Ouch...

Blindsided again.
Yes I cried. Yes I was hurt. But I'm not going to let it get me depressed, instead I will write a hopefully entertaining bitch blog. So here we go:
I have decided that if you have a penis then I have absolutley no fucking idea what to do with you. I'll admit it - I'm bad at dating. I have no idea what I'm doing. I came out of a very bitter marriage leaving me extremley closed off to the opposite sex. When I finally started actually looking at you boys again, none of you got past my wall. We had fun, then we were done. I did this for quite a while. Then a certain someone shook that up a little. This particular kid (Yes I say kid - your all boys) got under my skin somewhat and we had a really odd off and on whatever you want to call it sort of things. Confused? Join the club. It was never serious - ever - but it was something and of course I didnt know what to do with it. In the interim of course was my usual "have fun then we're done". Then I was set up on a blind date. I of course was mortified. I've never been on a blind date let alone really a date actually...Dude turned out to be alright and in the back of my head is one of my girlfriends screaming "You have to open yourself up!!! Give it a chance!!!" So I went for it. Dude asked to be "exclusive" I guess was the word he used, so I went for it. Sadly we were 2 totally different people. Dude was never an asshole, in fact we're still friends, but we just couldnt work - but hey - I tried for 6 months!!! Record for Miss Jamikat over here. Back to the nothing serious's. I was perfectly fine with this. Then comes along a new one. Feelings. Oh crap. There they are. I actually really like this one. Dammit. So instead of fighting it, I kind of try to see what will happen. Just when I start thinking it may be cool - SMACK - the rug is pulled out from under me - all of a sudden there's a girlfriend. WTF!!! That hurt. So now here I am feeling like a total jackass. And mind you - right back where I started from with you boys - Confused. I dont get it. I dont get you. I dont know how to date. I just dont know. I'm 34 years old. Seriously you think I would have figured something out by now. Nope. Not the case at all. Your all fucking weird and friends wonder why I'm "closed off". Yes yes I know there are successful relationships out there, in fact I think us single people are becoming a minority....but you know what? Those people in relationships - they must know some secret code that I am just not aware of. So you know what I do? I throw my hands up, I walk away shaking my head. I just dont get you fuckers.
Signed
The Future Crazy Cat Lady