Thursday, November 14, 2013

Mentors and people who inspire...



I’m participating in a couple of different meditation challenges right now and one of them is based on Gratitude.  This morning’s meditation focused on Mentors.  As I meditated I found the people who I consider mentors floating through my mind but also the people who inspire me.  The difference, for me, between mentors and people who inspire is mentors are almost like teachers.  They are the ones that have taught you certain things, certain aspects of life etc.  People who inspire are just that – I look at their lives and they are an inspiration.  I wanted to touch on those who have touched my life in those two ways in this blog.

It seems obvious to say my parents are mentors but it’s true.  My mom has mostly taught me about compassion and imagination.  One of my favorite memories was she would have us lay down outside on the grass and look at the clouds and tell her what shapes we saw.  The clouds would come alive as animals, people, shapes and stories.  Shane and I would create stories together as the clouds shifted into different things.  She also always encouraged us to see the beauty in nature.  “Look how beautiful the trees are!” she’d yell excitedly as we drove through the Redwoods one time.  She’s always been so patient and kind to others and I feel it’s finally rubbed off on me after all these years.  People would say she could walk into a chaotic crowded subway and everyone would suddenly feel calm.  I have noticed people lately have wanted me around because I calm them, or keep situations light, or make them laugh.  I attribute this right back to my mother.

My dad on the other hand has taught me how to be strong.  Ambitious.  Assertive.  I remember when I played softball, after practice for 2 hours he would pick me up and take me to the batting cages for another hour or so, or hit me balls.  When I played tennis I had my practice and afterwards practice with him.  He often assisted coaching a lot of my sports.  The other teammates would groan when dad would show up because he would kick our ass.  Weakness was not accepted.  I had a problem with this for years and thought it had hardened me.   I never felt like I was good enough.  It took me growing up into the person I am now to realize he was teaching me how to live.  I attack life with gusto and strength.  It takes a lot to bring me down.  I’m strong and I’m proud of it.  I’m a survivor and I’m proud of it.  I’ve turned my life around from partying, drinking, smoking, lack of sleep, eating like shit, not caring about myself to who I am today.  A healthy woman who prides herself on wellness.  I have a steady job.  I keep my passions a part of my life and don’t let anything get in my way.  I know this is because of how my dad raised me.

My friend Mic Nottingham is another person I like to refer to as a mentor.  He saw something in me that no one else saw when I was new to the stage.  I had dabbled a bit in high school but when I came to college I was clueless.  No one would cast me or give me a second glance.  But he did.  He took many chances on me and helped me get over my self-consciousness.  He taught me how to be a better actor.  To let myself go. To allow myself to become the character I was portraying.  His enthusiasm in me spread to others and more people started to have faith in me.  We always stayed good friends.  He now lives up north and I miss him tremendously but I know we’ll see each other again.  He paid me one of the sweetest compliments I ever received.  “You give me hope in humanity.” He told me once as we sat at the beach having one of our deep discussions we used to get into.  He was on a tangent and was saying he refuses to be friends with anyone who isn’t intelligent or political.  I laughed and asked why he was friends with me and that was his response.  He has always loved my heart and he sees it in my mom as well.  This means more to me now in my life than ever.

I’m finding I also look to my current boss Carol as a mentor.  She is one of the most intelligent passionate people I have met.  She’s very political, very opinionated and loves animals more than people.  I took this job 3 years ago and she has taught me so much already.  If I have a weakness (grammar mainly) she helps me.  Sends me to seminars.  Encourages me when I’m down and rewards me when I do well.  I would trust her with anything.  I watch how she deals with others around her and she has earned herself such a level of respect around here it’s amazing.  She knows her shit and she’s proud of her staff.  She should be, she brings the best out of all of us I believe.  When the time comes when we may not work side by side anymore I know we will stay in touch.  I have grown so fond of her and learned so much. 

