Chapman 5K...

So I know I'm nowhere near what some people are doing in the world of active-ness right now. My GAWD. I read some of my friend’s updates and blogs and my mind is blown. Triathlons, Ironman Races, Hell one of my co-workers placed 1st in the Chapman 5K for the women. HELLOOOO!!!!!!
So, I need to tell myself, what I'm doing is good for me. Just me. Its ok Jami, you’re not going to be doing any 80 million mile bike rides anytime soon. I'm so very happy I'm not as competitive as I used to be. Now I'm just inspired. It's truly amazing what these friends are doing. And I have quite a handful of them too. (I know at least one of you is reading this Ms. Kickass). But seriously. Insane what these folks have accomplished and just keep friggin going. I look forward to more blogs and updates and news on them probably running/biking around the world at some point here soon. Keep it up my friends - you all are fucking amazing.
But let's come back to me.
As you all know from my past blogs, and those of you who just know me. Yes - I'm athletic. Yes I'm pretty fearless. Yes I like to sign up for the weirdest shit. But no, I'm not in the most amazing shape. And yes, I'm very broken/busted. The tumor on my foot is extremely painful and we all know my knee woes. (Although I'm starting to wonder, if when I do get surgery, maybe a robo knee will be like a superhero thing!!!) Plus my awesome back injury likes to throw its opinion into the mix quite often. But that doesn’t stop me. It does slow me down though. Alot.
I'm smarter now. I know when not to over-do it. (Ok most of the time, not all of the time). My accomplishments are baby ones and that is probably what work best for me right now. I mean hello - not too long ago I was quite the partier, smoked a pack or more a day and exercised when I felt like a fatty that usually lasted about a day or two. Then I'd overdo it and completely fuck myself up. I also loooooved to eat at about 2am. Now I'm a little better. Yes, just a little. I've quit smoking (a feat in of itself), I eat sort of better, I exercise regularly and I drink...well I still drink, but not like before. My party days are now what I like to call grown up party days. On a school night with few exceptions I'm in bed at a decent hour, and I curb my drinking to just a couple of glasses instead of a bottle.
But I've completely gone off the subject. I'm supposed to blogging about the Chapman 5K. I'm realizing I may write another "working on life changing" blog later.
Chapman 5K.
I signed up for this only because I work there, it was free and I'm trying to be more involved there. I also figured I'd just walk with some Chapman peeps and call it a day.
Well, as the day came closer the people I was going to walk with slowly started dropping off. I've made more acquaintances there, but alot were actually going to run it so they were out. The ones that were going to walk with me were either now working check in, or bitching out altogether. So the day came and I had no buddy.
When my alarm went off in the dark of morning - do you know when this is??? The time before the sun comes up when your body is saying "Why the fuck are you getting up at this ungodly hour on a SATURDAY??!!". I'm not gonna lie - I about bitched out myself. It was free, who cares, I had to work the beer garden from 1 to 5 anyway, grumble grumble. Well - I did it. I got up, showered and headed over in the dark.
It was bustling with people and excitement, so I found one of my running coworker friends and chatted with him while we stretched and got ready. I have learned to use Pandora on my scary phone, and had this little arm thingie that could hold it. So I told myself - "You did most of beach palooza alone, this will be a nice test to do it completely alone". So I did.
I stuck in my ear buds and zoned out the people around me. The race began and I heard faint cheers as the herd started to move. The start line was shooting off white confetti in the air as we ran through. It was awesome. I did jog this 1st part, mainly to get away from the crowds. We ran thru the Orange Circle and into the neighborhoods. We started to space out, and at this point my knee started to scream, so I fell into my very brisk power walk. I ended up in a great rhythm that I didn’t stop. I had on the Flogging Molly Pandora. Can I say how perfect this is for this little Irish Girl to power walk in my own little world to?! Especially when they sing the warrior crys!
We hit the 1st mile and I started noticing that I was passing alot of people. Including these little tiny bitchy college whores in their little bitty shorts who pranced passed me earlier. Now they were all tired and dragging. HA BITCHES!!
Sorry. Catty moment.
There were random people along the route that had wandered out of their houses to watch or cheer us on. Not many, but a few. My favorites were a group of about 8 women in their 50's-ish with mimosas cheering us on. Another was a little old couple standing on their porch, and as I neared, the little man whipped up a trombone and was playing little tunes. That was a little bit of awesomeness right there.
As I passed the 2 mile mark, I was floored at how many people I was passing. I know I walk faster than the average person. I can’t run for shit without my foot or knee acting up, but dammit I can walk the shit out of races!! I was quite impressed with myself that I didn’t let up. I was focused, in a nice little zone and trekking along.
When I hit campus we rounded the corner and there was a whole crap load of peeps cheering and what not. I got excited thinking I was at the finish line, so I started to run again. Bad idea. I sailed thru campus, but we turned back onto a street. My knee started to swell and pretty much gave at that point. I fell back into my walk, but as per usual when I did finally spot the finish line, I had to run across it. So I did. Yes I was limping, yes I probably shouldn’t have, but I did push myself a bit too much. I high fived our Panther Mascot as I stumbled over the finish line.
My knee was swollen and screaming and my foot was starting to throb. But I felt great. Busted or not I felt fantastic. I grabbed my oatmeal and juice, shot a pic with my co-worker and headed out to clean up before coming back.
It was interesting how I felt. I know I'm never going to 1st, or probably even in the top, but I'm doing great for me. I'm steady. Slow and steady wins the race right? I like these baby steps. I'm trying to find ways to handle more. My therapist wants to kill me, but she works out my scar tissue and has kept me out of surgery thus far. I have ortho things in my shoes now that are hopefully going to quiet down the fiery tumor. I'm also noticing I can last longer, and heal better. Grant it I had to opt out of my boxing class tonite due to alot of pain waist down, but I'm learning how to slow down and not kill myself. I also did the race in 38 minutes. Best I've ever done! I do walk pretty damn fast! :)

