2008 Year...

2008 is comin to a close and time to look back and review the good and the bad. This year started off pretty good, but then unfortunatly ended on a bad note, but - I'm still tryin my hardest to stay positive and I am confident that 2009 is going to be great! So here we go:
January:
The biggest highlight here is Beirut. This was a play I was in love with the first time I read it. I fell in love with the story, the rawness, how real it was, and the innocent love these two people had for each other. I brought it to Dave as a passion project and he agreed to direct, loving the play as well. We brought Alex in as my co-lead both of us trusting he could carry the role and I've worked with him before and he and I have history together and are good friends, so the chemistry we needed was there. We put it up as a 2nd stage at Rude Guerrilla not expecting it to do very well, but wanting to do it none the less. We brought Rick in for the creepy guard - again someone I adore and trust. Alexander stepped in to AD and stage manage and we had our perfect crew. The show turned out to be amazing, got fantastic reviews and we sold out our last weekend. It ended up being one of the best shows at RG that season. When the show closed, Dave and I both teary eyed and proud - hugged each other. It was a bitter sweet ending, because I loved the show so much, it turned out just how I wanted, challenged me and Alex as actors and was a huge success!
February:
My birthday month! I honestly cant remember what I did on my actual birthday....anyone? But T and I were in planning for Club J.E.T.
March:
Club J.E.T. - This was our piceses celebration for me, Erika and Terri at Bistro 400. T and I got together and planned a "Red" party. We had passed hors'de'voures, everyone wore red, the Bistro decorated the entire place with lights and red decor, we had faboo DJ Sergio, a giant picture of us 3 girls and over 150 people came and went throughout the evening. It seriously ended up being the party of the year. Us 3 girls wore tiara's all night and felt like 3 princesses - Yup the Piceses Princesses. Everyone had a blast! A handful of us ended the evening at 3am at a 24 hour Taco joint in downtown Santa Ana. Happy Birthday to us! Also in March was Jess's bridal shower - a lovely tea lunch at this adorable tea house in Fullerton. The girls all dolled up, we had mini sandwiches and wine - it was a ball.
April:
The biggie in here was Jess's wedding to Mr. Lamprinos! T and I formed team TJ and realized we are seriously kick ass bridesmaids. The wedding was beautiful as was the bride - I wrote an entire blog on the evening back in April - so check it out. April also brought Coachella. This was my 1st time in attendance and I showed up for Sat and Sun spending the weekend with Terri, Jenni and Roy. Absolutley amazing - again - blogged about that back then so take a read.
May:
I participated in the AIDS walk at Anaheim Stadium and my walking buddies were Court and my sis-in-law. I raised almost $600 and was so proud to take part in this event. May 17th Dad, T and I attended the Doheny Blues Festival - as per usual - fan-fucking-tastic! We became new fans of Johnny Lang and listened to killer blues all day in the hot sun, drinking and eating the day away! The last part of May I went with the Bistro Boys to Havasu for 5 days. The trip had its ups and downs but for the most part was a blast - separate blog on that as well!
June:
Dad I and went to the Playboy Jazz Festival - Tower of Power of course being our main draw. The entire thing was phenominal - separate blog there. This was also the month Shane and D threw a masquerade party in honor of thier 30th birthdays. Melita painted my face up with a fantastic mask and Rose and I had a blast being our sassy selves as usual! The end of the month is when Jess set me up on my very 1st blind date and I met the boy whom shockingly enough I'm still dating to this day :)
July:
Had a great little 4th of July gathering. Rose came over and cooked us up a ridiculously amazing meal and we all stuffed our faces, drank and had a fabulous time - kiddie pool and all. The major highlight of this month was my trip to Decatur/Chicago with Dad, Lori and Jon. I am eternally grateful Dad and Lori gave me this opportunity to take a week long trip I'll never forget - that one has day by day blogs you can check out.
August:
Brought us the Tai/Parker wedding - a fabulous day - Team Red kickin ass. Beautiful wedding, reception and after party! At the end of the month the boy took me to a wine resort in Temecula where we had a fantastic time - separate blog on that. Then at the end of the month T, Jenni and Amber joined me in a weekend away to Vegas - sadly I was sick the whole time but still had fun! Another blog there.
September:
Took a few days down in San Clemente with mom at our time share - always love going there. The boy took me to Flogging Molly and they rocked it!
October:
Haunt, Gogol Bordello, Tower of Power - all have thier own blogs - fantastic times! I also got to experience the Universal Haunt - which was a great night. Of course this month also brought on my Halloween Party at moms - huge success as usual!
November/December:
Sadly this is when the year started going downhill - Papa had a stroke before Halloween (He's ok now), Opera Pacific went under causing me to move back home with mom, and the depression and stress really set in. I'm not going to go into any detail here as you've all probably read the long list of upsetting blogs at that time. Christmas Day was fantastic tho - I do plan on writing a separate blog on that and I've been taking it day by day.
In addition to the month by month breakdown - I have to mention some other highlights: Summer Concerts in the park with T and Ber, ANTM nights, drinks out with friends, new music, new shows, watching history be made when Obama became president, taking a film class, our Prop 8 PSA, fantastic photo shoots, watching my kitties get bigger and crazier! So the year was mostly good - thats for sure. The economy and my life taking a nasty turn but I'm truly hoping that this will open up new doors and opportunites for me in the year 2009.
I wish you all a year of happiness - we need it!
Happy New Year everyone!