Now let’s move into those who have inspired me.  Let’s start with Mel.  I met Mel way back in the 1st days of The Hunger Artists.  She is a ridiculously talented artist and pulls no punches.  She knows what she wants and she does it.  The woman is the type of person that doesn’t just repaint her kitchen, she would remodel it.  Herself.  I jokingly refer to her as the female Bob Villa.  There were times when we were running HA together that she would say – let’s build an apartment complex onstage!  I’m standing there in our teeny tiny theater space shaking my head saying “There’s no way”.  But she’s running around like a spider monkey describing her idea.  She did it.  I couldn’t believe it.  Even the reviewers who came to the show raved about the amazing set.  A few shows down the line she was telling me an idea about a giant 10 foot Godzilla foot that will come down and smash an actor.  Again, I’m shaking my head.  A few weeks later I’m standing on a ladder painting the damn thing she created with chicken wire and paper Mache.  She sold her Harley (Yes she had one) and put a down payment on a house.  A big house!  In Costa Mesa!  She bought it back with the market was good and knows just how to manage her finances.  She’s an incredible nurse at Hoag (Yes a nurse!).  She is now married with a darling young boy I’m fascinated by watching how she raises him.  Meeting her you might be taken aback by her tactless sharp way about her but she has a heart of gold.  She loves the environment, animals, people, her friends and family so much.  She’s always been an inspiration.

I’ve also been inspired by another friend of mine by the name of Rose.  When we were closer and spent more time together I would listen in awe as she would ramble off these crazy ideas she had – then do them!  She told me stories of when she went sky diving!  Rock Climbing!  She was an incredible cook and I loved when she would call me up and have me come over and she would make us dinner and we’d drink and chat the night away.  Always the best meals I ever had.  She was so active and threw her entire being into everything she did.  She was crafty and gorgeous and athletic and multi-talented.  She inspired me to be more active.  To get up in the mornings (when I was living in Costa Mesa) before work and walk the beautiful back bay and watch the sunrise.  Whenever I would mention thinking about doing something – anything – she’d say go for it!  We drifted apart for a few years but have reconnected and now she owns her own food business that she opened with her husband.  I followed her blogs and stories and watched as she dove headfirst in to Triathlons, then upped and now she’s a friggin Ironman!  She’s also planning some crazy 50 mile summit run thing.  I’m blown away by each task she takes on.  She eventually made the scary move of quitting her full time well-paying job to focus solely on Bite Me Kitchen.  And now her and her hubs seem happier than ever.  She, just like Mel, is so multi-talented!  She’s always encouraging still when I’m thinking of trying something new.  Truly and inspiration.

My friend Rebecca is also an inspiration to me.  This girl used to work with me at the very colorful Opera Pacific back in the day.  I immediately adored her positive uplifting spirit.  She is much younger than me but I always teased her that she had an old soul.  She was super artistic and funky and immensely talented in the design world.  She is also a devout Christian.  Although I don’t fall into any religion myself I always admired her dedication.  She isn’t one of those scary crazy Christians, she was normal!  She is very liberal, supports gay rights, super compassionate.  She up and moved out to Denver Colorado and has made an incredible life for herself out there.  She just bought a condo and she’s so very happy.  We talked a lot about spirituality and life especially last year after everything I went through and she helped me to come to the path that I have chosen in life spiritually.  When I saw her when she was in town it was perfection.  As if she never left.  We are miles apart yes, but our friendship means so much.  She has always been an inspiration.

I’m so very lucky to have the quality of friends and family I have in my life.  I have a cousin up in Oregon I love so very much.  My grandparents mean the world to me.  A brother who takes care of me and helps me out with things only a man can do.  (He’s taking my truck into the shop tomorrow!).  My world is full of amazing friends, especially women!  I am surrounded by such a strong group of women it’s incredible.  I could touch on each and every one of them but this blog would go on for days.  In fact…I think I see a “Why I love my women friends” blog coming soon after this….

Mentors are important in our life I believe to help us on our path.  People who inspire us guide us in the direction our hearts want us to take.  Having the support of those who love you and will be there for you and bring you peanut butter crackers when you are hungry, and send you a loving text when they know you are down, and bring you lunches when you are recovering, and scold you like a mom because they care, and pay for things when they know you can’t afford them, and post something silly or cute just because they know you like it, who hug you when you need it, who kick your ass to work out when you don't want to, and are just there.  There in your life.  You can count on them.  It’s an amazing feeling knowing you are surrounded by such great people and I am so very lucky that I have so many.

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