My birthday and a boy...

I'm 42.
40 damn 2.
Where the hell does the time go?

I really wanted to do something for my birthday this year.  It was on a Friday.  It blew last year.  I just wanted to do SOMETHING.  For a nano second I thought for once in my entire birthday career I was going to have nice weather.  Maybe I'll head down to Laguna for the day/night!  How beautiful right?!  No.  60 degrees.  Oh and I got probably the worse sinus infection of my life that resulted in the biggest ugliest cold sore EVER on my damn face.  Thanks universe.

So  - my birthday plans altered slightly.  I was able to get the face pain under control and enough friends/family yelling at me not to be so damn vain that I ended up having a great birthday.

Since the weather was against me - I just pretty much wanted to eat and drink all damn day.  That is exactly what happened.

Brekkie with dad at Eat Chow (I have turned him on to one of my favorite restaurants) followed by a lovely shopping spree at The Outlets.  Thanks Daddy!!!

Cheers Dad!

One of my besties - Taylor had planned to join up with me, and mom had offered up lunch so next stop  - Oyster Bar (I had said I wanted oysters) at the Train Station (random right?) But so cool and damn delicious!!!!!  Thanks Taylor!!!

Oyster time!!

Then we wanted dessert so we hit Lazy Dog.  Thanks mom!!!

Love!

I finally decided to check out Lost Vine for my birthday eve.  I had been on a date there once and thought it very cool!  Since it was so last minute and I wasn't sure how I was going to be feeling, it was just a little group and was perfectly mellow and lovely.  2 of my other besties Robin and T had reached out to join up with me and we wrangled my sis in law and I had a great evening with friends! I was showered with presents and flowers Thanks guys!!!

I may be a bit tipsy

T always finds the most beautiful flowers!

Saturday I met up with my old boss Carol whom I adore for a yummy seafood lunch down in Dana Point - totally forgot to take a pic since we were too busy catching up - but thank you Carol!!

Sat night was a great date night that I'll get to below because that's also the "Boy" part of this blog.

Sun night my best friend/soul mate took me out to dinner with my favorite kiddo to our usual birthday stop - Shiki .  Such a perfect cap to a wonderful birthday weekend!!  Thanks Libby!!!

Seriously love these two more than anything!

Happy Birthday to me!!!

So - the other part of this blog - YOU GUYS I MET A BOY!

So, back in the hellhole of online dating a gem appeared.  The totally hilarious random part - we went to elementary, middle school and high school together.  We grew up down the street from each other.  I partied in his friggin treehouse back in the day!  SO. RANDOM.  We didn't know each other growing up because we ran in different friend circles but talk about a trip going out with a guy that comes from the same damn place as you do.

Fast forward - He's really nice.  He's got a beautiful heart.  He's affectionate. He's stable. He likes Horror. He's compassionate. He's a good man.  And we're giving it a go.  I have a boyfriend again.



So - the other part of my birthday weekend was Sat night.  We had a date planned, but it was a surprise.  All I knew was we were leaving my house at 5pm for something in Huntington Beach.  A surprise he planned you guys!!!



First stop was this fucking awesome little hole in the wall place called The Black Trumpet.  He had looked for a place to grab some food before the other thing he had planned and found this spot.  He's a fan of jazz and this fell right into his liking.  The place was awesome!  I want to go back again and check it out more.  Cool old jazz photos lined the walls.  Delish food and fantastically cool staff!  After we stuffed ourselves we had an appointment somewhere at 7pm.  What was it you asked - a Paint and Wine Date night!!  How cute is that!!!!  It was at Pinot Palette in Bella Terra.  I've been to these before but never one where you paint a canvas that is actually 2 connecting ones.  So damn fun!

Waiting for our touch!

What were supposed to be attempting to make

Paintin and Wine-in

His side was way better than my side

Our finished piece!

Finishing touches

Nabbed me a cutie I did

Goin Steady

 Such a wonderful birthday weekend full of laughter, love, fun, family, friends, food, wine and just plain awesomeness!  I am a lucky girl!!!

Paws Fur Pink 5K...

