My Tap Dance with Tinder...

Yeah I know.
Online dating has been nothing but heartbreak and anxiety for me.  But - it's made for some funny blogs so why not keep going with it!

So I signed up on Tinder for purely research purposes.  I looked at it this way - if I actually do meet someone - dope - it's like a bonus.  But, it's Tinder.  I mean.  Tinder.  The hook up site.  In fact - some of the dudes snark at people looking for a serious relationship on Tinder.  One guy's profile said "Looking for fun - seriously those of you looking for relationships?!  Get off my hook up site!"
Legit.

The cool part about this site is, since it's such a fucking joke, I'm not at all invested.  I'll "match" with someone - we email a bit - he's gone.  Nothing personal and I'm not surprised.  I'm just like - and NEXT.

So - things I've observed:

• It feels like a total hook site.  Most dudes are like - "In town for a week!"  Or "Looking for a good time, you serious types swipe left!"  Or my favorite - "My girlfriend and I are looking for a playmate - no drama!"
• I swiped left so much.  I actually got a thumb cramp.  I am officially a vain asshole.  Tinder turns you vain.
• There's a few married guys on there saying they don't get affection at home so they're looking for a woman. EW!
•  Lots of dudes like to pose with their shirt off.  Which brings me to my next point:
• Lots of eye candy for sure.  Of course I swipe left but hot damn.
• I've seen some of my e-Harmony dudes on there.
• I saw my friends boyfriend on there.  UGH.  That was an awkward text to send to her.
• Girls must always ask about height because almost every dudes profile had their height and a snarky comment following it like "6'2 because apparently that's at thing" or "5'11 since you always seem to want to know".  
• I found I was very forward on Tinder. If we got to emailing I'd say "Are you a conservative republican?  Are you super religious?  Are you allergic to cats?"  Shit like that.  Some dudes found it refreshing.
• One of my dude friends let me swipe through his Tinder when we had dinner one night and for some reason most girls have a ducklips pose.
• Some dudes are straight up like - "I'm in town once a month - I'm great in bed!" or "I love to eat pussy." Yup.  Not kidding.
• I actually did exchange numbers with a few dudes for funners and got some great wine and movie recommendations!
• Some guys have a great sense of humor - this guy said "I have a naked shower picture in my profile".  You scroll and find this:
  
  Well played David 38.
• I exchanged #'s with 2 guys named Matt.  The way these online dudes go in my phone is James - Eharmony, etc and for this - Matt-Tinder.  Well I got confused so one dude was Matt Beard Tinder since he had a big ol beard.
• Do all guys fish?  I swear every other picture is a dude holding a fish.
• I've also been told the gals are always posing with Tigers?  Is this true fellas?  
• There are some dudes who have pictures of their junk.  Undies on because I'm sure Tinder wouldn't allow THAT but still.  Are you fucking kidding me? 
• When I was emailing one dude I said "Are you looking for a hook up or a serious relationship?" he said "Strange Question".  I said "It's Tinder".  His response - "Touche" Thank you Brian 38.
• You're only matched by age and distance. It's amazing the freaks that apparently are around me.
• I'm sharing an experience from a friend - she had a date with Tinder dude...showed up - Missing most of his teeth.  She said "He looked hot in his photos but he never smiled!"  Oh my.
• I actually did get a couple of dates out of it - and guess what - better than most of the E-Harmony dates I went on. I feel I literally swiped through 100's to get to these two though.
• If a dude actually emails you - you may get a few emails in and they stop.
• If you get to phone # exchange, which was really rare, all (but the 2 dates I had) eventually just ghosted.
• I'm already over it.  I think I lasted a month.  Deleted it today.

In conclusion - Tinder is weird.  I feel it's very impersonal and strange.  I would definitely say it's a hook up site.  You can probably meet someone you can have a relationship with but you have to put a lot of time and swiping into it, but I only lasted a month.  If I continue with the online date, I suppose I'll stick to the paid sites.  At least they try to match you based on algorithms and what not.  Although as I type this I'm still single.  Sigh.  Dating in this technology age is hard.