Thursday, November 2, 2017

Already taking a break from online dating...

 This blog was originally going to just be a collection of WTF's of dating.  That was going to be the title, but I'm too jaded and too bitter to continue right now.  I thought I was done with online dating.  I thought I had met a really great guy earlier this year and I found my person and I was so fucking giddily happy.  I finally had what I've been longing for, for so damn long.  WELP - that was ripped away from me when he turned out to actually NOT be the wonderful man I thought he was.



So I dove back into the online dating world to try again.  Back to square one.  Honestly I was hoping to meet someone before the holidays come around because I can't bear to think of yet ANOTHER holiday season without my person.  But here it is, November, and I'm finding that I'm just done.  If I read another goddamn profile that says "Love to Travel!"  "No Drama"  "Living life to the fullest!" or see another picture of a dude holding a fish, or so many people in the picture you can't tell which one the dude is, or the dude covered up in hats and sunglasses, or pictures of the fucking scenery, I'm going to break my phone in half.  If another asshole emails me, then texts me and it seems we're going to go out and sometimes even make an actual date then ghosts LIKE THEY ALL SEEM TO FUCKING DO, I'm going to actually start just stabbing random men because they have a penis.



So - I need to pause.  I need to not online date for a couple of months.  The holidays are going to be hard enough so let's not throw the depressing, anxiety ridden HellHole that is online dating into the mix.  I'm not totally quitting - I will go back after the new year.  I may try Match.  Haven't given that one a go yet.  But unless that wonderful man who is meant to be my person shows up in a fucking Santa Suit and makes my Xmas the best Xmas ever - I'm not giving up.  I will go back at it.  But not now.  I just don't have it in me.

So in the meantime - enjoy the WTF's I collected below and realize why you'll never hear someone say "I just love online dating!"


So here is a couple of moments in the Online Dating Hell that has made me or my friends go:




This isn't dating app/site specific - just moments.  So here ya go:

Jami WTF moment #1 - dude on Bumble.  We're chatting a bit.  He's got a cutie patootie little girl.  He's pretty tatted, bearded, longer hair but I dig me some scruff.  After maybe 2 days of chatting (we never exchanged digits thank GAWD) I get the "Is a head tattoo a deal breaker?".

I ask "Are you getting one". He says yes.  I say "Are you shaving your head then?" He says yes, but will grow his hair back after that tattoo, then proceeds to explain it's like having tattoos under your clothes. I'm thinking...ummmm not really at all.  He says he wants to get one cuz it's cool.  I waited a day or two on this (because am I too vain?), but no.  I just can't.  I love tattoos but head/face...little much.

Girlfriend WTF moment #2.  This friend of mine is goddamn hilarious.  I call her Wonderfully Weird.  She's fucking amazing and has a quirky awesome sense of humor that always has me in stitches.  She's handling douchebags just fine.  Take a look:






This is the "Tits" pic she sent
Jami WTF moment #3.  So you all know about "ghosting".  This happens 99.9% of the time it seems whether you've met up or not.  Dudes ghost.  Period.  Well - I met the opposite.  I went on a date with this guy who had made the comment that he would never "ghost" and was surprised how much I expected people to do so. (This guy must be new).  So we went on a date, he text me later saying I was cool, etc but there was no spark.  I text back that I appreciate the honesty, etc.  He lived up to his word.  Didn't ghost.  But then...the next day I get a text "Just wanted to drop a hello so you wouldn't think I ghosted".  Umm.....WTF?  So I text back "You didn't and again, I thank you for your honesty but you basically said we didn't click".  Seriously dude?  You blew me off.  Thank you for not "ghosting" but go away.


Girlfriend WTF moment #4.  My wonderful friend I refer to as my mini me sent me her addition.  Um.  This guy. 

Date WTF moment #5.  So I went on a date with this guy, and we were talking about bad dates.  He told me a gal he went out with farted every 10 minutes, loudly, and acted like nothing was happening.  He actually started timing it.


So there's a few tidbits for you.
See you next year.
I'm done.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Tis the season...

For Jami's Halloween Events!!!

Due to the amazingly generous friends I have, I'm able to hit these all again this year!

1st up - Universal Horror Nights.

So, usually I spend Halloween weekend up in WeHo with Jay and stay the weekend.  This year I'm not going to be able to get up there for Halloween but did still get to spend a wonderful weekend with him and friends!

Taylor was joining me this year and got to experience the lovely weekend getaway that is - chilling with Jay and the babies.
This is how I like to start off a weekend

Ready to party!
We got up there Friday evening and I staked claim on the awesome cabana like pad outside.  Taylor shacked up in the guest room.  Jay, as per usual, had the place decorated for Halloween!  I only took a few shots of my digs and the outside since drinking was involved and I forgot.

Backyard


My swanky cabana!

The other side of my swanky cabana!


BABIES!
That evening Eric and The Shock's all came over for tacos and margaritas and then Candy Darling made her appearance and hosted Drag Queen Bingo!!

Taco Time!
Taylor and Candy

Pink Kitty and Candy

Love the floof

Susie and Candy
Bingo!!!!

Candy was done with the shoes

Saturday was spent recovering.  Later that afternoon Taylor/Jay and I grabbed lunch at Hamburger Marys.  Delish!  Then that night - HORROR NIGHTS RIP TOUR!