My friend Fatima and Amber did this race last year and asked if I wanted to join!  We just planned to walk it with her Great Dane Beckham.  I told Libby and she and Anita joined as well, bringing Libby's little adorable weirdo Pumpkin and Anita's 2 Pug/Pug mixes (Oliver and Daisy) along too!  It was called Paws Fur Pink.  Adorable name right!?

It took place at Irvine Park, so right up the street from me.  The weather was lovely and a perfect day for a stroll through the park with all the fur friends!  Well organized and a good group of vendors all around.  I meant to take more pictures, but I kept just getting caught up in the day!  Take a look!

Meeting friends

Matching Tu Tus!

Oliver kisses

Beckham loves Mama!

Pumpkin patiently waiting to start

Our little posse of pups

Her name was Penny

Lib and Pumpkin

They had a pre-yoga stretch

Puff!!!!

Oliver loved belly scratches

A puppy!!!

Waiting to start

Daisy wasn't havin it

Bulldog!!!!

So teeny!

The Bulldog only made it the 1st mile

More Teenies!

They had a little section where they cheered us on

Big puffy wolf dog

Little puffs!!

Big Puff!!!!

My gawd

Libby took some fun photos as well!!!

Oliver had to take a break

 Afterward Amber and grabbed breakfast at Tru Bru Coffee.  Talk about yummie!!!  They had mimosas!

All it all it was a perfect way to spend a Sunday morning!!!

Me Too/Times Up...

The #MeToo movement and Times Up movement have brought to light (FINALLY) what women, and men, have been battling for years.  Sexual Harassment,  Sexual Consent, Violation, etc etc and fucking etc.  It's something long overdue to be addressed and tackled and it's now finding it's feet and hopefully starting to make a difference.

I have been rolling around in my head for a few months now, how I want to share my stories.  I have so many.  But I just can't write them like I would normally tell a story.  I usually write with an air of humor and I'm brutally honest and raw.  I know this is what so many of you appreciate about my writing/blogging (thank you for that).  But I can't bring myself to do that this time.  But what I can do, is share it this way.  I hope to maybe write about this again, more close to how I usually write and share some more, but for now, here is what I'm able to do.

I've battled issues with self esteem my entire life. Never being the typical "pretty". Never being "popular". An ugly duckling of sorts meandering through life confused and sad and invisible until I was teased and bullied. I fell into a certain crowd. I could escape the reality that life was. But with this came violence. But that was ok. I let it. I was getting attention. Boys were noticing me. They told me I was pretty. They touched me and made me blush. But it was scary. I was used like a doll. They would touch me in front of others and I would softly say "Please no". They would whisper in my ear that they knew I liked it and I just didn't want to admit it. There was so many of them. Surrounded by a sea of testosterone amplified by drugs. I kept saying no. I started to cry. They seemed to like that more. I was so embarrassed. I just wanted to hide. This went on and on. This happened more than once. One time it was just me and another. He got so violent and angry when I cried. When the 1st hit came it sent me off my feet. Such a weird hot pain in my face. Something crashed and shattered over my head, glass spilling into my hair. I tried to crawl out the door but then I was in the air my face hitting something causing the coppery taste of blood fill my mouth. But then he was hugging me and apologizing. Stroking my hair saying he was sorry. It would never happen again.
It didn't.
That was the last time.

I was lucky. I got out of it. Since then I haven't looked back.
My cries for help were ignored. Other things were blamed. I was left to deal with those few years on my own. I vowed never to fall victim again. Never to show that vulnerability again. Never to be so damn stupid again. Anger filled me for years. I realized things like this were no big deal. I was a woman. I had no voice. When I tried no one listened.

Here I am today. So very different than those years ago. But many other incidences of harassment have followed me. The small taste above was the worst, but I still have a hard time feeling like I'm heard. I'm trying. I'm trying to wrap my head around this entire movement and approach it well. To be helpful. Supportive. To listen to others. To be there for women who may need help finding their voice.

I'm not sure what I will accomplish with this blog, other than I am joining the movement with so many others and sharing one of my stories.  We're not alone.

I will tell you this though - I am fucking done.