Christmas Memories...

Well, lets just say this is not quite where I expected to be come this Christmas. Moved back in with mom. No job. No future. Lots of stress. Economy in the shitter. Merry fuckin Christmas right? Well - Right! Its hard, I'm fighting depression but this blog is about the good - I came home last weekend to the smell of cookies baking. Mom was making her annual Xmas Cookies. It smelled so good. I walked in to find my sis-in-law decorating the gingerbread men. We put a few decorations this year, got a small tree. Family and a few friends are coming over tomorow. We got lil gifts for each other. Nothing much. I'm really looking foward to it tho. Last night as I drove home from rehearsal I drove through Old Towne Orange to look at the lights - and Pine/Palm street (mom had told me to drive by) was amazing! The entire street glows. Apparently this street does this every year - I drove through twice, my eyes glistening with the sweet memory of how much I love Christmas lights. I felt like a kid again. The wonderment, giddiness, innocence. So here's a blog of Christmas Memories. Happy Christmas Everyone!

• My parents got divorced when I was very young, but that didnt stop my dad from being here every Christmas morning for years. Shane and I would have to stay in our rooms while he came in with all his presents. One of my favorite years was when Shane and I were hittin the teenage years and we still had to do this. My bro and I sat in my room laughing and rolling our eyes saying we cant believe we still have to do this - but of course loving every second.


• I heard Santa and his reindeer a few years. These are the years my parents got really ambitious and would run up and down the side of our house with bells, I think they actually got on the roof a few times.


• When we would put up our Xmas lights - my brother would always make a giant peace sign on the roof - we started to get known for that. I miss it.


• My mom's coffee cake she'd make every Xmas morning. Honestly thats the only time I really like to eat coffee cake.


• The fact that Santa would visit us and fill our stockings at mom's, dad's and grandma and papa's. The bro and I thought we were so good!


• Mom's cookies of course. She makes cornflake things (Shane's fave), carmelitas, santa bars, shortbread, snowballs (Dad's fave - says they pouf in his mouth), snickerdoodles, etc etc.


• We used to go to Fashion Island and Roger's Gardens every year to look at the lights. We also used to go to Knotts Merry Farm and a place in Fountain Valley that a neighborhood went all out in decorations and lights.


• A Christmas Story playing 24 hours on TNT

• Decorating the Xmas tree, and remembering all my little ornaments

• Of course the pets always had stockings too...

And of course as I've gotten older some of these have changed - I'm going to leave out the married Xmas years because those memories are now tainted, but I created a few new ones the past few years.

