going to actually start just stabbing random men because they have a penis.



So - I need to pause.  I need to not online date for a couple of months.  The holidays are going to be hard enough so let's not throw the depressing, anxiety ridden HellHole that is online dating into the mix.  I'm not totally quitting - I will go back after the new year.  I may try Match.  Haven't given that one a go yet.  But unless that wonderful man who is meant to be my person shows up in a fucking Santa Suit and makes my Xmas the best Xmas ever - I'm not giving up.  I will go back at it.  But not now.  I just don't have it in me.

So in the meantime - enjoy the WTF's I collected below and realize why you'll never hear someone say "I just love online dating!"


So here is a couple of moments in the Online Dating Hell that has made me or my friends go:




This isn't dating app/site specific - just moments.  So here ya go:

Jami WTF moment #1 - dude on Bumble.  We're chatting a bit.  He's got a cutie patootie little girl.  He's pretty tatted, bearded, longer hair but I dig me some scruff.  After maybe 2 days of chatting (we never exchanged digits thank GAWD) I get the "Is a head tattoo a deal breaker?".

I ask "Are you getting one". He says yes.  I say "Are you shaving your head then?" He says yes, but will grow his hair back after that tattoo, then proceeds to explain it's like having tattoos under your clothes. I'm thinking...ummmm not really at all.  He says he wants to get one cuz it's cool.  I waited a day or two on this (because am I too vain?), but no.  I just can't.  I love tattoos but head/face...little much.

Girlfriend WTF moment #2.  This friend of mine is goddamn hilarious.  I call her Wonderfully Weird.  She's fucking amazing and has a quirky awesome sense of humor that always has me in stitches.  She's handling douchebags just fine.  Take a look:

This is the "Tits" pic she sent

Jami WTF moment #3.  So you all know about "ghosting".  This happens 99.9% of the time it seems whether you've met up or not.  Dudes ghost.  Period.  Well - I met the opposite.  I went on a date with this guy who had made the comment that he would never "ghost" and was surprised how much I expected people to do so. (This guy must be new).  So we went on a date, he text me later saying I was cool, etc but there was no spark.  I text back that I appreciate the honesty, etc.  He lived up to his word.  Didn't ghost.  But then...the next day I get a text "Just wanted to drop a hello so you wouldn't think I ghosted".  Umm.....WTF?  So I text back "You didn't and again, I thank you for your honesty but you basically said we didn't click".  Seriously dude?  You blew me off.  Thank you for not "ghosting" but go away.


Girlfriend WTF moment #4.  My wonderful friend I refer to as my mini me sent me her addition.  Um.  This guy. 

Date WTF moment #5.  So I went on a date with this guy, and we were talking about bad dates.  He told me a gal he went out with farted every 10 minutes, loudly, and acted like nothing was happening.  He actually started timing it.


So there's a few tidbits for you.
See you next year.
I'm done.