Horror Nights Crew

I love this man

Monsters!
They did the RIP (VIP) version once before then took it away.  They brought it back this year, but it wasn't as cool.  No private scare, no decorations in the VIP area and our tour guide took us on a marathon to hit all the mazes in under 2 hours.  It was cool but super exhausting.  All that aside though, it was an awesome evening of great fun with great people as always!  My 2 favorite mazes were The Shining and Ash vs Evil Dead.  The detail was spectacular.  I didn't get any good scares though this year though, but that's no surprise. Ha!  The VIP Dinner was super delicious and we did land back there for some desserts and coffee which were yum.  The Jaborwockeez show was awesome as usual and we all had a total blast!!!  Thank you Jay!!!

Sunday was a very lazy, lounge around day.  I found myself in the pool a bit and we just hung out, chatted and played with the babies.  I love this time with Jay.  It's so relaxing and one of the very few times I'm forced to actually just relax and do nothing.

After glorious lounging with Jay, Taylor and I headed off for our last 2 events of the weekend.  We decided to grab sushi (my Visa is going to explode) and kill time down at the Americana for a bit.  We were so tired!
We did this like the whole time
Then we headed to our 1st stop - The Ghost Train!  Taylor knew of this and grabbed us tickets since it's right down the street from our other stop.  There's this park called Travel Town near Griffith Park that is full of trains.  I stumbled across this by accident a few months ago and had fun wandering around taking photos of the old trains.  There is also apparently a little train you can ride that takes you around the park. Well - I guess there used to be a Ghost Train during Halloween that they discontinued. They brought it back! It was so damn cute!!!

You def want to get there right when it opens. It only runs 3 weekends and the line was already long when we got there 45 minutes early.  They have these teeny trains that are kind of like benches on tracks.  You straddle it sort of like a horse and take about a 25 minute ride around the park at night. I was blown away by all the decorations!! They had little areas you drove through, lots of lights, different themes, so much fun! It's family friendly so bring the kiddos.  I was super impressed by all the work that was obviously put into this. I tried to take pictures along the train ride, but it's a bit tough when your moving. Will totally revisit this next year!!


So cute!

Boarded and ready to ride the train!




The cool creepy tree talked to us before we head off!







That bear tho...


Seriously - best decor!


Next up was Haunted Hayride.  Now, I used to do this every year but unfortunately it's gone way down hill. I skipped it last year in fact. But Taylor was determined to give it another shot so he bought our tickets. Sadly we were again super disappointed. It was supposedly a clown theme this year but it's just not good anymore. The Hayride is way uncomfortable. They put too many people in the thing (which is so unnecessary because NO ONE was really there.) There were a couple of cool stops - a dancing clown marionette group that you didn't realize were peeps that ran at you - awesome. But that was probably the only good part. You got out at one point and walked through a so called maze, but all it was, was people hitting the almost falling fences. It was super uneven and dark and so fucking lame. Plus your sinuses go to hell because it's so dusty. So - this event is a huge bust and I for sure won't be returning. But we did get the front pictures. The best thing about the damn thing is it's entry display.
Hayride


My last Halloween Event was Knotts Haunt. Taylor works there now so he treated us to the evening and was the best tour guide ever!  Knotts has been a bit disappointing over the past couple of years but they have stepped it way up this year!

We grabbed dinner at TGIFriday's which was also adorably decorated, then headed in.  We snapped some fun shots right of the bat!

"Act Scared"


Adore these two!
Our 1st maze was the Zombie Fight!  You're handed some guns and off to kill zombies!  We were rushed in, so I got a quick blurry shot first.  We then were lead through the area by different soldiers and shot at zombies.  I did pretty good!

Zombie Killers!
We then hit a couple of really cool mazes.  The decor this year has totally stepped up.  It looks great!!  My favorite maze was Shadowlands.  You walk through a broken down amusement park ride. The monsters and decorations were fucking awesome!!!  At one point you walked into the big room and it was like a broke down circus. The characters were walking around, including a clown on stilts, and it was very creepy and surreal! I loved it so much!

The best Haunting Crew EVA!
 We got some game cards, and my only complaint is they don't have many Halloween themed toys to win. But Jay and I did play the claw games and each one a Muertos! Yay!

Next up was Elvira. This is the last year she's doing this show. She was just fantastic! The dancers were great (and so pretty!). She even did her titty tassel twirl at the end!

Waiting for Mistress of the Dark!
We watched The Hanging after this, which was actually pretty funny. Very political of course. Then we hit up the rest of the mazes. They were all so great! I took some random decor pictures when I could.



Burning the Wicker Man!
I can't believe we stayed as long as we did. It was close to 1am when we were heading out, but we hit all the mazes and both shows. Having front of the line is the way to go. If you get a chance - hit it up this year! It's totally worth it!!!

Huge Huge Thank You's to Taylor and Jay for making it possible for me being able to even do this things.  Halloween is my favorite time of year and I had such a great time!

Had to throw in a few pictures from the fun Halloween themed Burlesque show my amazingly talented friend Miss Erika runs!  It was up at the Gravalx in LA.  It's a tiny little bar and the gals were lovely and fun!  Erika sang a few numbers beautifully.  Her lil sis made her dancing debut.  Her hubs was the MC.  Great band.  Great fun! 

After the show

One of the gals gave me her baby

Pisces Trifecta

Laughing the night away

Go girl!


Happy Halloween Bitches!