Smoking...

I miss it...
Oh do I miss it...
October 5th was 7th months.
My body is not reacting as violently as it was. But I'm still having some issues. I had my 1st chest X-ray yesterday. Dr. thinks it'll be fine, but they want to just check it out since I've been having odd feelings in my chest. Personally I think my lungs are confused, because they don’t get the daily intake of smoke. They miss it too.
I remember the 1st cigarette of the day. That burning sensation down your throat. That long exhale of swirly smoke. That smell. That taste. That feeling. Only a smoker will know that this paragraph is like heaven. I miss it.
The cravings have not gone away, really at all. My Dr. said "You'll never be a non-smoker. You'll always be a recovering smoker. It's like alcoholism. But nicotine is the most addictive one you can do." He smiled and followed up with "You were a loser before, now you’re making efforts to take care of yourself. You've given yourself life." Yup. He's my new primary Doctor. I like him.
I still miss it. And from the sounds of it I always will. I still don’t feel any "Better". I don’t notice any differences. I don’t feel any different or better or cleaner or breathe better or any of that. Doc says I won’t for a year. So, guess we'll see. Oh how I miss it.
I have to say - I am proud of myself. I really didn’t think I could ever do it. I still can’t believe I actually did. I'm not exaggerating when I say a cigarette has not touched my lips. I honestly think I'm afraid if I have one puff I'll go back. It's actually getting a bit harder to be around smokers because I miss it so much. Being around the smoke is like dangling candy in front of a diabetic. I really don’t want to become one of those friends to my smoking friends that can’t be around them now that I don’t smoke, but it's getting harder it seems.
Oh how I miss it.
I guess it was time though. This is why I was able to do it. I feel like I lost a part of myself. It's really the strangest feeling. It's like something is missing from my life.
Goodbye my sweet dear friend American Spirits. Your yellow box was my favorite. I can taste you as I type this. Your sweet smell that you left on my fingers and on my clothes. You were always with me. Like an extension of my arm. Just there. You were there for me during stressful times, sad times, happy times. But I had to let you go. It's time.
Oh how I miss it.
Almost a year now.
I miss you.

Beachapalooza...

The night before, I was a good little girl and went to bed early to be ready for the big day. Unfortunately the day started off a bit crappy. Another friend had to back out. One backed out earlier in the week due to being deathly ill, and now I lost another. So after a few disappointed tears, D said to just ride with her and Court so I figured I'd risk motion sickness for company. So off to Long Beach we went. We hit a bit of traffic, but I did alright. My main thing was doing the race with someone. It's fun to chat with someone and have someone there at your side that can pace you. I was thinking I'd be slowing D and Court down if they stayed with me. Well everything turned out totally differently so all ended well.
There were a total of 8 of us. Most being actual runners, so I knew I would meet up with all of them later. We hung out, chatted, my good friend Mic showed up to cheer us on and take photos. It was a gorgeous clear day and our 11am wave was about to start. And GO!!!

We're off, I'm starting out in my usual slow trot that won’t last long, when I realize - "Why is this so much harder?". Sand. Wow. F Sand. I knew it was a bit difficult to run/walk in sand but DUDE!!!! My normal routine is I slowly trot, then start to power walk when my knee starts barkin. Well...you can’t really "power walk" in sand. D was immediately miserable due to her weak ankles and not a happy camper.
We hit our 1st obstacle. The hanging water noodles. I had seen the picture online, but didn’t realize there was rope as well. That damn rope. I remember that during Warrior Dash. It's not easy to climb over/under that. But we did and there was Mic snapping away!