• Santa still visiting me and Coyan and filling our stockings Xmas morning


• Watching Christmas movies all through December


• Visiting the Snoopy House on Albert/Santa Ana Ave


• Decorating my own house


• My annual Christmas Eve party that was always so bitter sweet


• Coyan and my Xmas card

Now I'm changing again, I'm back home with mom and new memories will be made. Dont ever take these memories for granted, you never know when they'll change yet again. Happy Holidays!!!

Moon Goddess...

Last nite and tonite I've heard the moon is larger then ever. In my wine haze, depression fog I wander outside and stare at the moon. Its so bright. I stare and see the blue haze that surrounds it, like a firey ring. The stars dim in its brightness. I txt the boy, I'm sure if he's awake he thinks silly sentimental fool. I txt some of my ladies, they may think me silly but also understand. One of my lovley ladies also wrote a blog yesterday about the same thing. My grandma told me today how she and her dear friend she used to camp with would always go out and look at the moon. The others would laugh and call them silly, but they would always go together and look at the moon. She called me tonite, leaving me a msg saying to go out and look at the moon. Her and Papa were going out a few times to just stare. Its stunning. Have you ever noticed how different your shadow looks in the moons light? Almost disfigured, somewhat hazy, distraught, the moons shadow. So much different then the suns. She's a quiet magnificent light, shining down on us night owls saying all will be alright. Its so much more silent. The night sounds mysterious and full. So bright. I can see her face looking down upon my gaping stare. Sigh. So beautiful. So silent. Its breathtaking. I toast her and she dances around my wine glass, taunting. I play with my shadows. Listen to the night air. The night creatures. At one point they all stop, silent, staring up into her glory. Moments like these. Peaceful moments like these. I embrace them. I need them. I thank the Moon Goddess tonight. Thank you.

F the Po-Po...

I dont like cops. I never have. I rarely have had a run in with one when they haven't been a complete ass or power hungry or whatever. I'm not saying all cops are pricks, but I have yet to meet a nice one thats for sure.
I seem to remember I've had most problems with cops in the city I'm now living in again with mom. I had another example today. I'm going to let it go but I had to blog a small rant about it.
I'm sitting at the light on Walnut/Tustin. A cop is 2 cars behind me and in the left hand turn lane. Light turns green, I head straight. I notice the cop pulls out of the left lane and follows behind the car behind me. The car behind me turns. The cop follows me and turns on his lights. I'm thinking "What the hell did I do?" My registration isnt due until next month. I'm not speeding. I'm not on my cellphone. WTF.
He walks up to my window and says "Nice to see your now wearing your seatbelt". I'm baffled. Little side note here: I ALWAYS wear my seatbelt. Ever since I grew up with Mom/Dad both saying the second my brother and I would sit down in the car "Put on your seatbelt!". Its seriously imbeded in my head. Its habit. I always - get in my car - put on my seatbelt - start the engine and head out. ALWAYS.
So. I'm baffled. "I was wearing it" I say. "Not when you were at the light at Tustin/Walnut" he says. I'm getting irritated because I was and I'm thinking how the hell do you argue with a cop. "Yes I was" I say again. Mind you I'm being very polite, just a bit confused. I'm wearing a hat and a fluffy coat...maybe the dude didnt THINK I was wearing it or didnt see it due to the coat fluffyness (Note to self, dont drive with this coat on again...), but I was. I hand him my license and open my glove box to get my registration. "Its ok, I dont need your registration". I'm starting to think - this dipshit totally made a mistake and wont admit it. He then rattles off these questions: "Have you ever gotten a ticket" "No" I say "Never?!" he says. "No" I say. "Have you ever been arrested, been in jail, on probation". To of course I answer all no's. He then asks if I live in the city. (Of course my license still has the old addy on there). "I do now" I say, "I moved back a few weeks ago". "Let me verify you, then you'll be on your way". He goes to the car with my license and I'm sitting there stewing. He's a young cop, probably very very new to the job. He has a horrible weird tooth sticking out and is wearing those lame "I'm a badass" cop glasses. I want to jump out of my car and shout "You made a mistake you stupid little child!!! Admit it!". I dont. He comes back, gives me my license and says "Your lucky".
Oh lord. Let me tell you....This was one of those moments I had to bite my tongue. I'm not very good at doing this, especially when I'm already annoyed because I did nothing wrong and he fucked up but then he says "Your Lucky?" I'M LUCKY!!!!! I'M LUCKY YOU ASSHOLE! YOUR THE ONE THAT IS A FUCKING MORON AND CANT SEE THAT I HAD MY SEATBELT ON! Of course I dont say this. I just say "Thank you" through gritted teeth and fume the rest of the way home.
WTF was that all about? Did he need to feel manly? Does he have a small penis? Did he want to feel powerful cuz he was a cop? Did he think I was cute and pulled me over to check me out then realized how old I was and thought differently? He obviously mistakenly thought I wasnt wearing my seat belt then realized his mistake but would not admit it.
What pisses me off also, is what if he did write me up? How the hell could I prove that I was not in the wrong at all??!!! This douchebag could have fucked up my lil no ticket record which I'm very proud of! No he didnt, but still. Talk about irritating.
Welcome back home Jami. Jesus.

