Monday, February 14, 2011

Magic happened last night...







I had the awesome opportunity to be part of a very silly random night of theater, that reminded me why I love this art so much. There used to be a group of artists that got together and wrote, rehearsed, threw together a night of theater/music pretty much in a couple of days. This turned into an annual Adults Only Xmas Pageant. Well, its been a few years since they have done one and one of the crew decided to do it again and give the proceeds to MWC that is dark for a few months. Since it was the day before Valentine’s Day, it was centered around that. We got together a couple of times and threw around some ideas, then read some possible choices. We had an extremely energetic amazing director and the guy putting this together was nothing but eager and positive the whole time. The crew of actors are some of the much more seasoned actors of the OC Theater scene, and I was flattered to be among them. I was equally flattered when word got out about all that was involved and that made the buzz even greater and the comments going around like “Amazing cast!” “Best actors in OC” “What an talented group!”. Blushing, I realized I was one of them. We sort of had a rehearsal or two, but not really…then we all arrived early yesterday to get the thing together. The director arrived with the gaudiest of V-day décor and one of our writers/singers waltzed in with probably about 30-40 heart balloons. With the help of our faboo friends running the board and house the décor went up, a cue to cue was run, the musicians practiced and us actors were scurrying around trying to make costumes, props and hair all work together. Nerves and excitement were high. The house began to fill up, more rows were added – all the way up to the stage. Lets just say one couple got a very nice up close and personal view of my pasties. The musicians started the pre-show and the scurrying, excitement and energy blew up backstage. We all nailed our hilarious sketches, laughter filled the house. Our show probably ran 20 minutes longer due to the constant holding for uproarious laughter. We laughed our way through Fuck Family, my Palin monologue was a hit. The other bits were fantastic and funny and offensive and fun. The musicians were great and fun as well. The night ended with all of us at the curtains waiting for the final curtain call like ending. I looked around in the cramped room at all these talented people, drinking beers and wine, smiling and listening to one of our own playing guitar and singing to the heavens. I felt we were all one for just a minute, all happy, exhausted and ever so slightly moving to the music – and magic. That was the moment. This is why I love this. Especially this way, with these people. It was one of the funnest days of my life. We walked out onstage singing “All you need is Love” to cheers and applause. I couldn’t stop smiling. The evening ended on as good of a note when my bro and his wife, the roomie and a couple other actors landed at the Irish Pub across the way listening to an Irish Duo pretty much doing what I just finished. Silly, talented musicians (and adorable as all hell) singing to a mostly empty bar but you could tell they loved every moment. And earlier on this day, my prior blog explains how my day started.
February 13th, 2011 was a good day.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I love my Papa...

I know you all know this.
I know you all know I love this man so much it makes my heart hurt.
But I want to write a little blog about what happened today. Sunday's I'm on grandaughter duty and usually head over to my grandparents for a few hours to help them out since Sunday is the only day they dont have a care giver or ma there. Well mom relays to me last night, that Papa wanted me to pick up a dozen roses for gramma for Valentine's Day. He gets her roses every year, and since he cant get them himself now it has fallen into my hands. I choose to go to Albertson's because I REFUSE to hit a flower shop that is going to charge something equal to a mortgage payment for a shotty couple of flowers. I look at every single arrangement trying to find the best one. I of course probably take more time then I should have, but I wanted a pretty one. I finally settle on one set (Still a little irrirated at the price, but its less then a flower store) and make my purchase. I pick up Starbux for us all and head over. The front door is wide open, so I sneak around the back and put them down in a shady spot. I then come in the front with my usual hellos and slip the little card into Papa's hand telling him the flowers are outside. Gramma of course is wondering what he has and I shout out her to get her ass in the kitchen to help me out. She shuffles in mumbling that I dont need to be so bossy. (Nosey little butt). I stall her in there why I watch Papa struggle to fill write ont he little card. When gramma starts heading back in, I bee line for Pops who says he's done and wishes he could write better. I grab the card, tell gramma I forgot something in the car and run out to grab the bouqet. I look at the little card. All it says is "To My Love". Tears well up in my eyes. He loves her so much. I have to pause as I stare down at the little card with the shaky writing that says simply. "To My Love". I shake it off and prance in the door to gramma's beaming face. Papa is standing now, and she shuffles over to him saying this deserves a kiss. I go to the kitchen to add more water to the vase and not interrupt thier little moment. I hear the little lovey words and smooches behind me and smile. 96 years old and 92 years old and the love these two has for each other blows my mind every time. As I leave the house I break down crying. It's so hard to love someone so much. I hope everyone can.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Positive Injection Please...