After a bit, Court took off ahead and D and I struggled thru the sand. I found I fell into a pretty good rhythm and my knee wasn’t hurting. D was having a helluva time and generally pissed off so when I asked if she minded if I tested my knee out and went ahead she was more than encouraging. So off I went, I decided to try trotting a bit more. I was doing pretty well until we hit the part where we were right along the water line, and at this beach is quite the slant. So we were running pretty much sideways. This was not fun whatsoever. Water hit our feet, and now we had sand shoes. After I got through that, I hit our 2nd obstacle. You crawled under this net, then into a hole of water - trekked thru then did it again. The sand smelled like ass. Seriously. Off I went again. I was surprised at how well I was doing. I was still able to trot, when usually at this point I can only power walk.
D caught up with me, and we were just coming up on the water station where Court waited for us. Mic was there again for some photos. I have to say - it was awesome having a friend along the race smiling and taking photos! I really loved having that kind of support! So off we went again.
Court and D were struggling pretty badly at this point so I went off ahead. This was the 1st time I did a race pretty much by myself. I still like having someone pace me, but it was kinda nice. I was concentrating on trying to keep a steady pace, I had got a nice rhythm again. More of an oddly big stepping robot walk, than a normal power walk (I'm sure I looked the fool) but it kept me going. Next obstacle came up - we had to walk up a balance beam, and then hop onto circular wooden platforms. The last hop was quite a hop. I almost missed it. But landed just on the edge and didn’t topple over. As I came down Mic was running to catch me, but he didn’t realize I'd gotten ahead. Look at me!!!
Off I went again. It was hot, and the sand was brutal but I kept my pace. Next obstacle. 3 walls with holes in them. You had to climb thru the holes in the walls. Well, on the 3rd wall, the hole was so high up! I stood there looking at it for a moment wondering how the hell I'm to get thru that. I was standing in between 2 tall guys when one hopped - grabbed the top of the wall and swung his body thru it. Ok. I attempted this. Well shorty here couldn’t reach the top. So - I grabbed the hole and hoisted myself in it. I was proud of my upper body strength, but was now perched in this hole not sure how to get out. If someone could have videoed this - we would have made thousands. I did this sort of tumble out and landed on all fours. I of course squealed the whole way down. I'm sure I was a sight.
Off I was again. I looked around and realized I was quite alone. Some stragglers in front and in back of me but the good runners were well gone, and the rest of the folks were way behind me. It was a nice moment. The ocean, the beautiful day and except for the fact that I was panting and walking like a robot it was pretty serene. I was coming up on the next obstacle when I saw the 11:30 wave heading out. I had 2 goals - don’t let the 11:30 wave lap you, and beat Court and D (No offense girls, but you've always beat me in the past!). So I began to trot again.
This obstacle was a balance beam up, across, and then down. There was Mic! As I hopped off the downward beam - my knee went. I flinched and almost went down. But that was it. No more trotting.


I fell back into my odd robot walk, with a slight limp now added to it. Man I must have looked amazing! Ha ha!
Another obstacle. This was the giant beach balls. Seriously - these were about 10 feet tall. It was those damn ropes you have to climb thru again, I was extra careful now that the knee was starting to shoot stabbing pains, then you pretty much walk thru the balls. I enjoyed watching a few dudes try to jump on them, and then made my way out. Smile for Mic!

I'm now on the final stretch. I robot walk up to the curve, but really want to at least trot thru the fire and last obstacle to the finish. I begin to trot. It's my broken trot due to angry knee but I trotted! I come up to the fire - I see the photographers - I want so badly to do an awesome badass pose as I leap over the 2 sets of fire. I bitch out. I probably have the same photo as Warrior Dash! Me jumping, looking down, looking freaked out! Ah well.
The last obstacle is an ice shallow pool. You slide into it, swim under the net and crawl out. My breath is taken away it's so cold, but it feels so friggin good at the same time since I'm pouring sweat and bright red. I pull myself out, and try to look proud going across the finish line in my gimpy trot.
I'm handed a pineapple medal and run right into Art whose congratulating me. I join our group and realize D and Court have yet to appear. I limp over to where Mic is by the fire and see them coming. I scream and cheer them on and realize I made my goal! (I think...I don’t recall seeing any 11:30 peeps pass me).
We are all red, sweaty and happy. We snap some photos, head into the event, pop a squat and enjoy our free Mike's Harder Lemonade. (FYI - the cranberry one is awesome). I buy myself an amazing veggie pita from Global Soul Food Truck (Check them out!) and we all chat and laugh and recap and agree sand is our new enemy for races.
I'm not sure if I would do this one again or not. I don’t think anyone would want to do it with me though. It didn’t have nearly enough obstacles for me, but I still had fun. I'm sooooooo looking forward to the ROC race (Ridiculous Obstacle Course), so we'll see how that goes.
Today my knee is a bit sore, but not swollen! I'm not as sore as I can get, and I wore my new Orthos to see how they did, and I think it was ok. (Sidebar - I got Orthos to see if they will help with my neuroma. My Dr. wants to avoid surgery if possible, so I'm to wear these when I'm active now.) It flared this morning, but I'm not worried yet.
So I survived another one! It was nice to see I can do it alone, and not be bored or distracted. I still had a pretty damn good time!