Downtown Orange Circle Christmas

Back to where I grew up...

I was 21 years old (I think...) or 22 when I moved out of my mom's house and into a little townhome in Costa Mesa thinking I was marrying the man of my dreams and starting a life together. May of 2004 I left that life, and moved with my roomie into our adorable little bungalow on the other side of Costa Mesa. Last weekend I moved back to Orange into my old bedroom in my old house with my mom.
Lib - my best friend for years and years - the gal I used to get in trouble with, the gal who went to Hell and back with me, the gal who used to live right around the corner from me - came by with her beautiful daughter. She sat in my room with me looking around at the boxes and mess and laughed. "This is fucking weird man!" she says. Mom stands in the doorway chuckling. "Remember all the heavy metal posters that covered my wall?" I said as I made silly faces to the little one. "I think I had more Poison ones, but you were the Motley Crue fantatic" Lib said laughing again. Right then the flood of memories came back. My bad years, my black years, the years of a strung out teenager. I looked around the room remembering the black decor, the posters EVERYWHERE, the drum set, everything. I look around now and its the reminants of my grown up life crammed into my little bedroom I grew up in.
Monday morning I took a walk. I wandered the streets I used to walk as a kid. Passed my old elementary school, past the area (not sure which house it was) that me and this gal named Belami would go after school and her mom would make us snacks, past the house where my girl scout leader lived, past the house my friend Jeff lived in whose house we'd toliet paper numerous times - even the bush I dove in to hide from the cops one nite is still there. I passed the street my dear friend Robin lived on, then past the house where the other Robin lived - I stared at the window we used to climb out of to hang out with our boyfriends. I passed Tim's house - we used to play and our families were friends and he got into trouble and I never knew what happened to him. Then I passed Ronnie's house, the boy I always had a crush on, who used to walk me home and his mom had boy scout meetings that my brother would go to and I would tag along. I passed the "Candyman's" house - the poor old man who was rumored to give poison candy to kids, past the house Ronnie and I swear was haunted. Then as I walked back up Walnut looking towards my street - remembering looking down this street so many years of my childhood life - when I was little, when I was sneaking home, when I was sad, when I was excited. Glancing down the street where Lib lived, and all the boys we used to get in trouble with - it looks so different.
I'm now trying to find all the places I'll need around here since its changed so much. Where's the sushi restaurants, the liquor stores, the grocery stores, Target, BevMo, Petco. Trying to get my bearings back. Trying to reajust to living in Orange.
People take for granted how used to you get to a city. You learn all the hot spots, the local hangouts, the good bars, the mom and pop places. Then you come back and its all different. I knew Costa Mesa so well, I used to know Orange so well. Now its all new.
This transition is hard. Its not my home anymore. My girls still wont venture out of the bedroom due to fear of Smokie (Mom's harmless, deaf pug who snorts). I dont know where anything is. Its strange. I'm scared. The effects of unemployment are hitting. Yes, I have time now to do all my creative things - especially since finding a job is nearly impossible right now - but its hard. I dont feel like myself. I feel lost. I know its only day 3 of being here by myself, but you know me...I get antsy fast.
Its weird folks. Fucking weird.