I need it.
I'm feelin a bit low lately - not like I used to though!!! Lets just clarify that right now! Pretty much for the season of winter has always been a hard time for me, fighting through the cold crappy dry weather (yes for SoCal...) is a big part, but for some reason depression usually hits the hardest around this time. BUT! For the last...probably 3 years or so I havent had that problem. I was JUST talking with my roomie about that the other day, how glad I am I dont go through those really low points anymore. I believe growing and changing has stopped that but there are a few moments like now that I'm just feeling a little blue. So I'm going to whine a bit on this blog because I can.
I've slacked on the photo taking but there actually hasnt really been anything all that exciting going on anyway. I'm having a bit of a rough patch. I know being sick YES AGAIN!!!! is not helping. A little over a week ago, I got my yearly sinus infection. Unfortunatly I get these once a year it seems around this time. The left side of my face feels like mini knives are shooting through it, my left glad swells slightly and I get the awful ugly god forsaken fever blister on my lip. This is the only time in my life I become completely vain. I feel so ugly and embarrased (even though its not that bad, friends who know how much I want to crawl in a hole convince me its not that bad but still). I hate it. Then for some reason this time around - the fucking cold followed it up. Fri nite I started feeling blargh and bam - cold. Awesome. So here I type - sniffling and annoyed. I did actually to to my Dr. today - I had made a yearly appointment and happen to get sick beforehand. He's not too worried about the cold, doesnt know what to do with the sinus infection and thinks I'm peachy keen. I get bloodwork this week, but I'm probably fine. Except for the foot - I am to go to another Dr. to get that looked at and dealt with. Fuck. I'm not gonna lie...a lil freaked out about that.
I'm still in the show I am not enjoying, but only one more weekend left THANK GAWD. I didnt get cast in a show I really wantd to be in, I'm only a bitty part in this fundraiser I am really looking foward too so I'm fighting the acting inferiority complex and wonder if I've been wasting my life all these years. I've barely touched my camera and my notebook lies empty. Needless to say my creativity is not flowing right now and that is killing me. I'm lonley and confused with the boy scene as per usual and I did decide to go to Coachella which I'm excited about but did of course take a financial hit. Plus all thats going on in the world right now is ripping my heart apart.
So blah. There's the purge, a small portion of it because I dont even want to hear myself whine too much. Ugh. I do hate these phases, but this too shall pass right?
Lets some up some good stuff....A couple of people have noticed my working out paying off. I've gotten a couple of surprise compliments which makes me feel really good. (more please). A dear friend of mine is preggers with her 2nd...which weirdly I knew before she told me...then another good friend is preggers with her 1st...I had a dream about her being with kid before she told me...and did I mention I knew one of my co-workers was preggo months before she told me? She's calling me the baby whisperer. I surprised another dear friend for her bday dinner one nite - surrounded by ALOT of children and handled it quite well I might add. I caught up with a dude I love so much who I used to work at PSO with and we caught each other up on our new jobs, etc. A few dinners with other friends, catching up and celebrated my Papa's 96th birthday Fri nite. So its been a decent few weeks aside from fighting the depression.
So on ward and upward I hope. I know once I'm not sick and dont look like a diseased whore I'll perk up a bit. I'm thinking its ok I didnt get cast, because I'm trying to focus on me right now and look what No Exit did to me. I'm also trying to convice myself its ok to be single, because I'm FOCUSING ON ME. I never realized how friggin hard it is to focus on myself. I've got to throw myself into some new stuff, something I need/want. The problem is I just dont think I know what that is yet, but I need to take the time to find out.
I can get through this.
I can.